10 Thoughts You Have When You Get Stuck In The Middle Seat

By: Amanda Schertzer

We have all been there before. You get on the plane look at your boarding pass and realize that you have the middle seat. CURSES!!! Or in the event that you fly southwest you are in boarding group C.

You pass by the people in first class. “Yes. Yes. Hello. Make way for the plebeian!” You pass the dude already asleep in a window seat… lucky bastard. You trip over the dude with his feet out in the isle, while people are still boarding.

Finally, you find your seat. If you’re lucky enough to have found an overhead bin to toss your carry-on in then your final step is to sit down in your middle seat. If you are on a full flight were everyone has the world’s largest carry-ons, which take up all the bin space, you are stuck with cramming your bag under the seat in front of you. This, my friend, is the worst. You are in the middle seat with an even smaller amount of leg room. Now if you just added a couple dozen screaming babies, political debates, and serial wet-coughers this is the flight from hell.

You sit down in your middle seat and inspect the situation. Common airplane curtesy is to let the middle person have an arm rest to place their forearm on. But this curtesy is not always extended and you are stuck in the middle with your hands crossed on your lap.


In this situation, my mind tends to drift. Here are just a few thoughts you might have from the middle seat.


1. You think about how long the flight is and then promptly converting it into minute.

You wonder if you can count down the seconds to minutes and then minutes to seconds till you are there. But that is almost as torturous as having the middle seat. So you promptly move on.

2. Wondering what your friends who are not in the sky are doing.

They’re probably eating pizza rolls and watching Netflix while i’m here stuck in between the two most annoying human beings to fly the planet.

3. Wondering how many people have touched the in-flight magazine.

And is it possible to get Hep-C from a magazine.

4.I wasn’t sure it was possible to have this much flatulence in a 6 hour span.

Wow, sir. Please use the restroom. It seems that something is brewing in there.

5. Cough in my direction one more time.

I dare you.

6. I wonder what flights were like in the 60’s.

You could smoke on airplanes. What else could you do? Bring pre-cooked crab legs and crack them open mid-flight?

7. I wonder if we auto tuned that crying baby and added a catchy line or two if top 40 radio stations would play it.

Watch out Jason Derulo, the baby in 35B is coming for you.

8. If I were to poop my pants on this flight right how would I handle it?

Do I just ditch my underwear? And if so, where?

9. Is this how it feels to NOT chew 5 Gum?

10. Is this woman reading 50 Shades of Grey right next to me?

What are the 50 shades? I feel like after the first 5 shades you get the idea. Why 50? How many shades of Grey do you need?

A Note from Your Friendly Neighborhood College Senior

Dear Freshmen (and pretty much every other year, too, as this pertains to all of you!) —

The thing about commuter campuses is that you meet a ton of people who come and go. The ultimate goal for these students is to get their GEs done and move on to bigger things on a bigger campus. We’ll call them Movers. Now, there are other people, like myself, who decide to stay on the regional campuses to finish their degrees. We’ll call them Stickers.

The very first thing I noticed when attending OSUM my freshmen year in 2013 was that no one really wanted to build a legitimate friendship. It bummed me out because I was here almost all day, every day, and when you have no one to talk to, it sucks. It sucks bad. I’m a Sticker, so most everyone moved on after the first or second year, and a lot of people didn’t see the point in making friends with someone who wasn’t joining them in Columbus. It was probably one of the hardest first years of my entire time in any form of school — like, harder than that one time I decided to switch schools for 7th grade. That’s saying something.

Adults have a hard time making friends in this sort of situation; some people might think it sounds weird to say, but it’s really not. Whether you have social anxiety or you’re a straight up people person, it can be difficult to adjust to a new place, new lifestyle, and new people. It’s a bit overwhelming, but don’t sweat it. Don’t be afraid to make friends. Even if you’re a Mover, there is nothing wrong with chatting up the Sticker sitting next to you in your Spanish class. Or, as a Sticker, don’t feel left out if you’re the only student in your Pre-Calc class who isn’t switching campuses. Some of my best friends are moving on to Columbus campus, but I don’t let that bother me at all, because they are here currently and its their companionship and support in this very moment that matters.

Don’t isolate yourselves; we are human beings, a species that isn’t made to be left alone or to live in seclusion. Only in groups do we succeed. From the support, constructive criticisms, and aid from others, we become the best person that we can be. Put your happiness first. No, I’m not a motivational poster.

I’m just telling it to you straight.

Ode to Spring Break by Christy Horton

Ode to Spring Break
By Christy Horton
Hail to thee, you glorious bastard
Here’s to the nights I spent getting plastered
Exotic locales and destinations
Living out all our inclinations
Bless the speedos and bikinis
3am dining, eating Panini’s
Goodbye to all the broken hearts
The smoke-filled bars and shooting darts
Late night bonfires on the beach
The R & R between the sheets
Hello to homework and essay tests
Living on less than four hours rest
Long walks to that back parking lot
Back to the daily battle we fought
We will not forget the fun you gave
We’ll take those secrets to our grave
What happens on break, stays in break
An oath we all must swear to take
We won’t mention that stripper pole
The hangovers, hugging toilet bowls
Or That skanky girl who fell down the stairs
And showed everyone her underwear
If they ask we will have to say
We spent our time like any day
We will simply smile and play along
Say it was fun, but didn’t last long
We spent our days working ahead
And spending lots of time in bed
No, we didn’t commit and crimes
We didn’t party that entire time
We didn’t hook up with any strangers
Or put ourselves in any danger
We didn’t dance on the bar
Or throw up all over the side of the car
Hail spring break, it went so fast
But Fear not, for it is not the last
There’ll be plenty of time for more tan lines
For making memories and feelin’ fine
Enjoying life with all our friends
And wishing it will never end…

Morgan DeWitt’s Inspirational Journey to the Inauguration by By Christy Horton

OSU Marion sophomore Morgan Dewitt has endured a whirlwind ride through the world of politics over the past year. Her inspirational journey began with an article she posted to the Odyssey titled “Why I’m A College Student Voting For Donald Trump,” which thrust her into the national spotlight, sparked countless debates, and painted her name across headlines from coast to coast. After her article received over 112,000 shares on social media, a storm of both praise and backlash, and an interview on national television with Lester Holt, Morgan’s wild ride concluded in our nation’s capital with an invitation from Senator Portman and Representative Jim Jordan to travel to Washington D.C. for the inauguration of President Donald Trump.


During her trip to the capital Morgan was able to find the time to do a plethora of amazing things. She drove all night with her mom to make it in time to speak with Senator Portman during a breakfast at the Russell Senate Building. In addition, Morgan got to witness the Woman’s March and visit famous places and exhibits, including the First Lady exhibit that featured the dress Mary Washington wore to her husband’s inauguration.


According to Morgan the most memorable moment during her incredible trip wasn’t sightseeing at places such as the Supreme Court, Chinatown, or the Smithsonian, nor was it the famous faces she encountered at the National Mall, instead Morgan said the performance of the national anthem had the greatest impact on her. Morgan said, “It brought tears to my eyes because I was so thankful to be at an event where we aren’t celebrating a party but just democracy. I am forever grateful to grow up in a country where everyone is free to express their opinion!”


When asked if any of Trump’s words inspired her Morgan answered, “My favorite quote from the speech was ‘When America is united we are unstoppable.’“ She went on to say, “With how divided our country is right now I feel like this is really important and has also proven to be true. I hope that the new President will learn, respect all people, and be a president for everyone during his time in office.”


Despite the hateful remarks, personal insults, and obscene comments that were made by some readers in response to her article, Morgan exercised her freedom of speech and used her voice to express her opinion, demonstrating the power of democracy and setting an example for us all, regardless of our political associations. Morgan has returned to Marion inspired and optimistic for the future. Morgan plans to continue her participation and passion for politics as she has been selected for the coveted Washington Academic Internship Program and will be a John Glenn Fellow. She will be spending her summer studying in Washington and certainly has a bright future ahead of her.

Valentines Day for Us Lonely People

The dreaded day is nearly upon us…V-Day. If you’re perpetually single like me, you probably think of it as just another day. The only difference is people look at you with sad eyes when you tell them you have no plans. And you see a lot of people kissing and mild groping. Seriously couples, do you have to be so lovey-dovey all the damn time? I can’t keep walking around with a barf bag, it doesn’t fit my aesthetic.

If you are single, don’t worry because I’ve got your back! Here are some things you can do while all your friends go on awesome dates!

  1. Netflix and No Chill. Watch a Rom-Com or a Horror, depending on your mood.
  2. Avoid Fifty Shades of Grey. That’s my advice year round.
  3. Eat copious amounts of chocolate from those fancy heart boxes. Unless you’re allergic to dairy, but I’m pretty sure you can still eat dark chocolate so HEY-O.
  4. Go out with friends. Here’s your reason to drown your sorrows with alcohol!
  5. Don’t be afraid to hang out with your family. Mom needs to feel loved today too!
  6. AVOID DATING SITES AT ALL COSTS. I cannot stress this point enough. You’re vulnerable and kinda desperate, this is not the time to go searching for love.
  7.  Throw an anti-Valentine’s Day party. If Jessica Biel and Jennifer Garner can do it in the movie appropriately called Valentine’s Day, then you can too.
  8. Cry it out. R.E.M.’s “Everybody Hurts” plays in the background.
  9. Realize you don’t need anyone to validate you. Cue Kelly Clarkson’s “Miss Independent.” (Can also be changed to “Mr. Independent”).
  10. Do your homework! Yeah…I didn’t think so either. This isn’t the day to start kidding ourselves.

I hope these helped and if not, sorry about it.

Words from a College Senior

There are plenty of questions that I had upon entering college: What classes do I need to take? What can I do with my major? How am I going to afford all of this? What’s the damn point of it all?

Truth is, even now that I’m forcing the last semester I need down my throat, I still have questions. Some have just morphed into others.

One thing I hear a lot, as an upperclassman and also as someone who works in the student industry is: I don’t know what I want to major in.

Good! Nobody really knows what they want to do when they first start college anyway. When I started back in 2013, I thought I was dead-set on majoring in English and eventually becoming a teacher. As the semesters passed, and I was trying to force all of my Gen Eds into a couple semesters in the hopes to move on to the classes required by my field, I realized I wanted to do so much more than what I declared.

I wanted to be an American Sign Language Interpreter.

I wanted to study criminal psychology.

I wanted to learn about mythology.

I wanted to explore the world of classical art.

I still want to do all of those things, but I’m limiting myself; because if I had the opportunity to, I would double major and minor, and I’d be here forever. My point is that it’s okay to want more than one thing. Some people go into a field that will make them the most money, others go into something because it’s been in their family for generations, and then some people major in things because they have a curiosity about them, or a sense of devotion to that subject. Maybe it’s none of these, or maybe it’s a combination of all of them, but that should in no way make you uneasy.

My opinion? If you don’t know what you want, then get a taste of everything. Go as undeclared for a couple of semesters and take some classes that sound fun. Figure out what you want or need and then go from there.

Isn’t that what they say during orientation?

College is for growing. So get out there and grow.

Featured Club: Young Democrats, by Dani Miller

This month I got to sit down with the president of the Young Democrats Club here on OSUM and MTC campus, Kai Meade, to ask him some things about the club and what someone could expect to learn at one of the meetings.

Dani Miller – “Can you tell me what the goals are for the Young Democrats?”

Kai Meade – “We want to include as many people as possible. We want to get the message out about who we are and the ideas that we have. We also offer options to become active in community and to learn what the Democratic party is about.”

DM –Who is in leadership of the Young Democrats?

KM – “There’s myself, as the club President, Jared Gandelot as the Vice President, Renee Altman as our Treasurer, and Ashley Keener, in charge of Membership Outreach.”

DM – “How often do the Young Democrats meet and when?”

KM – “We meet once a month on Wednesdays from  12:30pm. We’re usually in Morrill Hall Room 200 99% of the time because it can fit everyone. Depending on the year, we could meet more often to help get ready for the election.”

DM – “If someone wanted to get involved with the Young Democrats, how would they go about that?”

KM – “We try to make our meetings as public as possible so we can get a large crowd. If you miss one of the meetings, you can contact with our leadership people. If you want to get in touch with the community, we can help you get in contact with the right people for whatever it is that you need.  If you want to get involved with politics more, we are more than willing and happy to help you do that. There’s just something for everyone with our club.”

DM – “Do the Young Democrats have any events planned?”

KM – “Planned? We have a fundraiser for the local Democratic party on March 4th if anyone wanted to come to that. As for what we’ve done so far, we participated in a protest in Bucyrus January 26th. We’re kinda in the off season right now.”

DM – “Do the Young Democrats have a mission statement?”

KM – “We just want our voices to be heard and to help everyone learn about politics.”

DM – “Who should join the Young Democrats?”

KM – “Anyone interested in politics in general. You can be a Democrat, or anyone else from a different political background. We welcome everyone at our meetings.”

DM – “Do the Young Democrats have any big accomplishments?

KM – “We had a book drive on campus partnered with Let’s Read 20 here in Marion. You may have seen the boxes and bins spread around campus to collect the books. They looked like the little yellow school buses. Because of that drive, we were able to collect 350 books for kids in our community.”

DM – “Do you know how long has there been a Young Democrats club here on campus?”

KM – “Umm, I can’t be too certain of that. I want to say sometime in the Fall of 2015, maybe even 2014.”

DM – “Is there anything else you would like the students to know?”

KM – “Even though it isn’t election time, we still need people and for them to be as involved as possible in politics. Just stop by one of our meetings and see what we have to offer. Our door is always open.”

If you would like to know more about the Young Democrats, you can contact Kai Meade, Jared Gandelot, Whitney Franklin, or Professor Nathan Wallace via their Ohio State University E-Mail, which can be found through the directory.

20 Things I Could be Doing with the Time I Spend Commuting to School

20 Things I Could be Doing with the Time I Spend Commuting to School:

The vast majority of students at The Ohio State University at Marion do not live in Marion. We are the commuter students. You know us. We look like zombies rolling out of our vehicles at 8 am after an hour long commute. We can’t just effortlessly jog across campus to class. We have to wake up, down a caffeinated beverage, pray to Saint Jesús Malverde, get in our car and drive.

Do you ever wonder what you could be doing with the time you spend commuting? Well, I did. Here are 20 Things I Could be Doing with the Time I Spend Commuting to School.

1. Learning how to breakdance
2. Spitting some sick rhymes.
3. Making that scratch scrilla.
4. Getting the band back together.
5. Making a list of my Top 5. Incase I am transported back to 2002 and need a cellphone plan with AT&T.
6. Making a list of my top 10. Incase I want to let it be known who I am truly friends with on MySpace.
7. Making a MySpace.
8. Deleting a MySpace.
9. Wondering who still uses MySpace.
10. Practicing Parkour.
11. Hurting myself while practicing Parkour.
12. Planking.
13. Learning about Victorian Womanhood.
14. Hating Victorian Womanhood.
15. Eating out of the garbage.
16. Getting into essential oils with the money I saved from eating out of the garbage.
17. Searching symptoms on WebMD.
18. Convincing myself I have an anorectal fistula.
19. Giving myself a coffee enema.
20. Immediately regretting giving myself a coffee enema.

Featured Student: Chris Ward (By Morgan DeWitt)

  1. Name and major? Chris Ward and Operations Management.
  2. What do you love the most about OSU Marion? “I really  enjoy the small class sizes and the professors. You get a more personal experience in class and the fact that it’s cheaper is also a perk.”
  3. Do you have any particular class or professor that you enjoyed the most? “English 2367.01 (Secondary English) with Amy Tibbles. The class was easy going and we did a lot of cool projects. My favorite was the “giving back project” We  had the chance to give back to the community in Marion. I went to a church and served meals to the homeless the day after Thanksgiving.”
  4. Tell us about your unique job. “I am an intern at a consulting firm in the construction industry. I help set up projects in the office and I also travel in the company aircraft. We conduct inspections internationally.”
  5. Do you have a favorite pilot? “Bob Hoover. He was a famous test research pilot in the 1940’s. He was a fighter pilot in War World II and was shot down and captured by the Germans. A few weeks before WWII ended he escaped the prison camp and stole an enemy aircraft and flew to safety. He worked as a test pilot in the late 1940’s and early 50’s and on monumental aviation projects. He worked on the project that Chuck Yeager famously broke the sound barrier and he was the backup pilot for the mission. He also flew in air shows while working for a major aircraft manufacturer. He is known as the  “Father of Modern aerobatics” and Jimmy Doolittle described him as the “greatest stick and rudder man who have ever lived.” I admire him because he’s the pilot I want to become and the professional I want to be.  I want to strive to be “Bob Hoover smooth” along with a lot of other pilots. If you can be “Bob Hoover smooth” you can be the best pilot.”
  6. Who is your biggest role model? “My parents because they have made me the person I am today. They taught me to dream and shoot big. They’ve put themselves aside in order to help me achieve my goals.”
  7. How did you discover your love for flying? I was raised around it. My dad has always loved the thought of aviation. He would take us to the airport to watch planes fly and we had frequent visits to the United States Air Force museum in Dayton.  We always caught the EAA Young Eagles when they were in town and we could sign up for a free ride. I had all things aviation while I was growing up: model airplanes, a flight simulator, books. I could turn every cardboard box into an airplane. It’s all I’ve  ever cared about and it’s always consumed me.
  8. How does it feel when your up in the air? It feels freeing. It’s relaxing but at the same time it’s exciting. If you actually think about what you are doing it’s pretty crazy. It’s a very personal thing, it’s between you and your machine. I have to use combination of all of my training.”
  9. Biggest challenge? Not letting circumstances or opinions influence what I want to do and sticking to my guns, keeping my eyes on the prize, and never compromise for anything I wanted to do.  I had to make a lot of sacrifices to do what I love. I had to make money to fly, stay out of trouble, and stay in the nights before I’d be at the airport, everything I do is just to fly”
  10. Future plans? “After I graduate college, I would like to fly in the air force.  After that, I’d like to use aviation to help with my business ventures and keep my family connected.”
  11. Best accomplishment? I was a member of the Civil Air Patrol and attended a week long encampment at the Youngstown Air Reserve Station. My flight (15 cadets out of 100) graduated honor flight for the entire encampment because we scored the highest marks in drill and ceremonies, inspections, academic testing, and physical training. We were really proud.
  12. Quote or verse you live by? “””You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.-Wayne Gretzky”-Michael Scott”-Chris Ward”
  13. Advice for other students? Find what you love to do and chase it. Don’t let others opinions influence your decisions.”
  14. What’s your definition of passion? “Having the same excitement for something every time you do it, it shapes who you are and guides your goals.”

The Obamascare by Max Michel

The stigma around the affordable care act has reached an all-time high. With its demise beginning after Barracks first term, thanks to rising premiums; to the rehashing of old economic and philosophical principles; to the campaign promise of repeal and replace. Obamacare is on the forefront of even the least politically involved adult that must interact with the healthcare market. Market? What is a market? How does one ‘Economics’? With the way democrats talk about Obamacare, one would think that they know the answer and that the answer is a solid science- A law per say. However, Dems fail to recognize that economics is a soft science. Markets consist of people and economics is the study of what they do within the market; and what is the number one consistent principle about human beings? We are always changing. Always adapting. This is exactly what the slow bureaucracy of Obamacare fails to recognize. Some would even say that it’s something they recognized but just didn’t care to take into consideration because Democrats wanted a reason to move towards a single payer system with Clinton, and eventually Sanders; but that’s a political conspiracy for another time. For now, I will simply present 5 reasons to fully repeal and replace.

  1. There are over 10,000,000 people in the individual market that get no ACA tax payer subsidies. This is absurd seeing how the point of Obamacare was to force the top 1% in America (roughly 4 million people) to pay for the bottom half of all income earners. So, that’s about 6,000,000 people that are getting the shortest end of the stick.
  2. In 2017 the average deductible for an individual will have increased by 25% in the 39 states using healthcare.gov. The average deductible for the, “Bronze plans” is $6,000. That’s supposed to be the cheapest plan. Guess not.
  3. End all, be all? Obamacare will end up needing $1,058,000,000,000 in tax hikes. Yes, that’s a TRILLION dollars.
  4. For 2016, the congressional budget office estimated that Obamacare would need 21,000,000 enrollees for the ACA to remain stable. That number ended at 13,000,000.
  5. Obamacare is straight up theft. There is no other way to put it. The govt is the biggest gun in America and its been used to force you to buy and sell services. How would you feel if McDonalds, a huge corporation, forced you to buy big macs every day? you’d be outraged! you’d call for govt intervention! You’d seek to stop this step towards corporatism. So, what happens when it’s the supposed protector oppressing you?