leadership Training

Aspiring to be Courageous

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CC2.0 – Photo by BK – https://www.flickr.com/photos/pictoquotes/16650220071/in/photostream/


I have been on a quest to be an effective leader for decades. The journey has been one of intense learning that has been guided by many mentors, some of whom I have known personally and others that I have only known through their writing. Much of the learning has been through trial and error with lots of mistakes.
At different times in my life, I have operated as a climber, martyr, victim, and courageous leader.
Previously in my career, I was a climber. I drove projects, sold my ideas, and constantly tried to prove myself. While I got things done, I wasn’t very empathetic or tactful and I often overrode others. Through tenacity and hard work, I did get noticed and promoted. I was also under extreme stress and constantly worried about how I was being perceived.
At home, I used to be a martyr. I felt it was my job to make sure that nothing failed and I frantically raced around trying to cover all of the things that needed to get done and make everything perfect. I over-functioned for my family and felt exhausted and overwhelmed much of the time.
When my first marriage dissolved, I became a victim for a while and started my intense quest to figure out how to live and lead in a different way. It was during this time, that I was introduced to Brene Brown’s work on vulnerability that shifted my definition of courage and helped me clarify the kind of person and leader I want to be.
Now that I know what it feels like to be a courageous leader, I don’t want to live or lead in any other way. It is liberating and joyful when I am authentic and open and vulnerable. Even though I know this, it is still hard to be so open sometimes.
I put together a model that defines four patterns of thinking for “A Wiser Way” leadership training. The four quadrants in the model are separated by how self-focused we are, which could be labeled as ambition, and how focused we are on others, which could be labeled as service. The model was influenced by Kim Knapp’s Fear to Freedom model and Adam Grant’s book, Give and Take.
During the “A Wiser Way” training this week, I shared some of my personal stories, That was uncomfortable for me to do. I did it because I want to be a courageous leader. I am asking the Wiser Way participants to step out of their comfort zone and be vulnerable and wanted to lead by example.
My challenge to you this week is to draw on your courage and practice being open and authentic and vulnerable.

Reshaping Culture through Small Deliberate Decisions

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CC2.0 – Photo by BK - https://www.flickr.com/photos/pictoquotes/29420915701

CC2.0 – Photo by BK – https://www.flickr.com/photos/pictoquotes/29420915701


Last week, we launched “A Wiser Way” leadership training program and almost 90 people started on the journey to create a learning culture that will fuel excellence and innovation. The objective of the leadership training is to develop self-managed leaders and teams who cultivate a sense of curiosity, foster a culture of positivity, build a collaborative environment, consistently execute, hold themselves and others accountable, and lead with integrity.
More than one person has talked to me about how the training was startling because it demonstrates so thoroughly how different my leadership style and expectations are than the previous leader. I don’t think I understood until I heard these comments how disorienting it has been for people to adjust to my very different expectations in how we will do our work and interact with each other.
The training is designed to help with that adjustment and give individuals skills and practice in becoming more autonomous. As we designed the program, we made small but important decisions to reinforce the objectives of the training,
The training is not required. Requiring the training would be top down and authoritarian, which is counter to the principle of self-management. So instead of mandating the training, I invited people to participate. I talked about how excited I was about the training and thanked everyone who signed up.
The training was offered to every team member, not just managers or “high potential” employees. This sends the message that leadership is not tied to position. We expect leaders at all levels and everyone contributes to building our culture and instilling excellence. It also clearly demonstrates that every person is worth the investment and we believe everyone is capable of learning and growing.
We paired participants with peer coaches. As we assigned pairs, we deliberately chose individuals from different groups and at different levels in the organization. This reinforces the message of collaboration and gives a safe place to practice accountability with a peer. And again, it reinforces the belief that leadership is independent of organizational position and hierarchy.
We asked the group to set their own rules for the coaching cohorts. We introduced the GROW coaching model, which teaches the coach how to ask open-ended questions that allows the person they are coaching to set Goals, understand their current Reality, explore Options, and determine what they Will do. This model teaches self-management and the role of a manager or peer in encouraging self-management in others.
We chose to train a large group of people to create a common language and set of expectations. We will offer the training enough times to give every person who wants to take the training the opportunity to participate.
The feedback from the first session was incredibly positive. As we have designed and started to deliver the training, it has challenged me to be very intentional about small decisions and word choices. Something to think about this week is whether your small decisions and actions are supporting a culture of learning and excellence.
 

Spreading Freedom

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Two Women Jumping for Joy
I just finished my last week at the University of Michigan. As I contemplated what would be the most valuable thing that I could do as I was leaving, I decided to offer an intensive class that would cover concepts from the Fear to Freedom coaching that has been so impactful for me and many others who went through the program. The actual coaching program is six weeks long and that time commitment can limit the number of participants.
I had developed a one-hour class for a women’s conference at the request of a friend and taught two sessions that allowed me to refine the content. The responses from the conference participants were incredible. One of the women who attended told me it was life-changing and had fundamentally changed the way she thought of taking care of herself. She said that even her unconscious choices were now more aligned with who she wanted to be. That feedback gave me the confidence and motivation to teach the concepts more broadly. I had evidence that a one-hour investment could change someone’s life for the better.
I sent out the invitation broadly to IT professionals at the medical school, hospital, and across campus. The response was enthusiastic and we had to add an additional class to accommodate the demand. Since we wanted this to continue after I leave, April Jefferson, our culture coach, taught the classes with me.
We crammed a lot into an hour. After introducing the Fear to Freedom model, we brought in Brene Brown’s work about shame and suggested that much of our fear is about “not being enough”. We talked about Jim Loehr‘s research on the power of story and how we needed to increase our positive energy to change.
Then the real work began. We asked each participant to take seven minutes to write their current story about something they wanted to make substantial progress on in four weeks. They were instructed to write without filters. Brene Brown calls this the s*****y first draft. After the writing was finished, each participant rated their story from 0 to 10, with 0 being in complete fear and 10 being in complete freedom. We talked about what we observed and learned. Many people commented on how much they were in fear. I could relate. I used to live on the fear side. Now I visit, but have learned how to recognize that I am choosing fear and I do my best to move to freedom.
After talking about building shame resilience, we introduced the rules of writing a positive written intention and asked each person to take seven minutes to rewrite their story in past tense with the best outcome they can imagine. In every session, this was incredibly powerful. The shift in energy in the room is noticeable. The participants rated their new story on the fear to freedom scale. Almost everyone in the class moved toward freedom. Some participants described the new feeling of confidence that they could meet their challenge and were motivated to take concrete steps toward improvement.
The feedback from the class has been very positive. One incredibly talented and competent young professional told me that the timing and information were critical for her. She had always struggled with self-doubt and assumed she could “achieve” her way out of it. The class made her realize that many seemingly successful people struggle with those same feelings. She would offer evidence to the contrary when her colleagues expressed self-doubt but she wasn’t as generous with herself and kept perpetuating her own negative self story. She expressed how much the class meant to her. She and her friend were starting “The Gifts of Imperfection“ by Brene Brown to build their shame resistance and move toward freedom. This made me very happy.
My challenge for you this week is to choose something you want to change and write two stories; your current story and your new story as a positive written intention. I would love to hear about your experiences.
Here are the references from the class in case you want to read more.
Brene Brown, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead.
Brene Brown, Rising Strong
Jim Loehr, The Power of Story
Desmond and Mpho Tutu, The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World
Byron Katie and Stephen Mitchell, Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life