Month: August 2022

Stressed is being in the weeds. Overwhelmed is being blown. 

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One of the best things about working at a university is feeling the energy and excitement of the students at the start of a new school year. Seeing all the students back on campus made me reminisce about my time in college. I remember it as such an incredible time of fun and growth, but also stress. I remember crashing at the end of each semester in utter exhaustion. The natural cadence of the semester with the breaks in between allowed a respite from stress and time to recharge. 

In some cases, we used to have a more natural ebb and flow to our work based on the academic calendar, but we have all seen the pace of change has become more constant and at time it can feel unrelenting, which can lead to burnout. 

I recently read Brene Brown’s book Atlas of the Heart where she talks about the difference between being stressed and overwhelmed. She used the example of working in a restaurant, which really resonated with me.  

“Stressed and overwhelmed remind me of two restaurant terms that my teams and I often use today: ‘in the weeds’ and ‘blown.’ Back in the day, if I walked into the kitchen and told another waiter ‘I’m in the weeds’ – the response would be, ‘What do you need?’ I might say, ‘Can you take bread to tables 2 and 4, re-tea tables 3 and 5, please?’ Being in the weeds and pulling out of the weeds happened to everyone on almost every shift. It was just part of the job, and you learned to manage it. Walking into the kitchen and saying ‘I’m blown’ – well, that’s completely different. The kitchen gets real quiet. No one asks what you need. Normally, someone runs to the hostess stand to find out what tables you’re running that shift – they don’t even assume you know at that point…When you’re blown, you can either step outside or into the cooler or go to the bathroom (and cry). Whatever you need. You’re expected to be back in ten minutes, ready to go, but for those ten minutes, there’s a complete takeover…Stressed is being in the weeds. Overwhelmed is being blown.” (Brown, 5) 

Being “in the weeds” and “blown” has happened to all of us. As leaders, and as a team, our responsibility to each other is twofold – to feel safe saying when we are in one of these states, and to be there to support our teammates when it happens, knowing they will do the same for us. 

I think it would be valuable for our individual and team health to be able to normalize this straightforward way of acknowledging that you need help. Do these resonate with you?  

Our Stories Build Connections

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Diverse group of people grasping each other's wrists to form a circle

Last week, I spent two days with my peers from the provost cabinet doing strategic planning. The sessions were facilitated by Dawan Stanford whose superpower is asking great questions.  

To prepare for our team building conversations, we were each asked to consider how we might answer the following questions:  

  1. What is an experience that shaped how you think about leadership?
  2. What kind of teamwork is required to exceed our academic plan goals?
  3. What is one quick story about a time you experienced our shared values in action?
  4. What is a quick story about a time you struggled, adapted and coped with a challenge?

The team has a lot of new members and so we are all still getting to know each other. The questions were interspersed through the sessions and allowed us to get to know each other better and practice vulnerability, generous listening and storytelling. 

Telling my core stories to others reminded me of my resilience and purpose and gave me confidence. Hearing other’s stories exposed the incredible talent and focus of my peers and made me excited to work with them.  

I came away from the retreat in awe of the talent and passion at the table, energized about the incredible opportunity in front of us, and extraordinarily grateful to be part of the team. 

How do you promote connections on your teams?

What’s Your Why?

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This weekend, I participated in my first Pelotonia ride which was such an amazing example of how to create a community around a shared purpose. Pelotonia is a fundraiser to raise money for cancer research and this was the fourteenth year of the event.

The event was so fun and energizing! Throughout the weekend, I was consistently struck by how much effort it took to orchestrate the event and how important each person was in making the event so meaningful. I was also impressed by the constant reminders of why Pelotonia mattered and its immense effect on the community.

There were hundreds of volunteers that did everything from checking people in to supplying food. In each packet, there was a wristband that was meant for each rider to give to a volunteer to thank them for their service.

Pelotonia riders committed not only to training to ride but also to raising money for cancer research. We formed a team called the IT Pedal Pushers, led by Jay Young, who stepped up to organize the team and coordinate training rides. The team aspect of the ride was really important to me and made the event much more enjoyable.

The event also featured donors who support their family and friends through monetary donations. Many of the riders had the names of people they were riding for, which was another reminder of why this event mattered.

Hundreds of police officers lined the bike route, and we made a point of saying thank you to every one of them because it made the ride so much safer and enjoyable to not have to contend with car traffic.

The most unexpected boost for me came from the people who took the time to cheer along the race route. Dave Renner kept telling me about Granville, Ohio and how it was going to be the highlight of the ride and he was right. The streets were lined with people cheering for the riders. I have done a lot of cycling events and never been cheered before. It was great!

The day after Pelotonia, I got to take part in Ohio State’s summer semester graduation, which absolutely reminded me why our work matters. We transform lives through education. It is so energizing to connect ourselves and our teams back to the purpose of our work. How do you do this for yourself and your team?

Creating a Culture of Caring

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Last week I heard from several friends who were experiencing major losses in their lives. I was grateful that they felt comfortable sharing their struggles with me so that I could support them. At work, we may not even know what individuals are going through in their personal lives, so we need to be deliberate in crafting a supportive culture.

Two ways to create a culture of caring in the workplace include making it okay to talk about personal things and giving grace to our colleagues when they are under stress.

We have implemented a few rituals on our team to create a safe space to share stories from our personal lives. The first and foundational session of our C3 (Confidence, Competence and Credibility) Leadership training starts with each participant sharing their core stories from their life. Every Friday in our stand-up meeting, we share what we are grateful for. This allows us to talk about our families and routines outside of work.

Another practice that we recently implemented at the beginning of our weekly meeting is a “what’s on your mind?” ice breaker. During the round robin, everyone gets one minute to talk about anything they’d like while everyone else listens without questioning or commenting.

Giving grace to each other is something we openly talk about on our team. “Assume positive intent” is a mantra that we use to inspire curiosity and discourage judgement when someone doesn’t meet an expectation. Giving grace to ourselves and our peers allows us to better communicate our needs to one another. When a colleague needs space to deal with personal stressors, we spread their work among other team members to lighten the individual’s load. We even have a tradition of donating vacation to colleagues who need it to take time off to care for a sick family member or themselves.

Creating a culture of care in the workplace is extremely valuable for the well-being of your team. I encourage you to try some of the practices you read in this blog with your team, or simply remember this advice from the late Robin Williams: “Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.”