How well do any of us truly understand Terms of Service (ToS) policies for the social media services we use? Be honest. Do you actually read them?? I’ll bet you don’t. I barely read them–I skim at most, and that’s on a really good day.

Well, when we just click “agree” and start posting, we have no idea what we’re agreeing to do (or not do) by using the service. Most of the time, that’s just fine. We’re using these services in the spirit of the typical, honest, clean-cut user anyway (well… most of us are), so it’s all good. We’re not going to do anything that would cause the company to sue us or hold us liable for breaking any of their rules. However, sometimes the policies in the ToS may be there to help protect us–not to protect the owners of the service. This is especially true in the case of kids using social media services.

A while back I read an article (Boyd, et al., 2011) that reports statistics on how many kids under age 13 sign up for accounts on social media services, such as Facebook, despite Terms of Service agreements that contain policies to protect these youngsters under the Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA) of 1998 (http://www.ftc.gov/ogc/coppa1.htm).  Further, the article explains that not only do many parents know about their kids using sites like Facebook, they sometimes help them set up the accounts (by letting them lie about their age)–not realizing that by ignoring Facebook’s policy on this, they are circumventing the Act that was designed to protect their kids.

Well, this is the thing…as a parent of  19 year old and 9 year old sons (I know what you’re thinking… she is either incredibly smart or incredibly stupid for having kids that far apart–I prefer to think I’m the latter :), I was dealing with the troubling quandary of how to manage my oldest son’s use of social media sites back when MySpace first became all the rave (which, by the way, looks drastically different than it did back in the day; check it out: http://www.myspace.com/). My response to finding that he had an account–realizing that I wouldn’t be able to restrict him from it anyway–was to act as if I was so intrigued by MySpace that I would like him to please, PLEASE create an account for Momma! It worked. He was happy to teach me something about which I knew nothing (or so he thought) and he friended me immediately, so now I could see what he posted and use selected opportunities as “teachable moments” to help him learn how to use the medium responsibly and safely.

Well, this worked for me. I am against censorship for various reasons–I opt instead for learning more about the media my kids are consuming and teaching them about being critical consumers of this media. Yes, it takes time. Yes, it is more work than my mom experienced back in the days of cassette tapes. And yes, it is worth it. Back in the day, when we had access to inappropriate media, my mom just took it from us and threw it away. Unless we had enough allowance money left over to by a new cassette or VHS tape, it was a wrap. That was it. This parenting technique is a no-go in today’s world of burned/bootlegged media on CD-R/DVD-R and endless sharing of computer media files. So… today’s digital parents have to be a little more strategic… and creative… and downright persistent. Brute force just isn’t gonna work. Not anymore. Further, isn’t it best for our kids that we teach them about all that exists in the world and about how to maintain a healthy mental diet anyway? Anyhoo… I digress.

Well, this is our burden, digital parents and 21st century educators. We may want to pay a little more attention to the ToS guidelines for our social media services, perhaps urge our kids to know about the agreement they are making before using the services, and help them to understand why some of those policies are there. Let’s think about why the COPPA was created and how this law serves us. Knowing more can mean doing better in this case. Give it a try–the next time you’re on Facebook, go on over to their Terms (https://www.facebook.com/legal/terms?ref=pf) and see what’s you’ve been missing.