stress

From the Heart

In trying times, where do you turn?

Farmers are some of the most humble, down to earth people I know and they thrive on being able to feed the country. The stresses these farmers and farm families are enduring and hard on everyone involved. While they know that they work in a business where risks are always present due to weather, they sometimes need support and encouragement to work through their own mental and physical stress and even fatigue during these times.  Most of the farmers live on the land they farm and don’t have the chance to get away from these stresses. Most of us that work, work at a place that when it gets stressful, we get to leave for the day.  Farmers, on the other hand, don’t usually have this option.  They live, sleep and breathe their occupation.

There are so many decisions that farmers are making today into what this generation knows as uncharted territory.  They are worried about wet weather, how will I feed my livestock and where will my income come from?  Maybe you are a farmer reading this or maybe the farm wife, the neighbor, the family member or an agribusiness person, but one thing is for sure farmers are the heartbeat of many communities.  This week in the CORN newsletter, I am asking you who are reading it to take into account some steps outside your normal routine.

1. Slow down and breathe – farmer, farm family or other – we live in such a fast-paced world.  There are decisions that are being made that effect so many people.  We are truly all in this together.  We need to be kind and a friend at all times.

2. Take five minutes to take care of yourself. Depression and anxiety are real and you may seem like you can’t even put one foot in front of the other today. Let me tell you something, you are valuable, you are needed and it will be okay.  Maybe not okay in the sense that you think or the direction or path that was in your “Plan A” but you will be okay.

3. Give a smile, hello, nod or wave to another human being.  Remember it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile.

4.  If you feel these families need some extra help, reach out to your local Extension Office and they will help point you in the right direction.

The CORN newsletter is full of information to help in the decision process.  No, it’s not all rainbows and unicorns – it is real-life decisions. Farmers, this week as you are reading the articles, remember these few things. Write down your options (the pros and cons). Talk with your local Extension Educator or call them out for a farm visit. We, at OSU Extension, are here for you. We care about you even if you have never stepped foot into our office. Our service to you is free.

Additionally, as you read through the articles, think about your options. When it comes to questions on prevent plant acres contact your insurance agent. Don’t just assume they know your plans. This newsletter contains recommendations based on agronomic principals and potential considerations from an agricultural production perspective. If the management will be applied to crop insured acres you should check any impact that the management change will have on current or future insurance payments and eligibility.

Please share this information in any way possible – forward the email, tweet the post #FarmLivesMatter, share to your non-farm friends, Snapchat it to your kids, post on Instagram, print it off and drop it at church or even the local grocery store. The agriculture community is powerful and has many opinions, stresses, and directions.  Some people have no clue what is going on in an agriculture world, share with them.

Lastly, I am asking the community to check on your farmer neighbors and their families. Drop into the farm to check on the farmer and family. Bring them dinner but don’t just drop it off actually share some time with that family. They may come up with every excuse that the house is not clean or I am too busy. Maybe even drag them to your house for dinner. They may not want you there but they need you there as their support system.  Getting a vacation from the farm is probably what many families are eliminating due to financial pressures, but human interaction is one powerful value. While a simple was to check in text message don’t work in these situations.  They need your empathy not your sympathy. Go old school and play the board game, shut down the social media and have a conversation.  These things only cost your time. Did you ever think about giving back to those people who help feed the world?

Have a great week – Potentially more to come this week – Sarah Noggle, Editor CORN Newsletter

You can find more at https://agcrops.osu.edu/newsletter/corn-newsletter/201919/heart

Becoming a Skilled Communicator

“I’m every woman, it’s all in me.” Whether you remember the Chaka Khan version or the Whitney Houston version, chances are you’ve heard these divas express that “anything you want done, I‘ll do it naturally.” I don’t know about you, but I beg to differ. I can’t do it all myself, and I don’t want to imagine life without other women with whom and from whom I can learn.

That’s why I love being a part of programming for women in agriculture. We learn from one another. Last week I had the pleasure of experiencing the “AgricultuHER – Finding Your Voice” program in Troy, OH. This was offered through OSU Extension in Champaign and Miami Counties. I was so impressed with the women who presented their stories and insights.

Laura Sutherly (Sutherly Family Farm in Miami County) and Jess Campbell (Carroll Creek Farms in Warren County) both shared insights with the women about how they share their agricultural stories.

Since the theme of the program was finding our voice, I was asked to share some insights for navigating conversations when emotions are strong. Many of us are passionate about the work we do and the lives we lead connected to agriculture. There can be varied opinions when it comes to agricultural practices and philosophies. So how can we be a skilled communicator during conversations with people who may have different opinions than we do?

These strategies I’ll be discussing are from the book Crucial Conversations by Al Switzler, Joseph Grenny, Kerry Patterson, and Ron McMillan.

Have you ever been in a conversation that turned crucial? We can sense and identify that there are obviously opposing opinions and strong emotions. Even though we’ve all been there, we may not have the same physical experiences. For some the hairs stand up on the back of our neck. For others our heart rate increases. Some of us feel flush, our cheeks get hot. Hands get clammy. Mouths become dry.

Why, oh why, does this happen?

Actually it’s because our bodies were designed very well to handle stress. As we experience stress, adrenaline is pumped throughout our bloodstream. Blood is diverted away from our brain to our large muscles to give us more efficiency for either fight or flight. Unfortunately, our brain is not the best at distinguishing stress that could truly be a danger and stress that we simply perceive as a danger.

Ever said or done something during an argument and wondered afterwards, “How could I have said something that dumb?” or “Why in the world did I do that?” With less blood going to our brain, it’s little wonder that we act the way that we do in stressful situations.

That said, we don’t have to be prisoners to this behavior. There is hope. First we need to “Start with Heart.” The problem really isn’t that our behavior begins to degrade during the conversation; it’s that our motive begins to change. Instead of wanting to contribute to dialogue- to share meaning and information and even feelings- our motive changes to winning. We want the other person to agree with us at all costs. Or it may be the complete opposite. Our motive becomes getting away from the situation as quickly as possible.

Can we possibly solve this problem? Yes. We need to reengage our brain. If we can get that blood redirected from our large muscles back to our brains again, then we can think. The best way to reengage our brains is to ask a question. We need to force ourselves to think.

One question we can ask is “What do I really want here?”

Do I want to win? Do I want to save face? Do I want to humiliate this other person for making me feel like I am feeling right now? Are any of these my primary goal? Forcing yourself to think about this will allow you to focus on what you really want to achieve in your dialogue.

When we identify the emotional, physical, and behavior signs in ourselves and those we are talking with, then we know it is time to step back from the conversation and think. Some of us react with violence, but many react with silence. Both of these cases prevent dialogue. In both cases people are not participating in the free-flow of meaning between two people.

Violence can pretty easily be identified. People become controlling, start using labels, or are downright attacking. Silence can be displayed more subtly. Withdrawing is pretty obvious, but avoiding and masking are sometimes harder to spot. When we can learn to look for these behaviors in ourselves and others, we can see that safety is missing.

Safety is essential in dialogue. What if instead of feeling personally attacked or frustrated when people respond with acts of silence or violence, we instead viewed them as acts of fear? Would this affect your attitude toward others?

So the next time you find yourself in a conversation that turns crucial, remember that you don’t have to be ruled by your emotions. Take a step back and ask yourself, “What do I really want here?” If the other person is displaying behaviors that suggest they are feeling unsafe, then reestablish your purpose for dialogue and create safety.

These are skills that require practice. And the better we all become at navigating through these conversations, the better we’ll be able to share our agricultural stories.