Good morning, all! So you know how certain things just trigger your memory and put you back in a certain time of your life? This past week has been a whole lot of those triggers for me as we finish out the end of third year, and I thought I would let you in on my inner thoughts a bit.
This morning I woke up pretty early, which always puts me in a nostalgic mood. I feel like odd hours can be super meaningful experiences where everything just seems different. I feel like I take time to pay attention to things I would not normally, and this morning I caught a glimpse of a hummingbird at my back door. In case you are unfamiliar with hummingbirds, they migrate thousands of miles every year, so this little lady at my back door had probably just returned from Mexico and remembered I had a feeder. I had not put my feeder out yet, so I had to hurry up and get it out there. When this tiny creature travels all the way from Mexico to come to your back yard, you better provide! Anyways, these little hummingbirds reminded me that summer is coming. I was reflecting back to last summer when I would study outside on my patio with the hummingbirds until the only light I had left was my laptop and a citronella candle. I was determined to still enjoy summer even though it was probably the most challenging semester of optometry school. That little hummingbird reminded me where I was and where I am now. Last summer I was struggling with so much insecurity. Being in clinic the first time was a hard transition for me. It is overwhelming at first to be in an exam room by yourself with a stranger, who is counting on you to figure out why they are not seeing well, and fix the problem before the meter runs out on their car parked out front. Learning to sift through all the information the patient provides quickly, start developing differential diagnoses and their corresponding treatment plans, all while maintaining casual conversation is a real challenge. I deeply questioned whether or not I could be an optometrist last summer, and now here I am one week away from starting fourth year. I feel it is important to be transparent about my personal struggles with transitioning to clinic, so when or if you feel you are the only one struggling with insecurity, you know you are not alone. It is important for clinicians to be confident and project confidence to their patients, so while I was interiorly very insecure last summer, I had to keep my composure with the patient. I wish I could tell you there is a magic way to speed up the discomfort with the learning curve, but there really is not. The only way to get through those times is to just keep believing that someday you will get it. You have to set realistic expectations for yourself and know that you are not going to be perfect and that there is a reason we have one whole year of just patient care as part of our education. It takes a long time to build up the trust and confidence in yourself that you can handle whatever situation comes up in the exam room. Experience is the greatest teacher.
I had a similar reflection this past week as we finished out our last week of exams. We still have one more exam on Monday for our business class, but that is obviously less stressful than something like our lasers and injections final. The only things standing between me and fourth year right now are finishing up our business plans and our business final. As I took finals this week, I could not help but recognize that I was not really stressed. Finals used to be a grueling experience. I have always studied in the practice exam rooms before taking finals because I typically leave early for the test in case there is a traffic situation. This week I was sitting in the practice exam rooms, and I realized I was just calmly reviewing my notes, mostly just looking forward to the test being over. I was still sleep deprived, but I did not feel the pressure I used to feel because I have proven to myself that I will make it. I also think boards part 1 teaches you perspective. Taking a midterm or final is literally a drop in the bucket compared to the experience of taking a test of all your knowledge of optometry school. Another advantage to finals this time around is we only had three that required a lot of studying compared to the six you have in first year.
As I mentioned in my last blog, we have been finishing up our series of lasts. This past Monday was our last day of lecture ever. You would think that this would be a day of pure bliss, but it was honestly bittersweet. I am so anxious and ready to start seeing patients and really ramping up my clinic skills in fourth year, but I am going to miss learning from brilliant people directly every day. From now on, I am largely responsible for seeking out knowledge. It will be up to me to study topics of interest or areas I need to review after clinic. It will be up to me to be sure I am asking my preceptors (doctors overseeing my work) questions. OSU is really fortunate to have such incredible professors who are our mentors, educators, and friends in some ways. Just to prove the point, this week Dr. Flom gave her send off message wishing us luck for next year, and some of my classmates began to cry. We are so fortunate to have such a close community that we are sad to leave our last lecture! We took the traditional last day of class photo, of course. It is so hard to understand that after we take our final Monday, we will never all be in one room again until graduation.
In the spirit of looking back, I thought I would give a quick rundown on some of the amazing things we have learned this semester. Despite boards dominating our minds and lives for the majority of the semester, we also learned to do some pretty awesome things in our lasers and injections course! We learned how to do laser refractive surgery such as LASIK and PRK. We also learned how to do laser peripheral iridotomies (LPI) and selective laser trabeculoplasty (SLT). When I say learned, I mean we learned about it in class and actually performed the procedures. We had a couple of days in March where a full laser surgery facility set-up takes over our pre-clinic, and we performed LASIK and PRK on pig eyes. We also learned how to do sutures and injections. These are currently procedures that are not within our scope of practice in Ohio, but they are in Kentucky and a few other states. We are always taught to be prepared for the highest scope of practice and to be prepared for changes in our scope in the future potentially. In our low vision course we had the opportunity to get a crash course on mobility from the instructors at the Ohio State School for the Blind. We experienced walking with a long white cane down stairs and around the college. We also had an assignment to wear goggles simulating low vision during our daily life, which required us to do a community activity while wearing the goggles to better understand what can be challenging about the social, emotional, and visual aspects of low vision. Lastly, in our business class, we learned how to decide whether or not to be a provider for different insurance programs, how to determine the value of a practice, and many other valuable things. It has been a really great semester.
I titled this blog, “Time to look up!” because I feel spring is a good reminder to lift your head up every once in awhile. I have always lived in Ohio, and I have always enjoyed the four seasons because each season reminds you to stop and think about where you were, are, and where you are going. I find the seasons to be landmarks for reflection. This past week, I walked out of clinic, and I looked up and realized there were baby leaves on the trees! I asked my classmate, “How long have the leaves been out?!” I seriously questioned my sanity given that I had not even noticed the leaves had started, but on my drive home I realized that the leaves had not actually started coming out at my house. Yes, I live far enough away from the college that the leaves are on a different schedule…Anyways, it was good reality check for me to make sure to lift my head up every once in awhile. Sometimes optometry school is so busy you just forget to pick your head up and take in the moment. I feel like I have spent the past three years living for the next test, practical, or proficiency on the horizon, and I suddenly lifted my head to realize that is all behind me. I actually cleaned my locker out last night after my last day in the primary vision care clinic. The next time I pull out my equipment will be on my first day of my summer externship. I have absolutely no idea what the next year of life will really be like, and I am completely fine with that. I am so excited to see what the next year brings knowing full well I may have moments like last summer where I question myself and feel overwhelmed. I know in the end, I will make it through. Next year when I lift my head up to see the first leaves on the trees, I will be trading in my short white student coat for the real doctor coat. And on that note, a little early congratulations to the first years on finishing your first year, and you will have your white coat soon! Congratulations second years on passing your final proficiency and taking probably some of the hardest classes of optometry school! Congratulations third years on finishing part 1 of boards and getting through classes! Huge congratulations to the fourth years for graduating optometry school (in a week)!
P.S. If you want to see photos of these various things I talked about and all these upcoming exciting events, check out the OSU College of Optometry’s social media accounts. Here is a link to their Instagram. https://www.instagram.com/ohiostateoptometry/
