This is more going to be my underclassman experience in review, since after all freshman year is long gone and to comment on it now as a completely different person. My look on it now is much different as I learned more about myself through sophomore year and looked at events in my freshman year differently. I was supposed to do this last year but, I did not. Such is life. We will knock out two birds with one stone since, if I were to have done a post like this a year ago, I would probably look back on it thinking about how generally clueless I was freshman year. So, here we go.

The first two years of undergrad were… hard… to say the least. Coming out of sophomore, I am a much different person than the 18 year old coming in. It seemed that everything that could happen, did happen in a bad sense. And as a result, I struggled. A lot. But through all of the bad stuff that happened, there was so much more good in my life that made up for the fact that it seemed like my collegiate world was falling apart around me. I built great friendships, some of which were there for a season and a reason. While others I see lasting for a lifetime. I had great experiences that no other college could provide me with. And I was cognitively pushed more than I thought I would ever be. I found a major that, through its flaws, I love and can truly care about. These first two years taught me perseverance in the most raw way, pushing through bad days and classes that seemed impossible to get through.

Speaking specifically on freshman year, I was nothing compared to sophomore year. Little did I know, the struggles I went through the first year would only make me more strong for second year. I specifically learned to stand up for myself and say NO. I learned to be kind and resilient while still standing my ground and being my own advocate. This lesson really impacted me my second year standing up to bullies. You wouldn’t think that they would still exist in college. In fact, you’d think they would be a thing of high school rather than when we are all struggling in college together. But they still exist, and they are more manipulative and scary than you would ever think. And the vivacity that I learned to harness freshman year allowed me to get past some of the toughest classes, people, and situations ever. 

But in all the pushing and clawing and kicking, these first two years also taught me about what it means to take care of yourself. Mental health was never on the forefront of my list of priorities, and quite frankly I thought I had everything under control. This was a lie that college, specifically my second year of college, only amplified. While I was coming to terms with it late fall through the summer of freshman year, sophomore year said ” let’s take this problem head-on.” And that realization has turned into a now years long learning curve that I am still learning to work with. And not every day is a win. The reality is that every day you wake up, that is your brain doing that for you. And where you are that day is where you are, as cliche as that sounds in a mental sense. It is up to you to not only realize and understand that, but to not separate yourself from reality. Instead, let it carry you through the day and make room for acknowledgement of changes in yourself and forgive yourself if you have an off day. Be the best you can be, but understand that the body that holds your spirit may not be at the same level and mindset at all times. Save space for others to understand where you are. Finally, understand that not everybody you work with on a daily basis will be at their best, and that it is up to you to navigate different brains and moods. This was something I learned through Dance 5106, where my teacher Gina emphasized this truth in an environment where you leave everything at the door and focus on  yourself only. It’s such a big lesson thats hard to put into words but I tried my best.

Every day I wake up, I know that I am where I am in life for a reason. And I am meant to be here at OSU. I’m thankful for every opportunity I get at this great school and I cannot wait for the challenges and adventures that lie ahead.

To say that this was an adventure is an understatement. And the fact of the matter is that this is only just the beginning. In just a couple of months I have made some of the greatest friends that I have ever had. I had some amazing college experiences like the football games and the adventures around the city, exploring my new home. But to say that it was easy would be a lie. College was a giant flip on my world and I had to learn how to actually “college,” so to speak. I had to navigate my way around a place that seemed HUGE and develop a new routine. Coming into college, I had never really studied before and I could easily go through school. College was a giant slap-in-the-face-reality-check. I actually had to learn how to study more effectively, and manage my time better as I realized that I couldn’t really just go with the flow. It was a giant shock because, for the first time, I found myself slightly struggling with the workload and course material. It was a problem I had never faced before and needless to say it set me back for a bit. Nevertheless, I quickly adapted and found my footing. Bio Sci Scholars also held me accountable and made sure that I actually was working hard to maintain a good GPA. Not only that, but the Bio Sci events were really fun and as a result I have made new friendships with others in this Scholars group. Overall, I’d say that it was a pretty fantastic semester, even with the little bumps in the road.