I did my masters thesis (back in 2000) on single, black teen moms who are academically successful and I realized this weekend that this subject is one I am still highly passionate about. My colleague and I were talking over the weekend about Mayor Bloomberg and his teen pregnancy campaign. What is notable to me is the intense shaming mechanism he used in the ads. Take a look at some of them below or here: http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/bronx/bronx-councilwoman-slams-bloomberg-teen-pregnancy-ads-article-1.1297703

I am a teen mom (pregnant at 19) who is the daughter of a teen mom (she had me at 17) and sister to a teen mom (pregnant at 18) and friends with many other teen moms, who ALL managed to finish high school and college–and many even got masters and doctoral degrees (My mom teaches at SUNY Oswego, for example). So, though I would NEVER advocate having a baby as a teen, I damned sure will NOT refer to teen pregnancy as pathological. Once the decision has been made to have the child, I say to young moms-to-be (as my momma said to me when I came to her for guidance at age 19 and pregnant): Carry on. Having babies doesn’t stop the show!

After telling my colleague the story of how I sat there in front of my mom feeling like a failure waiting for the boom to fall and instead, receiving the vote of confidence that truly saved my life (and the lives of my kids by giving me hope that all was NOT lost just because I was choosing to reproduce), my colleague said, “Wow you need to share that story. Start with a letter to the NY Times. I see a book in your future.”

This is what my mom said to me: “Honey, having babies is what we are supposed to do. It’s human, normal and actually a beautiful thing. It’s not our fault that our society doesn’t support normal, human behavior and has created a context that punishes us for having children by making life harder for those who choose to do it. Carry on… you can still do everything you want to in life with your babies.”

I love my mom…Thank you, Dr. Angeline Stuckey, for being the wind beneath my wings and the wings of so many other young women who chose to NOT let having kids stop them from chasing and achieving their dreams. You are a trailblazer and you have created a legacy of love and hope! <3