1.‘The Right Person’
Myth: The Right Person comes along and knows exactly what you want. They just get it. Without you verbalizing anything, the Right Person instinctively respects all your boundaries, fulfills all your fantasies, and is the perfect partner.
Reality: Great relationships don’t happen because two mindreaders end up together. There is no realistic way that a person can be expected to already know everything you want, unless you tell them. Absolutely – some people are naturally better suited for each other, or have an easier time understanding each other’s values. But no two people are exactly alike, and no two people’s fantasized Right Person are exactly alike either. Communicating what you need in a relationship is key. A well-intentioned person who genuinely wants to learn more about you and your needs might not be the magically effortless Right Person, but they can do all the things the Right Person would if you’re willing to tell them what you want.
2. ‘The Knight/Princess/Fairytale Character’
Myth: Romantic love is a fantastical adventure in which someone is rescued, a great adventure is had, and the protagonists live happily ever after.
Reality: Sometimes there will be real life love stories that make you feel swept away into a movie, and those are fun and exciting! But the recipe for a great love story is not the same as the recipe for a great relationship. Excitement, chemistry, and dragons make for an awesome beginning – but basing what you want in a relationship off what you want in a story is forgetting that you will still be living, growing, and changing through your ‘happily ever after’. Take a moment to think about your relationship expectations – are they grounded in real-life experiences, or do they sound more like a fairy tale?
3. ‘The Other Half’
Myth: It is normal to spend your whole life feeling like a piece of your heart is missing. You’ll find that piece when you find your Other Half. They complete you.
Reality: You are a whole person. A relationship is made of two or more whole people. If you don’t feel complete, a romantic partner is not the permanent solution. People are often attracted to partners with differing and complementary traits that may balance their own. Relationships can help us expand our hearts and grow as people, but you will never be less of a whole person outside of a relationship than in one. If you don’t feel like a whole person, there may be some more intrapersonal work to be done.
-Hadas Marcus, Relationship Education and Violence Prevention Ambassador