Talking about sex, easy, right? For a lot of people within the OSU community, being a college student means entering adulthood and one thing that can come along with that is sex becoming a more common presence within life. However, that isn’t the case for all of us. You may be waiting, not planning on ever having sex, or just haven’t found the right person. Even if sex is a part of your life, that doesn’t mean that talking about it is easy. The thing is sex is taught as something very taboo. In most high schools, it’s often shown as something holding a lot of risk and isn’t spoken about openly, even by the educators meant to provide you with information on the topic. Sex is a normal part of life and something that we can take part in turning the tide on. You may already be speaking with your friends and those within your close circles about it, which is fantastic! If you aren’t or already are and are just curious to learn more, here are some reasons why making sex a topic of conversation can make your sex life better and create a safer environment for our whole community.
- Removing the stigma and the fear associated with the topic. As mentioned before, there is a massive stigma around sex in many areas of the world, including central Ohio. To not speak about such a major topic not only prevents us from learning from others, but also creates a sense of inability to ask for help or clarification. When we feel comfortable hearing about a topic, we’re much more likely to feel comfortable speaking on it as well. It’s, definitely, something worth figuring out the answers to.
- Talking about sex makes us more in tune with what is and is not ok. If we’re able to speak to those around us about sex, we’re able to learn from them. Not all knowledge can be found on JStor, and your friends can help you work out grey areas of what you might be wondering regarding boundaries when it comes to sexual acts. This can be important so that you’re able to tell your partner(s) what is or is not ok, as well as making you more understanding when your partner gives you their boundaries.
- Provides New Ideas for What You Might Like Consent and making sure that we’re holding ourselves and others accountable for our acts is a major aspect of having conversations on relationships and sexual interactions. However, it can also help us figure out what sounds like a good time. Maybe your friend has had an amazing experience in the bedroom (legally) incorporating a Lime scooter. You’ll never know if that sounds like something you want to try without hearing about. If you know someone who’s tried something that you’ve been curious about, talking about their experience may lead you to a new way to liven up the bedroom, dorm, or Honda Civic!
- Improves Your Ability to Communicate with Your Partners Destigmatizing the discussion of sex is an empowering thing, giving us the ability to bring up sex without feeling like it’s wrong. It’s essential to have good communication in a relationship, and, definitely, when engaging in sexual acts. A sexual act doesn’t have one definition, it tends to shift from person to person, so establishing boundaries with your partner and figuring out what each of you like means a safer experience, and one that can be more beneficial and enjoyable for all parties involved!
- Makes You Think Nobody wants to give a presentation on a topic without even knowing the topic ahead of time, it’s easy to have a hard time putting all of your thoughts together on the spot. In a similar way, it’s useful to have your mind made up or at least know the implications and importance of what your boundaries are. Even if you aren’t in a long-term relationship with someone, you should be able to let them know what works and doesn’t work for you, and vice versa.
- Speaking Up Returning to the importance of destigmatizing conversations, feeling comfortable with this topic gives us a chance to speak up when something is wrong. Whether that’s responding to something inappropriate that someone says in conversation or stepping in when an interaction that you’re seeing just looks off, feeling familiar with this topic makes us all allies to one another and provides us with the power to create a safer community on campus and when we go out into the world.
We’re constantly being exposed to new ideas and it’s a great idea to take control of that and pursue your own knowledge, foster the spread of it within your groups, and help to create an environment where people feel empowered to speak up for themselves and others.
-Molly Teller, Wellness Ambassador for the Student Wellness Center