(Commuter Column) My Friend, My Lover: The Parking Lot

I miss you so much. I took for granted all of the things we used to do together. When I think about all of the experiences I won’t have with you anymore…. I just… I just can’t take it.

You won’t be there for me to put my deodorant on right before going into class.

You won’t be there for me to angrily listen to ODB in my car.

You won’t be there for me to eat awkwardly, large pieces of broccoli in my car (only to be looked over at mid-hamster face with the butt end of a broccoli floret hanging out of my mouth).

You won’t be there for me to spill my morning coffee on myself.

You won’t be there for me to talk back to the NPR segments. I get really excited. Okay?

You won’t be there for me to cancel, reschedule, cancel and then reschedule the same appointment 10 times because I NEED to go to class.

You won’t be there for me to longingly look at pictures of my cat because I miss her too much when I’m at university.

You won’t be there for me to put the seat all the way back and lay down in my car. Yes, sir, I see you staring at my double chin through the window… move along. Nothing to see here. Just a sleep deprived, dumpster person and their double chin relaxing in the car.

I thought we were a “thing.” I’m sorry I used you. It shouldn’t have been all about myself. I am so sorry. I should have seen your true beauty when I had the chance.

I just can’t do these things in the science building that took your place. It just doesn’t feel right. I don’t want to shove 5-inch broccoli florets into my mouth for a portion of the student body to see. Side note: I didn’t plan. I just cut up this huge broccoli to fit in the Tupperware container that’s all. I don’t regularly cram copious amounts of broccoli into my mouth, like some kind of monster. I didn’t think it through.

I can’t bring myself to lie down and let the passing students see my proud double chin laying on the floor or some couch. That was our thing.

I guess what I’m saying is… the science building may have taken your place on campus but it will never take your place in my heart.