Hello, all!
I have been debating about writing this blog post for a long time because I could never quite decide how to write it. I considered writing a post that made no mention of COVID-19 in my own desperate attempt to ignore the elephant in the room for just a few minutes. I considered writing a post entirely about how COVID-19 has impacted the college, but then that felt like accepting the reality that I am still having trouble accepting. While the battle in my mind continues, I decided to just write something.
As you all are probably aware, OSU has transitioned to all online learning, which includes clinical rotations. The last day fourth years were all at the college was Friday, March 13, and at that time, none of us knew if we were going to return. Initially only classes were moving online and clinics were going to remain open. Several days later we learned that all of our clinic rotations as optometry students were suspended until further notice. Again, shortly after that, we got the news that clinics were suspended for the remainder of the semester. As a fourth year student, that meant we would never return to the OSUCO as students. At that point, we were all clinging to the idea of still having our graduation festivities. As you probably already know, those festivities are now postponed.
As you can imagine, each email we received during that time of uncertainty triggered all sorts of emotions. I honestly have felt this experience has been similar to a grieving process. I know every person has responded differently during this time, but for me, it has been grief. I was initially very shocked and had a hard time accepting the news. I actually would reflexively go to set my alarm for my usual time and then be reminded I had nowhere to be the next day. Every day I would just think about my patients, my attendings, my classmates, and I just wanted life to go back to normal. It was also very unsettling initially wondering if we had met the requirements to graduate.
Fortunately, all of the uncertainty regarding graduation is behind us. Dean Zadnik made a promise to us that we would have our class celebrations at some point, and she has stayed very committed to that. I have felt so fortunate to be an OSU student during these times because the president of the university has done his best to protect us while also recognizing the importance of graduation. President Drake is hosting a virtual graduation while still promising to host an in-person graduation in the future, as well.
So what did they do with us when clinic was shut down? Well, to finish out our semester as fourth year students, we transitioned to online clinic in place of seeing patients. From what I understand, our class was the first class to do fourth year rotations on the semester system rather than the quarter system. Thanks to that change, we were set to see more patients than the previous classes, so that allowed us to miss the remaining weeks of the semester and still have adequate patient encounter numbers. Even though I had seen “enough” patients to graduate, it still felt like having the rug pulled out from under me. When I learned clinic was cancelled for the remainder of the semester, the reality set it that the next patient I would see would be as a doctor rather than a student intern. I think we all had our own reaction to this thought, but ultimately we are ready. There are many doctors who graduated in the 1980s or earlier, and they graduated having never dilated a pupil! I have come to realize that graduating does not mean I am an expert and know everything there is to know about the practice of optometry for all of time. It really just means I know enough to get started, and I know how to get the information to continue learning. Optometry is a profession that continues to grow and change as medicine changes, new research comes out, state laws change, and the vision demands of society change. While this realization is intimidating, it is also exciting. It is so exciting to know there is always something new to learn.
Let me tell you, I did a lot of learning during these past few weeks of online learning. While I would have much rather been in clinic seeing patients, I found the online materials our clinic attendings developed to be very valuable. For those of us who were on our in-house rotation at the college, we had a weekly session with an attending from each clinic service, so I had a 1.5-3 hour session for binocular vision and pediatrics, low vision rehabilitation, student health center, and contact lens. We also had various assignments sprinkled throughout. The sessions consisted of literature reviews, many patient cases, and new trends or topics in the field. I actually felt it was enough material to keep me busy most days, and I enjoyed seeing my clinic attendings and classmates on zoom every day. In addition to the material presented through the college, there were a lot of additional lectures available to students and doctors free of charge given the circumstances. The American Academy of Optometry presented lectures hourly all day every day for the past month for students, which I have found to be a nice addition to the materials offered by the college. Basically, if there was a topic I wanted to learn more about, there was a lecture somewhere about it online.
While I hate that I had to write this blog about how COVID-19 impacted our time at the college, I am glad to say that the transition from clinic to online turned out better than I could have imagined. I feel I was able to fill gaps in my education and expand on areas that I had been meaning to explore more. Up next, virtual graduation!