There are many social and environmental impacts of extracting diamonds and furthermore there are impacts at each stage of the diamond commodity chain. Diamonds have a strong cultural and social meaning. They are a sign of wealth and long lasting love. The larger the diamond, the higher the social status of the owner. It can also be seen as a sign of greater love or commitment between couples.
While diamonds are admired and loved by many there are a few bad social impacts such as poor working conditions, child labor, environmental impacts. While there are 6 steps in the diamond pipeline, the majority of these social and environmental impacts come during the mining of the diamonds, the most controversial step.
Diamond exploration has little effect on the environment but many companies have entered the diamond extraction industry. From equipment production to the testing of the rock itself, many people are needed to successfully explore for diamonds. At this stage in the pipeline many people are employed and this is a good thing for society.
The mining stage has the most negative impacts on society. The working conditions in most of the countries diamonds are mined in are terrible. Africa is known for having the worst working conditions as well as wages as low as $1/day for miners. Children are commonly forced into labor in Africa as well. These children experience physical and sexual abuse while being forced to produce diamonds. There is also many diseases spread among the laborers due to poor sanitation and living conditions. Diamond mining also has many detrimental impacts on the environment including soil erosion, deforestation, and ecosystem destruction.
A major political effect of the diamond commodity chain, specifically at the mining level is blood diamonds. These are diamonds that are produced in war zones to finance civil wars. It is impossible to track the origin of diamonds, thus in 2003 the Kimberly Process was created. This process is carried out by the manufactures and it is a way to ensure the diamonds are not blood diamonds. Each diamond is given a certificate to prove its origin. Since its implementation the world’s diamond supply is certified as 99% conflict free.
Though mining has many negative impacts on society, the process has been highly regulated as of late and diamonds do provide many benefits to the countries in which diamonds are found and mined. The biggest impact diamonds have on these countries is a financial one. Diamonds, specifically in the African nations, make up a huge part of their respective GDPs.
The subsequent steps, sorting, cutting and polishing, jewelry manufacturing, and retailing all have very similar impacts on society and are mainly very beneficial. The above steps in the pipeline are very global and bring wealth and jobs all over the world.
During the sorting process, diamonds are given a Kimberly Process Certificate, as mentioned above. This certificate ensures that the diamonds came from countries employing fair labor conditions as well as came from conflict free zones. This political and humanitarian initiative has helped clean up the controversial industry and has turned a once corrupted industry into a respectable one.
At the cutting and polishing stage many large cities are involved. This step has helped jump start economies such as that of Thailand as infrastructure was developed to handle the care and cutting of these precious gems. More and more countries have become involved in the earlier steps of diamond jewelry production than ever before. This step has contributed a lot of money to up and coming countries GDPs.
The further you move down the pipeline the more companies there are involved and the more jobs there are available. By the time you get to the manufacturing and retailing step, thousands of jobs are available creating and selling diamond jewelry all over the world. Companies such as Tiffany and Company employ thousands of diamond experts around the world to sell their jewelry. This creation of jobs at the manufacturing and retailing stages and subsequent rise in GDP for each country with retailers is extremely beneficial to their economy.
Diamonds while they used to bring so much hardship and destruction to extract and deliver to the consumer, now come from safe locations. The diamond trade now has so many positive effects on a global scale while before it was drenched in corruption and pain. The world has come together to make the harvesting of diamonds a prosperous industry for each and every country involved in any step of the pipeline.
I’m looking for more information.
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I can’t seem to find info I want
Disgusting
okay
Asshole.
You. Are. Disgusting.
Really going off there
bruh imagine not having one.
Poor child no diamonds, why dont u go dontae ur money to charity rather then having ur free day living a boring life
it’s my money u bozo not urs go choke a dick and talk
i have one u motherfucker asshole
no you dont i stole it
please email me
How do i site this as a source?
Not what I was looking for but I learnt something new.
This Information was very helpful 😀
nigga shut the fuqck up
Good info, try and make it more readable
yes?
no
Diamond’s aren’t forever, but boobies are 🙂
i was looking for negitive consequences on the way we use diamonds
Stop being a nerd guys go touch some grass and get some bitches. Thanks
Stfu you’re a nerd imagine commenting in a geography lesson
The mining stage has the most negative impacts on society. The working conditions in most of the countries diamonds are mined in are terrible. Africa is known for having the worst working conditions as well as wages as low as $1/day for miners. Children are commonly forced into labor in Africa as well. These children experience physical and sexual abuse while being forced to produce diamonds. There is also many diseases spread among the laborers due to poor sanitation and living conditions. Diamond mining also has many detrimental impacts on the environment including soil erosion, deforestation, and ecosystem destruction.
A major political effect of the diamond commodity chain, specifically at the mining level is blood diamonds. These are diamonds that are produced in war zones to finance civil wars. It is impossible to track the origin of diamonds, thus in 2003 the Kimberly Process was created. This process is carried out by the manufactures and it is a way to ensure the diamonds are not blood diamonds. Each diamond is given a certificate to prove its origin. Since its implementation the world’s diamond supply is certified as 99% conflict free.
Didn’t ask
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What’s up guys, It’s Quandale Dingle here!
using this article for science.
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cuh what these comments
i love diamonds and women
L bozo Niggas
Boobies are always here to touch-Joe bidens stripper
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Wait a minute I’m trying to spell bueutiful
Scripts.com
Bee Movie
By Jerry Seinfeld
NARRATOR:
(Black screen with text; The sound of buzzing bees can be heard)
According to all known laws
of aviation,
:
there is no way a bee
should be able to fly.
:
Its wings are too small to get
its fat little body off the ground.
:
The bee, of course, flies anyway
:
because bees don’t care
what humans think is impossible.
BARRY BENSON:
(Barry is picking out a shirt)
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
:
Ooh, black and yellow!
Let’s shake it up a little.
JANET BENSON:
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
BARRY:
Coming!
:
Hang on a second.
(Barry uses his antenna like a phone)
:
Hello?
ADAM FLAYMAN:
(Through phone)
– Barry?
BARRY:
– Adam?
ADAM:
– Can you believe this is happening?
BARRY:
– I can’t. I’ll pick you up.
(Barry flies down the stairs)
:
MARTIN BENSON:
Looking sharp.
JANET:
Use the stairs. Your father
paid good money for those.
BARRY:
Sorry. I’m excited.
MARTIN:
Here’s the graduate.
We’re very proud of you, son.
:
A perfect report card, all B’s.
JANET:
Very proud.
(Rubs Barry’s hair)
BARRY=
Ma! I got a thing going here.
JANET:
– You got lint on your fuzz.
BARRY:
– Ow! That’s me!
JANET:
– Wave to us! We’ll be in row 118,000.
– Bye!
(Barry flies out the door)
JANET:
Barry, I told you,
stop flying in the house!
(Barry drives through the hive,and is waved at by Adam who is reading a
newspaper)
BARRY==
– Hey, Adam.
ADAM:
– Hey, Barry.
(Adam gets in Barry’s car)
:
– Is that fuzz gel?
BARRY:
– A little. Special day, graduation.
ADAM:
Never thought I’d make it.
(Barry pulls away from the house and continues driving)
BARRY:
Three days grade school,
three days high school…
ADAM:
Those were awkward.
BARRY:
Three days college. I’m glad I took
a day and hitchhiked around the hive.
ADAM==
You did come back different.
(Barry and Adam pass by Artie, who is jogging)
ARTIE:
– Hi, Barry!
BARRY:
– Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.
ADAM:
– Hear about Frankie?
BARRY:
– Yeah.
ADAM==
– You going to the funeral?
BARRY:
– No, I’m not going to his funeral.
:
Everybody knows,
sting someone, you die.
:
Don’t waste it on a squirrel.
Such a hothead.
ADAM:
I guess he could have
just gotten out of the way.
(The car does a barrel roll on the loop-shaped bridge and lands on the
highway)
:
I love this incorporating
an amusement park into our regular day.
BARRY:
I guess that’s why they say we don’t need vacations.
(Barry parallel parks the car and together they fly over the graduating
students)
Boy, quite a bit of pomp…
under the circumstances.
(Barry and Adam sit down and put on their hats)
:
– Well, Adam, today we are men.
ADAM:
– We are!
BARRY=
– Bee-men.
=ADAM=
– Amen!
BARRY AND ADAM:
Hallelujah!
(Barry and Adam both have a happy spasm)
ANNOUNCER:
Students, faculty, distinguished bees,
:
please welcome Dean Buzzwell.
DEAN BUZZWELL:
Welcome, New Hive Oity
graduating class of…
:
…9:
:
That concludes our ceremonies.
:
And begins your career
at Honex Industries!
ADAM:
Will we pick our job today?
(Adam and Barry get into a tour bus)
BARRY=
I heard it’s just orientation.
(Tour buses rise out of the ground and the students are automatically
loaded into the buses)
TOUR GUIDE:
Heads up! Here we go.
ANNOUNCER:
Keep your hands and antennas
inside the tram at all times.
BARRY:
– Wonder what it’ll be like?
ADAM:
– A little scary.
TOUR GUIDE==
Welcome to Honex,
a division of Honesco
:
and a part of the Hexagon Group.
Barry:
This is it!
BARRY AND ADAM:
Wow.
BARRY:
Wow.
(The bus drives down a road an on either side are the Bee’s massive
complicated Honey-making machines)
TOUR GUIDE:
We know that you, as a bee,
have worked your whole life
:
to get to the point where you
can work for your whole life.
:
Honey begins when our valiant Pollen
Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.
:
Our top-secret formula
:
is automatically color-corrected,
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured
:
into this soothing sweet syrup
:
with its distinctive
golden glow you know as…
EVERYONE ON BUS:
Honey!
(The guide has been collecting honey into a bottle and she throws it into
the crowd on the bus and it is caught by a girl in the back)
ADAM:
– That girl was hot.
BARRY:
– She’s my cousin!
ADAM==
– She is?
BARRY:
– Yes, we’re all cousins.
ADAM:
– Right. You’re right.
TOUR GUIDE:
– At Honex, we constantly strive
:
to improve every aspect
of bee existence.
:
These bees are stress-testing
a new helmet technology.
(The bus passes by a Bee wearing a helmet who is being smashed into the
ground with fly-swatters, newspapers and boots. He lifts a thumbs up but
you can hear him groan)
:
ADAM==
– What do you think he makes?
BARRY:
– Not enough.
TOUR GUIDE:
Here we have our latest advancement,
the Krelman.
(They pass by a turning wheel with Bees standing on pegs, who are each
wearing a finger-shaped hat)
Barry:
– Wow, What does that do?
TOUR GUIDE:
– Catches that little strand of honey
:
that hangs after you pour it.
Saves us millions.
ADAM:
(Intrigued)
Can anyone work on the Krelman?
TOUR GUIDE:
Of course. Most bee jobs are
small ones.
But bees know that every small job,
if it’s done well, means a lot.
:
But choose carefully
:
because you’ll stay in the job
you pick for the rest of your life.
(Everyone claps except for Barry)
BARRY:
The same job the rest of your life?
I didn’t know that.
ADAM:
What’s the difference?
TOUR GUIDE:
You’ll be happy to know that bees,
as a species, haven’t had one day off
:
in 27 million years.
BARRY:
(Upset)
So you’ll just work us to death?
:
We’ll sure try.
(Everyone on the bus laughs except Barry. Barry and Adam are walking back
home together)
ADAM:
Wow! That blew my mind!
BARRY:
“What’s the difference?”
How can you say that?
:
One job forever?
That’s an insane choice to have to make.
ADAM:
I’m relieved. Now we only have
to make one decision in life.
BARRY:
But, Adam, how could they
never have told us that?
ADAM:
Why would you question anything?
We’re bees.
:
We’re the most perfectly
functioning society on Earth.
BARRY:
You ever think maybe things
work a little too well here?
ADAM:
Like what? Give me one example.
(Barry and Adam stop walking and it is revealed to the audience that
hundreds of cars are speeding by and narrowly missing them in perfect
unison)
BARRY:
I don’t know. But you know
what I’m talking about.
ANNOUNCER:
Please clear the gate.
Royal Nectar Force on approach.
BARRY:
Wait a second. Check it out.
(The Pollen jocks fly in, circle around and landing in line)
:
– Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!
ADAM:
– Wow.
:
I’ve never seen them this close.
BARRY:
They know what it’s like
outside the hive.
ADAM:
Yeah, but some don’t come back.
GIRL BEES:
– Hey, Jocks!
– Hi, Jocks!
(The Pollen Jocks hook up their backpacks to machines that pump the nectar
to trucks, which drive away)
LOU LO DUVA:
You guys did great!
:
You’re monsters!
You’re sky freaks!
I love it!
(Punching the Pollen Jocks in joy)
I love it!
ADAM:
– I wonder where they were.
BARRY:
– I don’t know.
:
Their day’s not planned.
:
Outside the hive, flying who knows
where, doing who knows what.
:
You can’t just decide to be a Pollen
Jock. You have to be bred for that.
ADAM==
Right.
(Barry and Adam are covered in some pollen that floated off of the Pollen
Jocks)
BARRY:
Look at that. That’s more pollen
than you and I will see in a lifetime.
ADAM:
It’s just a status symbol.
Bees make too much of it.
BARRY:
Perhaps. Unless you’re wearing it
and the ladies see you wearing it.
(Barry waves at 2 girls standing a little away from them)
ADAM==
Those ladies?
Aren’t they our cousins too?
BARRY:
Distant. Distant.
POLLEN JOCK #1:
Look at these two.
POLLEN JOCK #2:
– Couple of Hive Harrys.
POLLEN JOCK #1:
– Let’s have fun with them.
GIRL BEE #1:
It must be dangerous
being a Pollen Jock.
BARRY:
Yeah. Once a bear pinned me
against a mushroom!
:
He had a paw on my throat,
and with the other, he was slapping me!
(Slaps Adam with his hand to represent his scenario)
GIRL BEE #2:
– Oh, my!
BARRY:
– I never thought I’d knock him out.
GIRL BEE #1:
(Looking at Adam)
What were you doing during this?
ADAM:
Obviously I was trying to alert the authorities.
BARRY:
I can autograph that.
(The pollen jocks walk up to Barry and Adam, they pretend that Barry and
Adam really are pollen jocks.)
POLLEN JOCK #1:
A little gusty out there today,
wasn’t it, comrades?
BARRY:
Yeah. Gusty.
POLLEN JOCK #1:
We’re hitting a sunflower patch
six miles from here tomorrow.
BARRY:
– Six miles, huh?
ADAM:
– Barry!
POLLEN JOCK #2:
A puddle jump for us,
but maybe you’re not up for it.
BARRY:
– Maybe I am.
ADAM:
– You are not!
POLLEN JOCK #1:
We’re going 0900 at J-Gate.
:
What do you think, buzzy-boy?
Are you bee enough?
BARRY:
I might be. It all depends
on what 0900 means.
(The scene cuts to Barry looking out on the hive-city from his balcony at
night)
MARTIN:
Hey, Honex!
BARRY:
Dad, you surprised me.
MARTIN:
You decide what you’re interested in?
BARRY:
– Well, there’s a lot of choices.
– But you only get one.
:
Do you ever get bored
doing the same job every day?
MARTIN:
Son, let me tell you about stirring.
:
You grab that stick, and you just
move it around, and you stir it around.
:
You get yourself into a rhythm.
It’s a beautiful thing.
BARRY:
You know, Dad,
the more I think about it,
:
maybe the honey field
just isn’t right for me.
MARTIN:
You were thinking of what,
making balloon animals?
:
That’s a bad job
for a guy with a stinger.
:
Janet, your son’s not sure
he wants to go into honey!
JANET:
– Barry, you are so funny sometimes.
BARRY:
– I’m not trying to be funny.
MARTIN:
You’re not funny! You’re going
into honey. Our son, the stirrer!
JANET:
– You’re gonna be a stirrer?
BARRY:
– No one’s listening to me!
MARTIN:
Wait till you see the sticks I have.
BARRY:
I could say anything right now.
I’m gonna get an ant tattoo!
(Barry’s parents don’t listen to him and continue to ramble on)
MARTIN:
Let’s open some honey and celebrate!
BARRY:
Maybe I’ll pierce my thorax.
Shave my antennae.
:
Shack up with a grasshopper. Get
a gold tooth and call everybody “dawg”!
JANET:
I’m so proud.
(The scene cuts to Barry and Adam waiting in line to get a job)
ADAM:
– We’re starting work today!
BARRY:
– Today’s the day.
ADAM:
Come on! All the good jobs
will be gone.
BARRY:
Yeah, right.
JOB LISTER:
Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring,
stirrer, front desk, hair removal…
BEE IN FRONT OF LINE:
– Is it still available?
JOB LISTER:
– Hang on. Two left!
:
One of them’s yours! Congratulations!
Step to the side.
ADAM:
– What’d you get?
BEE IN FRONT OF LINE:
– Picking crud out. Stellar!
(He walks away)
ADAM:
Wow!
JOB LISTER:
Couple of newbies?
ADAM:
Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!
JOB LISTER:
Make your choice.
(Adam and Barry look up at the job board. There are hundreds of constantly
changing panels that contain available or unavailable jobs. It looks very
confusing)
ADAM:
– You want to go first?
BARRY:
– No, you go.
ADAM:
Oh, my. What’s available?
JOB LISTER:
Restroom attendant’s open,
not for the reason you think.
ADAM:
– Any chance of getting the Krelman?
JOB LISTER:
– Sure, you’re on.
(Puts the Krelman finger-hat on Adam’s head)
(Suddenly the sign for Krelman closes out)
:
I’m sorry, the Krelman just closed out.
(Takes Adam’s hat off)
Wax monkey’s always open.
ADAM:
The Krelman opened up again.
:
What happened?
JOB LISTER:
A bee died. Makes an opening. See?
He’s dead. Another dead one.
:
Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.
:
Dead from the neck up.
Dead from the neck down. That’s life!
ADAM:
Oh, this is so hard!
(Barry remembers what the Pollen Jock offered him and he flies off)
Heating, cooling,
stunt bee, pourer, stirrer,
:
humming, inspector number seven,
lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,
:
mite wrangler. Barry, what
do you think I should… Barry?
(Adam turns around and sees Barry flying away)
:
Barry!
POLLEN JOCK:
All right, we’ve got the sunflower patch
in quadrant nine…
ADAM:
(Through phone)
What happened to you?
Where are you?
BARRY:
– I’m going out.
ADAM:
– Out? Out where?
BARRY:
– Out there.
ADAM:
– Oh, no!
BARRY:
I have to, before I go
to work for the rest of my life.
ADAM:
You’re gonna die! You’re crazy!
(Barry hangs up)
Hello?
POLLEN JOCK #2:
Another call coming in.
:
If anyone’s feeling brave,
there’s a Korean deli on 83rd
:
that gets their roses today.
BARRY:
Hey, guys.
POLLEN JOCK #1 ==
– Look at that.
POLLEN JOCK #2:
– Isn’t that the kid we saw yesterday?
LOU LO DUVA:
Hold it, son, flight deck’s restricted.
POLLEN JOCK #1:
It’s OK, Lou. We’re gonna take him up.
(Puts hand on Barry’s shoulder)
LOU LO DUVA:
(To Barry) Really? Feeling lucky, are you?
BEE WITH CLIPBOARD:
(To Barry) Sign here, here. Just initial that.
:
– Thank you.
LOU LO DUVA:
– OK.
:
You got a rain advisory today,
:
and as you all know,
bees cannot fly in rain.
:
So be careful. As always,
watch your brooms,
:
hockey sticks, dogs,
birds, bears and bats.
:
Also, I got a couple of reports
of root beer being poured on us.
:
Murphy’s in a home because of it,
babbling like a cicada!
BARRY:
– That’s awful.
LOU LO DUVA:
(Still talking through megaphone)
– And a reminder for you rookies,
:
bee law number one,
absolutely no talking to humans!
:
All right, launch positions!
POLLEN JOCKS:
(The Pollen Jocks run into formation)
:
Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz,
buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!
LOU LU DUVA:
Black and yellow!
POLLEN JOCKS:
Hello!
POLLEN JOCK #1:
(To Barry)You ready for this, hot shot?
BARRY:
Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.
POLLEN JOCK’s:
Wind, check.
:
– Antennae, check.
– Nectar pack, check.
:
– Wings, check.
– Stinger, check.
BARRY:
Scared out of my shorts, check.
LOU LO DUVA:
OK, ladies,
:
let’s move it out!
:
Pound those petunias,
you striped stem-suckers!
:
All of you, drain those flowers!
(The pollen jocks fly out of the hive)
BARRY:
Wow! I’m out!
:
I can’t believe I’m out!
:
So blue.
:
I feel so fast and free!
:
Box kite!
(Barry flies through the kite)
:
Wow!
:
Flowers!
(A pollen jock puts on some high tech goggles that shows flowers similar to
heat sink goggles.)
POLLEN JOCK:
This is Blue Leader.
We have roses visual.
:
Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.
:
Roses!
POLLEN JOCK #1:
30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.
:
Stand to the side, kid.
It’s got a bit of a kick.
(The pollen jock fires a high-tech gun at the flower, shooting tubes that
suck up the nectar from the flower and collects it into a pouch on the gun)
BARRY:
That is one nectar collector!
POLLEN JOCK #1==
– Ever see pollination up close?
BARRY:
– No, sir.
POLLEN JOCK #1:
(Barry and the Pollen jock fly over the field, the pollen jock sprinkles
pollen as he goes)
:
I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it
over here. Maybe a dash over there,
:
a pinch on that one.
See that? It’s a little bit of magic.
BARRY:
That’s amazing. Why do we do that?
POLLEN JOCK #1:
That’s pollen power. More pollen, more
flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.
BARRY:
Cool.
POLLEN JOCK #1:
I’m picking up a lot of bright yellow.
could be daisies. Don’t we need those?
POLLEN JOCK #2:
Copy that visual.
:
Wait. One of these flowers
seems to be on the move.
POLLEN JOCK #1:
Say again? You’re reporting
a moving flower?
POLLEN JOCK #2:
Affirmative.
(The Pollen jocks land near the “flowers” which, to the audience are
obviously just tennis balls)
KEN:
(In the distance) That was on the line!
POLLEN JOCK #1:
This is the coolest. What is it?
POLLEN JOCK #2:
I don’t know, but I’m loving this color.
:
It smells good.
Not like a flower, but I like it.
POLLEN JOCK #1:
Yeah, fuzzy.
(Sticks his hand on the ball but it gets stuck)
POLLEN JOCK #3==
Chemical-y.
(The pollen jock finally gets his hand free from the tennis ball)
POLLEN JOCK #1:
Careful, guys. It’s a little grabby.
(The pollen jocks turn around and see Barry lying his entire body on top of
one of the tennis balls)
POLLEN JOCK #2:
My sweet lord of bees!
POLLEN JOCK #3:
Candy-brain, get off there!
POLLEN JOCK #1:
(Pointing upwards)
Problem!
(A human hand reaches down and grabs the tennis ball that Barry is stuck
to)
BARRY:
– Guys!
POLLEN JOCK #2:
– This could be bad.
POLLEN JOCK #3:
Affirmative.
(Vanessa Bloome starts bouncing the tennis ball, not knowing Barry is stick
to it)
BARRY==
Very close.
:
Gonna hurt.
:
Mama’s little boy.
(Barry is being hit back and forth by two humans playing tennis. He is
still stuck to the ball)
POLLEN JOCK #1:
You are way out of position, rookie!
KEN:
Coming in at you like a MISSILE!
(Barry flies past the pollen jocks, still stuck to the ball)
BARRY:
(In slow motion)
Help me!
POLLEN JOCK #2:
I don’t think these are flowers.
POLLEN JOCK #3:
– Should we tell him?
POLLEN JOCK #1:
– I think he knows.
BARRY:
What is this?!
KEN:
Match point!
:
You can start packing up, honey,
because you’re about to EAT IT!
(A pollen jock coughs which confused Ken and he hits the ball the wrong way
with Barry stuck to it and it goes flying into the city)
BARRY:
Yowser!
(Barry bounces around town and gets stuck in the engine of a car. He flies
into the air conditioner and sees a bug that was frozen in there)
BARRY:
Ew, gross.
(The man driving the car turns on the air conditioner which blows Barry
into the car)
GIRL IN CAR:
There’s a bee in the car!
:
– Do something!
DAD DRIVING CAR:
– I’m driving!
BABY GIRL:
(Waving at Barry)
– Hi, bee.
(Barry smiles and waves at the baby girl)
GUY IN BACK OF CAR:
– He’s back here!
:
He’s going to sting me!
GIRL IN CAR:
Nobody move. If you don’t move,
he won’t sting you. Freeze!
(Barry freezes as well, hovering in the middle of the car)
:
GRANDMA IN CAR==
He blinked!
(The grandma whips out some bee-spray and sprays everywhere in the car,
climbing into the front seat, still trying to spray Barry)
GIRL IN CAR:
Spray him, Granny!
DAD DRIVING THE CAR:
What are you doing?!
(Barry escapes the car through the air conditioner and is flying high above
the ground, safe.)
BARRY:
Wow… the tension level
out here is unbelievable.
(Barry sees that storm clouds are gathering and he can see rain clouds
moving into this direction)
:
I gotta get home.
:
Can’t fly in rain.
:
Can’t fly in rain.
(A rain drop hits Barry and one of his wings is damaged)
:
Can’t fly in rain.
(A second rain drop hits Barry again and he spirals downwards)
Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!
(WW2 plane sound effects are played as he plummets, and he crash-lands on a
plant inside an apartment near the window)
VANESSA BLOOME:
Ken, could you close
the window please?
KEN==
Hey, check out my new resume.
I made it into a fold-out brochure.
:
You see?
(Folds brochure resume out)
Folds out.
(Ken closes the window, trapping Barry inside)
BARRY:
Oh, no. More humans. I don’t need this.
(Barry tries to fly away but smashes into the window and falls again)
:
What was that?
(Barry keeps trying to fly out the window but he keeps being knocked back
because the window is closed)
Maybe this time. This time. This time.
This time! This time! This…
:
Drapes!
(Barry taps the glass. He doesn’t understand what it is)
That is diabolical.
KEN:
It’s fantastic. It’s got all my special
skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.
ANDY:
What’s number one? Star Wars?
KEN:
Nah, I don’t go for that…
(Ken makes finger guns and makes “pew pew pew” sounds and then stops)
:
…kind of stuff.
BARRY:
No wonder we shouldn’t talk to them.
They’re out of their minds.
KEN:
When I leave a job interview, they’re
flabbergasted, can’t believe what I say.
BARRY:
(Looking at the light on the ceiling)
There’s the sun. Maybe that’s a way out.
(Starts flying towards the lightbulb)
:
I don’t remember the sun
having a big 75 on it.
(Barry hits the lightbulb and falls into the dip on the table that the
humans are sitting at)
KEN:
I predicted global warming.
:
I could feel it getting hotter.
At first I thought it was just me.
(Andy dips a chip into the bowl and scoops up some dip with Barry on it and
is about to put it in his mouth)
:
Wait! Stop! Bee!
(Andy drops the chip with Barry in fear and backs away. All the humans
freak out)
:
Stand back. These are winter boots.
(Ken has winter boots on his hands and he is about to smash the bee but
Vanessa saves him last second)
VANESSA:
Wait!
:
Don’t kill him!
(Vanessa puts Barry in a glass to protect him)
KEN:
You know I’m allergic to them!
This thing could kill me!
VANESSA:
Why does his life have
less value than yours?
KEN:
Why does his life have any less value
than mine? Is that your statement?
VANESSA:
I’m just saying all life has value. You
don’t know what he’s capable of feeling.
(Vanessa picks up Ken’s brochure and puts it under the glass so she can
carry Barry back to the window. Barry looks at Vanessa in amazement)
KEN:
My brochure!
VANESSA:
There you go, little guy.
(Vanessa opens the window and lets Barry out but Barry stays back and is
still shocked that a human saved his life)
KEN:
I’m not scared of him.
It’s an allergic thing.
VANESSA:
Put that on your resume brochure.
KEN:
My whole face could puff up.
ANDY:
Make it one of your special skills.
KEN:
Knocking someone out
is also a special skill.
(Ken walks to the door)
Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.
:
– Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night?
VANESSA:
– Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.
:
(Vanessa tries to close door)
KEN==
– You could put carob chips on there.
VANESSA:
– Bye.
(Closes door but Ken opens it again)
KEN:
– Supposed to be less calories.
VANESSA:
– Bye.
(Closes door)
(Fast forward to the next day, Barry is still inside the house. He flies
into the kitchen where Vanessa is doing dishes)
BARRY==
(Talking to himself)
I gotta say something.
:
She saved my life.
I gotta say something.
:
All right, here it goes.
(Turns back)
Nah.
:
What would I say?
:
I could really get in trouble.
:
It’s a bee law.
You’re not supposed to talk to a human.
:
I can’t believe I’m doing this.
:
I’ve got to.
(Barry disguises himself as a character on a food can as Vanessa walks by
again)
:
Oh, I can’t do it. Come on!
:
No. Yes. No.
:
Do it. I can’t.
:
How should I start it?
(Barry strikes a pose and wiggles his eyebrows)
“You like jazz?”
No, that’s no good.
(Vanessa is about to walk past Barry)
Here she comes! Speak, you fool!
:
…Hi!
(Vanessa gasps and drops the dishes in fright and notices Barry on the
counter)
:
I’m sorry.
VANESSA:
– You’re talking.
BARRY:
– Yes, I know.
VANESSA:
(Pointing at Barry)
You’re talking!
BARRY:
I’m so sorry.
VANESSA:
No, it’s OK. It’s fine.
I know I’m dreaming.
:
But I don’t recall going to bed.
BARRY:
Well, I’m sure this
is very disconcerting.
VANESSA:
This is a bit of a surprise to me.
I mean, you’re a bee!
BARRY:
I am. And I’m not supposed
to be doing this,
(Pointing to the living room where Ken tried to kill him last night)
but they were all trying to kill me.
:
And if it wasn’t for you…
:
I had to thank you.
It’s just how I was raised.
(Vanessa stabs her hand with a fork to test whether she’s dreaming or not)
:
That was a little weird.
VANESSA:
– I’m talking with a bee.
BARRY:
– Yeah.
VANESSA:
I’m talking to a bee.
And the bee is talking to me!
BARRY:
I just want to say I’m grateful.
I’ll leave now.
(Barry turns to leave)
VANESSA:
– Wait! How did you learn to do that?
BARRY:
(Flying back)
– What?
VANESSA:
The talking…thing.
BARRY:
Same way you did, I guess.
“Mama, Dada, honey.” You pick it up.
VANESSA:
– That’s very funny.
BARRY:
– Yeah.
:
Bees are funny. If we didn’t laugh,
we’d cry with what we have to deal with.
:
Anyway…
VANESSA:
Can I…
:
…get you something?
BARRY:
– Like what?
VANESSA:
I don’t know. I mean…
I don’t know. Coffee?
BARRY:
I don’t want to put you out.
VANESSA:
It’s no trouble. It takes two minutes.
:
– It’s just coffee.
BARRY:
– I hate to impose.
(Vanessa starts making coffee)
VANESSA:
– Don’t be ridiculous!
BARRY:
– Actually, I would love a cup.
VANESSA:
Hey, you want rum cake?
BARRY:
– I shouldn’t.
VANESSA:
– Have some.
BARRY:
– No, I can’t.
VANESSA:
– Come on!
BARRY:
I’m trying to lose a couple micrograms.
VANESSA:
– Where?
BARRY:
– These stripes don’t help.
VANESSA:
You look great!
BARRY:
I don’t know if you know
anything about fashion.
:
Are you all right?
VANESSA:
(Pouring coffee on the floor and missing the cup completely)
No.
(Flash forward in time. Barry and Vanessa are sitting together at a table
on top of the apartment building drinking coffee)
:
BARRY==
He’s making the tie in the cab
as they’re flying up Madison.
:
He finally gets there.
:
He runs up the steps into the church.
The wedding is on.
:
And he says, “Watermelon?
I thought you said Guatemalan.
:
Why would I marry a watermelon?”
(Barry laughs but Vanessa looks confused)
VANESSA:
Is that a bee joke?
BARRY:
That’s the kind of stuff we do.
VANESSA:
Yeah, different.
:
So, what are you gonna do, Barry?
(Barry stands on top of a sugar cube floating in his coffee and paddles it
around with a straw like it’s a gondola)
BARRY:
About work? I don’t know.
:
I want to do my part for the hive,
but I can’t do it the way they want.
VANESSA:
I know how you feel.
BARRY:
– You do?
VANESSA:
– Sure.
:
My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or
a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.
BARRY:
– Really?
VANESSA:
– My only interest is flowers.
BARRY:
Our new queen was just elected
with that same campaign slogan.
:
Anyway, if you look…
(Barry points to a tree in the middle of Central Park)
:
There’s my hive right there. See it?
VANESSA:
You’re in Sheep Meadow!
BARRY:
Yes! I’m right off the Turtle Pond!
VANESSA:
No way! I know that area.
I lost a toe ring there once.
BARRY:
– Why do girls put rings on their toes?
VANESSA:
– Why not?
BARRY:
– It’s like putting a hat on your knee.
VANESSA:
– Maybe I’ll try that.
(A custodian installing a lightbulb looks over at them but to his
perspective it looks like Vanessa is talking to a cup of coffee on the
table)
CUSTODIAN:
– You all right, ma’am?
VANESSA:
– Oh, yeah. Fine.
:
Just having two cups of coffee!
BARRY:
Anyway, this has been great.
Thanks for the coffee.
VANESSA==
Yeah, it’s no trouble.
BARRY:
Sorry I couldn’t finish it. If I did,
I’d be up the rest of my life.
(Barry points towards the rum cake)
:
Can I take a piece of this with me?
VANESSA:
Sure! Here, have a crumb.
(Vanessa hands Barry a crumb but it is still pretty big for Barry)
BARRY:
– Thanks!
VANESSA:
– Yeah.
BARRY:
All right. Well, then…
I guess I’ll see you around.
:
Or not.
VANESSA:
OK, Barry…
BARRY:
And thank you
so much again… for before.
VANESSA:
Oh, that? That was nothing.
BARRY:
Well, not nothing, but… Anyway…
(Vanessa and Barry hold hands, but Vanessa has to hold out a finger because
her hands is to big and Barry holds that)
(The custodian looks over again and it appears Vanessa is laughing at her
coffee again. The lightbulb that he was screwing in sparks and he falls off
the ladder)
(Fast forward in time and we see two Bee Scientists testing out a parachute
in a Honex wind tunnel)
BEE SCIENTIST #1:
This can’t possibly work.
BEE SCIENTIST #2:
He’s all set to go.
We may as well try it.
:
OK, Dave, pull the chute.
(Dave pulls the chute and the wind slams him against the wall and he falls
on his face.The camera pans over and we see Barry and Adam walking
together)
ADAM:
– Sounds amazing.
BARRY:
– It was amazing!
:
It was the scariest,
happiest moment of my life.
ADAM:
Humans! I can’t believe
you were with humans!
:
Giant, scary humans!
What were they like?
BARRY:
Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.
:
They eat crazy giant things.
They drive crazy.
ADAM:
– Do they try and kill you, like on TV?
BARRY:
– Some of them. But some of them don’t.
ADAM:
– How’d you get back?
BARRY:
– Poodle.
ADAM:
You did it, and I’m glad. You saw
whatever you wanted to see.
:
You had your “experience.” Now you
can pick out your job and be normal.
BARRY:
– Well…
ADAM:
– Well?
BARRY:
Well, I met someone.
ADAM:
You did? Was she Bee-ish?
:
– A wasp?! Your parents will kill you!
BARRY:
– No, no, no, not a wasp.
ADAM:
– Spider?
BARRY:
– I’m not attracted to spiders.
:
I know, for everyone else, it’s the hottest thing,
with the eight legs and all.
:
I can’t get by that face.
ADAM:
So who is she?
BARRY:
She’s… human.
ADAM:
No, no. That’s a bee law.
You wouldn’t break a bee law.
BARRY:
– Her name’s Vanessa.
(Adam puts his head in his hands)
ADAM:
– Oh, boy.
BARRY==
She’s so nice. And she’s a florist!
ADAM:
Oh, no! You’re dating a human florist!
BARRY:
We’re not dating.
ADAM:
You’re flying outside the hive, talking
to humans that attack our homes
:
with power washers and M-80s!
That’s one-eighth a stick of dynamite!
BARRY:
She saved my life!
And she understands me.
ADAM:
This is over!
BARRY:
Eat this.
(Barry gives Adam a piece of the crumb that he got from Vanessa. Adam eats
it)
ADAM:
(Adam’s tone changes)
This is not over! What was that?
BARRY:
– They call it a crumb.
ADAM:
– It was so stingin’ stripey!
BARRY:
And that’s not what they eat.
That’s what falls off what they eat!
:
– You know what a Cinnabon is?
ADAM:
– No.
(Adam opens a door behind him and he pulls Barry in)
BARRY:
It’s bread and cinnamon and frosting.
ADAM:
Be quiet!
BARRY:
They heat it up…
ADAM:
Sit down!
(Adam forces Barry to sit down)
BARRY:
(Still rambling about Cinnabons)
…really hot!
(Adam grabs Barry by the shoulders)
ADAM:
– Listen to me!
:
We are not them! We’re us.
There’s us and there’s them!
BARRY==
Yes, but who can deny
the heart that is yearning?
ADAM:
There’s no yearning.
Stop yearning. Listen to me!
:
You have got to start thinking bee,
my friend. Thinking bee!
BARRY:
– Thinking bee.
WORKER BEE:
– Thinking bee.
WORKER BEES AND ADAM:
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
(Flash forward in time; Barry is laying on a raft in a pool full of honey.
He is wearing sunglasses)
JANET:
There he is. He’s in the pool.
MARTIN:
You know what your problem is, Barry?
(Barry pulls down his sunglasses and he looks annoyed)
BARRY:
(Sarcastic)
I gotta start thinking bee?
JANET:
How much longer will this go on?
MARTIN:
It’s been three days!
Why aren’t you working?
(Puts sunglasses back on)
BARRY:
I’ve got a lot of big life decisions
to think about.
MARTIN:
What life? You have no life!
You have no job. You’re barely a bee!
JANET:
Would it kill you
to make a little honey?
(Barry rolls off the raft and sinks into the honey pool)
:
Barry, come out.
Your father’s talking to you.
:
Martin, would you talk to him?
MARTIN:
Barry, I’m talking to you!
(Barry keeps sinking into the honey until he is suddenly in Central Park
having a picnic with Vanessa)
(Barry has a cup of honey and he clinks his glass with Vanessas. Suddenly a
mosquito lands on Vanessa and she slaps it, killing it. They both gasp but
then burst out laughing)
VANESSA:
You coming?
(The camera pans over and Vanessa is climbing into a small yellow airplane)
BARRY:
Got everything?
VANESSA:
All set!
BARRY:
Go ahead. I’ll catch up.
(Vanessa lifts off and flies ahead)
VANESSA:
Don’t be too long.
(Barry catches up with Vanessa and he sticks out his arms like ana irplane.
He rolls from side to side, and Vanessa copies him with the airplane)
VANESSA:
Watch this!
(Barry stays back and watches as Vanessa draws a heart in the air using
pink smoke from the plane, but on the last loop-the-loop she suddenly
crashes into a mountain and the plane explodes. The destroyed plane falls
into some rocks and explodes a second time)
BARRY:
Vanessa!
(As Barry is yelling his mouth fills with honey and he wakes up,
discovering that he was just day dreaming. He slowly sinks back into the
honey pool)
MARTIN:
– We’re still here.
JANET:
– I told you not to yell at him.
:
He doesn’t respond to yelling!
MARTIN:
– Then why yell at me?
JANET:
– Because you don’t listen!
MARTIN:
I’m not listening to this.
BARRY:
Sorry, I’ve gotta go.
MARTIN:
– Where are you going?
BARRY:
– I’m meeting a friend.
JANET:
A girl? Is this why you can’t decide?
BARRY:
Bye.
(Barry flies out the door and Martin shakes his head)
:
JANET==
I just hope she’s Bee-ish.
(Fast forward in time and Barry is sitting on Vanessa’s shoulder and she is
closing up her shop)
BARRY:
They have a huge parade
of flowers every year in Pasadena?
VANESSA:
To be in the Tournament of Roses,
that’s every florist’s dream!
:
Up on a float, surrounded
by flowers, crowds cheering.
BARRY:
A tournament. Do the roses
compete in athletic events?
VANESSA:
No. All right, I’ve got one.
How come you don’t fly everywhere?
BARRY:
It’s exhausting. Why don’t you
run everywhere? It’s faster.
VANESSA:
Yeah, OK, I see, I see.
All right, your turn.
BARRY:
TiVo. You can just freeze live TV?
That’s insane!
VANESSA:
You don’t have that?
BARRY:
We have Hivo, but it’s a disease.
It’s a horrible, horrible disease.
VANESSA:
Oh, my.
(A human walks by and Barry narrowly avoids him)
PASSERBY:
Dumb bees!
VANESSA:
You must want to sting all those jerks.
BARRY:
We try not to sting.
It’s usually fatal for us.
VANESSA:
So you have to watch your temper
(They walk into a store)
BARRY:
Very carefully.
You kick a wall, take a walk,
:
write an angry letter and throw it out.
Work through it like any emotion:
:
Anger, jealousy, lust.
(Suddenly an employee(Hector) hits Barry off of Vanessa’s shoulder. Hector
thinks he’s saving Vanessa)
VANESSA:
(To Barry)
Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?
(Barry is getting up off the floor)
BARRY:
Yeah.
VANESSA:
(To Hector)
– What is wrong with you?!
HECTOR:
(Confused)
– It’s a bug.
VANESSA:
He’s not bothering anybody.
Get out of here, you creep!
(Vanessa hits Hector across the face with the magazine he had and then hits
him in the head. Hector backs away covering his head)
Barry:
What was that? A Pic ‘N’ Save circular?
(Vanessa sets Barry back on her shoulder)
VANESSA:
Yeah, it was. How did you know?
BARRY:
It felt like about 10 pages.
Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.
VANESSA:
You’ve really got that
down to a science.
BARRY:
– Oh, we have to. I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue.
VANESSA:
– I’ll bet.
(Barry looks to his right and notices there is honey for sale in the aisle)
BARRY:
What in the name
of Mighty Hercules is this?
(Barry looks at all the brands of honey, shocked)
How did this get here?
Cute Bee, Golden Blossom,
:
Ray Liotta Private Select?
(Barry puts his hands up and slowly turns around, a look of disgust on his
face)
VANESSA:
– Is he that actor?
BARRY:
– I never heard of him.
:
– Why is this here?
VANESSA:
– For people. We eat it.
BARRY:
You don’t have
enough food of your own?!
(Hector looks back and notices that Vanessa is talking to Barry)
VANESSA:
– Well, yes.
BARRY:
– How do you get it?
VANESSA:
– Bees make it.
BARRY:
– I know who makes it!
:
And it’s hard to make it!
:
There’s heating, cooling, stirring.
You need a whole Krelman thing!
VANESSA:
– It’s organic.
BARRY:
– It’s our-ganic!
VANESSA:
It’s just honey, Barry.
BARRY:
Just what?!
:
Bees don’t know about this!
This is stealing! A lot of stealing!
:
You’ve taken our homes, schools,
hospitals! This is all we have!
:
And it’s on sale?!
I’m getting to the bottom of this.
:
I’m getting to the bottom
of all of this!
(Flash forward in time; Barry paints his face with black strikes like a
soldier and sneaks into the storage section of the store)
(Two men, including Hector, are loading boxes into some trucks)
:
SUPERMARKET EMPLOYEE==
Hey, Hector.
:
– You almost done?
HECTOR:
– Almost.
(Barry takes a step to peak around the corner)
(Whispering)
He is here. I sense it.
:
Well, I guess I’ll go home now
(Hector pretends to walk away by walking in place and speaking loudly)
:
and just leave this nice honey out,
with no one around.
BARRY:
You’re busted, box boy!
HECTOR:
I knew I heard something!
So you can talk!
BARRY:
I can talk.
And now you’ll start talking!
:
Where you getting the sweet stuff?
Who’s your supplier?
HECTOR:
I don’t understand.
I thought we were friends.
:
The last thing we want
to do is upset bees!
(Hector takes a thumbtack out of the board behind him and sword-fights
Barry. Barry is using his stinger like a sword)
:
You’re too late! It’s ours now!
BARRY:
You, sir, have crossed
the wrong sword!
HECTOR:
You, sir, will be lunch
for my iguana, Ignacio!
(Barry hits the thumbtack out of Hectors hand and Hector surrenders)
Barry:
Where is the honey coming from?
:
Tell me where!
HECTOR:
(Pointing to leaving truck)
Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!
(Barry chases after the truck but it is getting away. He flies onto a
bicyclists’ backpack and he catches up to the truck)
CAR DRIVER:
(To bicyclist)
Crazy person!
(Barry flies off and lands on the windshield of the Honey farms truck.
Barry looks around and sees dead bugs splattered everywhere)
BARRY:
What horrible thing has happened here?
:
These faces, they never knew
what hit them. And now
:
they’re on the road to nowhere!
(Barry hears a sudden whisper)
(Barry looks up and sees Mooseblood, a mosquito playing dead)
MOOSEBLOOD:
Just keep still.
BARRY:
What? You’re not dead?
MOOSEBLOOD:
Do I look dead? They will wipe anything
that moves. Where you headed?
BARRY:
To Honey Farms.
I am onto something huge here.
MOOSEBLOOD:
I’m going to Alaska. Moose blood,
crazy stuff. Blows your head off!
ANOTHER BUG PLAYING DEAD:
I’m going to Tacoma.
(Barry looks at another bug)
BARRY:
– And you?
MOOSEBLOOD:
– He really is dead.
BARRY:
All right.
(Another bug hits the windshield and the drivers notice. They activate the
windshield wipers)
MOOSEBLOOD==
Uh-oh!
(The windshield wipers are slowly sliding over the dead bugs and wiping
them off)
BARRY:
– What is that?!
MOOSEBLOOD:
– Oh, no!
:
– A wiper! Triple blade!
BARRY:
– Triple blade?
MOOSEBLOOD:
Jump on! It’s your only chance, bee!
(Mooseblood and Barry grab onto the wiper and they hold on as it wipes the
windshield)
Why does everything have
to be so doggone clean?!
:
How much do you people need to see?!
(Bangs on windshield)
:
Open your eyes!
Stick your head out the window!
RADIO IN TRUCK:
From NPR News in Washington,
I’m Carl Kasell.
MOOSEBLOOD:
But don’t kill no more bugs!
(Mooseblood and Barry are washed off by the wipr fluid)
MOOSEBLOOD:
– Bee!
BARRY:
– Moose blood guy!!
(Barry starts screaming as he hangs onto the antenna)
(Suddenly it is revealed that a water bug is also hanging on the antenna.
There is a pause and then Barry and the water bug both start screaming)
TRUCK DRIVER:
– You hear something?
GUY IN TRUCK:
– Like what?
TRUCK DRIVER:
Like tiny screaming.
GUY IN TRUCK:
Turn off the radio.
(The antenna starts to lower until it gets to low and sinks into the truck.
The water bug flies off and Barry is forced to let go and he is blown away.
He luckily lands inside a horn on top of the truck where he finds
Mooseblood, who was blown into the same place)
MOOSEBLOOD:
Whassup, bee boy?
BARRY:
Hey, Blood.
(Fast forward in time and we see that Barry is deep in conversation with
Mooseblood. They have been sitting in this truck for a while)
BARRY:
…Just a row of honey jars,
as far as the eye could see.
MOOSEBLOOD:
Wow!
BARRY:
I assume wherever this truck goes
is where they’re getting it.
:
I mean, that honey’s ours.
MOOSEBLOOD:
– Bees hang tight.
BARRY:
– We’re all jammed in.
:
It’s a close community.
MOOSEBLOOD:
Not us, man. We on our own.
Every mosquito on his own.
BARRY:
– What if you get in trouble?
MOOSEBLOOD:
– You a mosquito, you in trouble.
:
Nobody likes us. They just smack.
See a mosquito, smack, smack!
BARRY:
At least you’re out in the world.
You must meet girls.
MOOSEBLOOD:
Mosquito girls try to trade up,
get with a moth, dragonfly.
:
Mosquito girl don’t want no mosquito.
(An ambulance passes by and it has a blood donation sign on it)
You got to be kidding me!
:
Mooseblood’s about to leave
the building! So long, bee!
(Mooseblood leaves and flies onto the window of the ambulance where there
are other mosquito’s hanging out)
:
– Hey, guys!
OTHER MOSQUITO:
– Mooseblood!
MOOSEBLOOD:
I knew I’d catch y’all down here.
Did you bring your crazy straw?
(The truck goes out of view and Barry notices that the truck he’s on is
pulling into a camp of some sort)
TRUCK DRIVER:
We throw it in jars, slap a label on it,
and it’s pretty much pure profit.
(Barry flies out)
BARRY:
What is this place?
BEEKEEPER 1#:
A bee’s got a brain
the size of a pinhead.
BEEKEEPER #2:
They are pinheads!
:
Pinhead.
:
– Check out the new smoker.
BEEKEEPER #1:
– Oh, sweet. That’s the one you want.
:
The Thomas 3000!
BARRY:
Smoker?
BEEKEEPER #1:
Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic.
Twice the nicotine, all the tar.
:
A couple breaths of this
knocks them right out.
BEEKEEPER #2:
They make the honey,
and we make the money.
BARRY:
“They make the honey,
and we make the money”?
(The Beekeeper sprays hundreds of cheap miniature apartments with the
smoker. The bees are fainting or passing out)
Oh, my!
:
What’s going on? Are you OK?
(Barry flies into one of the apartment and helps a Bee couple get off the
ground. They are coughing and its hard for them to stand)
BEE IN APARTMENT:
Yeah. It doesn’t last too long.
BARRY:
Do you know you’re
in a fake hive with fake walls?
BEE IN APPARTMENT:
Our queen was moved here.
We had no choice.
(The apartment room is completely empty except for a photo on the wall of
the “queen” who is obviously a man in women’s clothes)
BARRY:
This is your queen?
That’s a man in women’s clothes!
:
That’s a drag queen!
:
What is this?
(Barry flies out and he discovers that there are hundreds of these
structures, each housing thousands of Bees)
Oh, no!
:
There’s hundreds of them!
(Barry takes out his camera and takes pictures of these Bee work camps. The
beekeepers look very evil in these depictions)
Bee honey.
:
Our honey is being brazenly stolen
on a massive scale!
:
This is worse than anything bears
have done! I intend to do something.
(Flash forward in time and Barry is showing these pictures to his parents)
JANET:
Oh, Barry, stop.
MARTIN:
Who told you humans are taking
our honey? That’s a rumor.
BARRY:
Do these look like rumors?
(Holds up the pictures)
UNCLE CARL:
That’s a conspiracy theory.
These are obviously doctored photos.
JANET:
How did you get mixed up in this?
ADAM:
He’s been talking to humans.
JANET:
– What?
MARTIN:
– Talking to humans?!
ADAM:
He has a human girlfriend.
And they make out!
JANET:
Make out? Barry!
BARRY:
We do not.
ADAM:
– You wish you could.
MARTIN:
– Whose side are you on?
BARRY:
The bees!
UNCLE CARL:
(He has been sitting in the back of the room this entire time)
I dated a cricket once in San Antonio.
Those crazy legs kept me up all night.
JANET:
Barry, this is what you want
to do with your life?
BARRY:
I want to do it for all our lives.
Nobody works harder than bees!
:
Dad, I remember you
coming home so overworked
:
your hands were still stirring.
You couldn’t stop.
JANET:
I remember that.
BARRY:
What right do they have to our honey?
:
We live on two cups a year. They put it
in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!
ADAM:
Even if it’s true, what can one bee do?
BARRY:
Sting them where it really hurts.
MARTIN:
In the face! The eye!
:
– That would hurt.
BARRY:
– No.
MARTIN:
Up the nose? That’s a killer.
BARRY:
There’s only one place you can sting
the humans, one place where it matters.
(Flash forward a bit in time and we are watching the Bee News)
BEE NEWS NARRATOR:
Hive at Five, the hive’s only
full-hour action news source.
BEE PROTESTOR:
No more bee beards!
BEE NEWS NARRATOR:
With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk.
:
Weather with Storm Stinger.
:
Sports with Buzz Larvi.
:
And Jeanette Chung.
BOB BUMBLE:
– Good evening. I’m Bob Bumble.
JEANETTE CHUNG:
– And I’m Jeanette Chung.
BOB BUMBLE:
A tri-county bee, Barry Benson,
:
intends to sue the human race
for stealing our honey,
:
packaging it and profiting
from it illegally!
JEANETTE CHUNG:
Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King,
:
we’ll have three former queens here in
our studio, discussing their new book,
:
Classy Ladies,
out this week on Hexagon.
(The scene changes to an interview on the news with Bee version of Larry
King and Barry)
BEE LARRY KING:
Tonight we’re talking to Barry Benson.
:
Did you ever think, “I’m a kid
from the hive. I can’t do this”?
BARRY:
Bees have never been afraid
to change the world.
:
What about Bee Columbus?
Bee Gandhi? Bejesus?
BEE LARRY KING:
Where I’m from, we’d never sue humans.
:
We were thinking
of stickball or candy stores.
BARRY:
How old are you?
BEE LARRY KING:
The bee community
is supporting you in this case,
:
which will be the trial
of the bee century.
BARRY:
You know, they have a Larry King
in the human world too.
BEE LARRY KING:
It’s a common name. Next week…
BARRY:
He looks like you and has a show
and suspenders and colored dots…
BEE LARRY KING:
Next week…
BARRY:
Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the
guest even though you just heard ’em.
BEE LARRY KING:
Bear Week next week!
They’re scary, hairy and here, live.
(Bee Larry King gets annoyed and flies away offscreen)
BARRY:
Always leans forward, pointy shoulders,
squinty eyes, very Jewish.
(Flash forward in time. We see Vanessa enter and Ken enters behind her.
They are arguing)
KEN:
In tennis, you attack
at the point of weakness!
VANESSA:
It was my grandmother, Ken. She’s 81.
KEN==
Honey, her backhand’s a joke!
I’m not gonna take advantage of that?
BARRY:
(To Ken)
Quiet, please.
Actual work going on here.
KEN:
(Pointing at Barry)
– Is that that same bee?
VANESSA:
– Yes, it is!
:
I’m helping him sue the human race.
BARRY:
– Hello.
KEN:
– Hello, bee.
VANESSA:
This is Ken.
BARRY:
(Recalling the “Winter Boots” incident earlier)
Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size
ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.
KEN:
(To Vanessa)
Why does he talk again?
VANESSA:
Listen, you better go
’cause we’re really busy working.
KEN:
But it’s our yogurt night!
VANESSA:
(Holding door open for Ken)
Bye-bye.
KEN:
(Yelling)
Why is yogurt night so difficult?!
(Ken leaves and Vanessa walks over to Barry. His workplace is a mess)
VANESSA:
You poor thing.
You two have been at this for hours!
BARRY:
Yes, and Adam here
has been a huge help.
ADAM:
– Frosting…
– How many sugars?
==BARRY==
Just one. I try not
to use the competition.
:
So why are you helping me?
VANESSA:
Bees have good qualities.
:
And it takes my mind off the shop.
:
Instead of flowers, people
are giving balloon bouquets now.
BARRY:
Those are great, if you’re three.
VANESSA:
And artificial flowers.
BARRY:
– Oh, those just get me psychotic!
VANESSA:
– Yeah, me too.
:
BARRY:
Bent stingers, pointless pollination.
ADAM:
Bees must hate those fake things!
:
Nothing worse
than a daffodil that’s had work done.
:
Maybe this could make up
for it a little bit.
VANESSA:
– This lawsuit’s a pretty big deal.
BARRY:
– I guess.
ADAM:
You sure you want to go through with it?
BARRY:
Am I sure? When I’m done with
the humans, they won’t be able
:
to say, “Honey, I’m home,”
without paying a royalty!
(Flash forward in time and we are watching the human news. The camera shows
a crowd outside a courthouse)
NEWS REPORTER:
It’s an incredible scene
here in downtown Manhattan,
:
where the world anxiously waits,
because for the first time in history,
:
we will hear for ourselves
if a honeybee can actually speak.
(We are no longer watching through a news camera)
ADAM:
What have we gotten into here, Barry?
BARRY:
It’s pretty big, isn’t it?
ADAM==
(Looking at the hundreds of people around the courthouse)
I can’t believe how many humans
don’t work during the day.
BARRY:
You think billion-dollar multinational
food companies have good lawyers?
SECURITY GUARD:
Everybody needs to stay
behind the barricade.
(A limousine drives up and a fat man,Layton Montgomery, a honey industry
owner gets out and walks past Barry)
ADAM:
– What’s the matter?
BARRY:
– I don’t know, I just got a chill.
(Fast forward in time and everyone is in the court)
MONTGOMERY:
Well, if it isn’t the bee team.
(To Honey Industry lawyers)
You boys work on this?
MAN:
All rise! The Honorable
Judge Bumbleton presiding.
JUDGE BUMBLETON:
All right. Case number 4475,
:
Superior Court of New York,
Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry
:
is now in session.
:
Mr. Montgomery, you’re representing
the five food companies collectively?
MONTGOMERY:
A privilege.
JUDGE BUMBLETON:
Mr. Benson… you’re representing
all the bees of the world?
(Everyone looks closely, they are waiting to see if a Bee can really talk)
(Barry makes several buzzing sounds to sound like a Bee)
BARRY:
I’m kidding. Yes, Your Honor,
we’re ready to proceed.
JUDGE BUMBLBETON:
Mr. Montgomery,
your opening statement, please.
MONTGOMERY:
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
:
my grandmother was a simple woman.
:
Born on a farm, she believed
it was man’s divine right
:
to benefit from the bounty
of nature God put before us.
:
If we lived in the topsy-turvy world
Mr. Benson imagines,
:
just think of what would it mean.
:
I would have to negotiate
with the silkworm
:
for the elastic in my britches!
:
Talking bee!
(Montgomery walks over and looks closely at Barry)
:
How do we know this isn’t some sort of
:
holographic motion-picture-capture
Hollywood wizardry?
:
They could be using laser beams!
:
Robotics! Ventriloquism!
Cloning! For all we know,
:
he could be on steroids!
JUDGE BUMBLETON:
Mr. Benson?
BARRY:
Ladies and gentlemen,
there’s no trickery here.
:
I’m just an ordinary bee.
Honey’s pretty important to me.
:
It’s important to all bees.
We invented it!
:
We make it. And we protect it
with our lives.
:
Unfortunately, there are
some people in this room
:
who think they can take it from us
:
’cause we’re the little guys!
I’m hoping that, after this is all over,
:
you’ll see how, by taking our honey,
you not only take everything we have
:
but everything we are!
JANET==
(To Martin)
I wish he’d dress like that
all the time. So nice!
JUDGE BUMBLETON:
Call your first witness.
BARRY:
So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden
of Honey Farms, big company you have.
KLAUSS VANDERHAYDEN:
I suppose so.
BARRY:
I see you also own
Honeyburton and Honron!
KLAUSS:
Yes, they provide beekeepers
for our farms.
BARRY:
Beekeeper. I find that
to be a very disturbing term.
:
I don’t imagine you employ
any bee-free-ers, do you?
KLAUSS:
(Quietly)
– No.
BARRY:
– I couldn’t hear you.
KLAUSS:
– No.
BARRY:
– No.
:
Because you don’t free bees.
You keep bees. Not only that,
:
it seems you thought a bear would be
an appropriate image for a jar of honey.
KLAUSS:
They’re very lovable creatures.
:
Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear.
BARRY:
You mean like this?
(The bear from Over The Hedge barges in through the back door and it is
roaring and standing on its hind legs. It is thrashing its claws and people
are screaming. It is being held back by a guard who has the bear on a
chain)
:
(Pointing to the roaring bear)
Bears kill bees!
:
How’d you like his head crashing
through your living room?!
:
Biting into your couch!
Spitting out your throw pillows!
JUDGE BUMBLETON:
OK, that’s enough. Take him away.
(The bear stops roaring and thrashing and walks out)
BARRY:
So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here.
Your name intrigues me.
:
– Where have I heard it before?
MR. STING:
– I was with a band called The Police.
BARRY:
But you’ve never been
a police officer, have you?
STING:
No, I haven’t.
BARRY:
No, you haven’t. And so here
we have yet another example
:
of bee culture casually
stolen by a human
:
for nothing more than
a prance-about stage name.
STING:
Oh, please.
BARRY:
Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting?
:
Because I’m feeling
a little stung, Sting.
:
Or should I say… Mr. Gordon M. Sumner!
MONTGOMERY:
That’s not his real name?! You idiots!
BARRY:
Mr. Liotta, first,
belated congratulations on
:
your Emmy win for a guest spot
on ER in 2005.
RAY LIOTTA:
Thank you. Thank you.
BARRY:
I see from your resume
that you’re devilishly handsome
:
with a churning inner turmoil
that’s ready to blow.
RAY LIOTTA:
I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?
BARRY:
Not yet it isn’t. But is this
what it’s come to for you?
:
Exploiting tiny, helpless bees
so you don’t
:
have to rehearse
your part and learn your lines, sir?
RAY LIOTTA:
Watch it, Benson!
I could blow right now!
BARRY:
This isn’t a goodfella.
This is a badfella!
(Ray Liotta looses it and tries to grab Barry)
RAY LIOTTA:
Why doesn’t someone just step on
this creep, and we can all go home?!
JUDGE BUMBLETON:
– Order in this court!
RAY LIOTTA:
– You’re all thinking it!
(Judge Bumbleton starts banging her gavel)
JUDGE BUMBLETON:
Order! Order, I say!
RAY LIOTTA:
– Say it!
MAN:
– Mr. Liotta, please sit down!
(We see a montage of magazines which feature the court case)
(Flash forward in time and Barry is back home with Vanessa)
BARRY:
I think it was awfully nice
of that bear to pitch in like that.
VANESSA:
I think the jury’s on our side.
BARRY:
Are we doing everything right,you know, legally?
VANESSA:
I’m a florist.
BARRY:
Right. Well, here’s to a great team.
VANESSA:
To a great team!
(Ken walks in from work. He sees Barry and he looks upset when he sees
Barry clinking his glass with Vanessa)
KEN:
Well, hello.
VANESSA:
– Oh, Ken!
BARRY:
– Hello!
VANESSA:
I didn’t think you were coming.
:
No, I was just late.
I tried to call, but…
(Ken holds up his phone and flips it open. The phone has no charge)
…the battery…
VANESSA:
I didn’t want all this to go to waste,
so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.
KEN:
Oh, that was lucky.
(Ken sits down at the table across from Barry and Vanessa leaves the room)
VANESSA:
There’s a little left.
I could heat it up.
KEN:
(Not taking his eyes off Barry)
Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.
BARRY:
So I hear you’re quite a tennis player.
:
I’m not much for the game myself.
The ball’s a little grabby.
KEN:
That’s where I usually sit.
Right…
(Points to where Barry is sitting)
there.
VANESSA:
(Calling from other room)
Ken, Barry was looking at your resume,
:
and he agreed with me that eating with
chopsticks isn’t really a special skill.
KEN:
(To Barry)
You think I don’t see what you’re doing?
BARRY:
I know how hard it is to find
the right job. We have that in common.
KEN:
Do we?
BARRY:
Bees have 100 percent employment,
but we do jobs like taking the crud out.
KEN:
(Menacingly)
That’s just what
I was thinking about doing.
(Ken reaches for a fork on the table but knocks if on the floor. He goes to
pick it up)
VANESSA:
Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor
for his fuzz. I hope that was all right.
(Ken quickly rises back up after hearing this but hits his head on the
table and yells)
BARRY:
I’m going to drain the old stinger.
KEN:
Yeah, you do that.
(Barry flies past Ken to get to the bathroom and Ken freaks out, splashing
some of the wine he was using to cool his head in his eyes. He yells in
anger)
(Barry looks at the magazines featuring his victories in court)
BARRY:
Look at that.
(Barry flies into the bathroom)
(He puts his hand on his head but this makes hurts him and makes him even
madder. He yells again)
(Barry is washing his hands in the sink but then Ken walks in)
KEN:
You know, you know I’ve just about had it
(Closes bathroom door behind him)
with your little mind games.
(Ken is menacingly rolling up a magazine)
BARRY:
(Backing away)
– What’s that?
KEN:
– Italian Vogue.
BARRY:
Mamma mia, that’s a lot of pages.
KEN:
It’s a lot of ads.
BARRY:
Remember what Van said, why is
your life more valuable than mine?
KEN:
That’s funny, I just can’t seem to recall that!
(Ken smashes everything off the sink with the magazine and Barry narrowly
escapes)
(Ken follows Barry around and tries to hit him with the magazine but he
keeps missing)
(Ken gets a spray bottle)
:
I think something stinks in here!
BARRY:
(Enjoying the spray)
I love the smell of flowers.
(Ken holds a lighter in front of the spray bottle)
KEN:
How do you like the smell of flames?!
BARRY:
Not as much.
(Ken fires his make-shift flamethrower but misses Barry, burning the
bathroom. He torches the whole room but looses his footing and falls into
the bathtub. After getting hit in the head by falling objects 3 times he
picks up the shower head, revealing a Water bug hiding under it)
WATER BUG:
Water bug! Not taking sides!
(Barry gets up out of a pile of bathroom supplies and he is wearing a
chapstick hat)
BARRY:
Ken, I’m wearing a Chapstick hat!
This is pathetic!
(Ken switches the shower head to lethal)
KEN:
I’ve got issues!
(Ken sprays Barry with the shower head and he crash lands into the toilet)
(Ken menacingly looks down into the toilet at Barry)
Well, well, well, a royal flush!
BARRY:
– You’re bluffing.
KEN:
– Am I?
(flushes toilet)
(Barry grabs a chapstick from the toilet seat and uses it to surf in the
flushing toilet)
BARRY:
Surf’s up, dude!
(Barry flies out of the toilet on the chapstick and sprays Ken’s face with
the toilet water)
:
EW,Poo water!
BARRY:
That bowl is gnarly.
KEN:
(Aiming a toilet cleaner at Barry)
Except for those dirty yellow rings!
(Barry cowers and covers his head and Vanessa runs in and takes the toilet
cleaner from Ken just before he hits Barry)
VANESSA:
Kenneth! What are you doing?!
KEN==
(Leaning towards Barry)
You know, I don’t even like honey!
I don’t eat it!
VANESSA:
We need to talk!
(Vanessa pulls Ken out of the bathroom)
:
He’s just a little bee!
:
And he happens to be
the nicest bee I’ve met in a long time!
KEN:
Long time? What are you talking about?!
Are there other bugs in your life?
VANESSA:
No, but there are other things bugging
me in life. And you’re one of them!
KEN:
Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night…
:
My nerves are fried from riding
on this emotional roller coaster!
VANESSA:
Goodbye, Ken.
(Ken huffs and walks out and slams the door. But suddenly he walks back in
and stares at Barry)
:
And for your information,
I prefer sugar-free, artificial
sweeteners MADE BY MAN!
(Ken leaves again and Vanessa leans in towards Barry)
VANESSA:
I’m sorry about all that.
(Ken walks back in again)
KEN:
I know it’s got
an aftertaste! I LIKE IT!
(Ken leaves for the last time)
VANESSA:
I always felt there was some kind
of barrier between Ken and me.
:
I couldn’t overcome it.
Oh, well.
:
Are you OK for the trial?
BARRY:
I believe Mr. Montgomery
is about out of ideas.
(Flash forward in time and Barry, Adam, and Vanessa are back in court)
MONTGOMERY–
We would like to call
Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.
ADAM:
Good idea! You can really see why he’s
considered one of the best lawyers…
(Barry stares at Adam)
…Yeah.
LAWYER:
Layton, you’ve
gotta weave some magic
with this jury,
or it’s gonna be all over.
MONTGOMERY:
Don’t worry. The only thing I have
to do to turn this jury around
:
is to remind them
of what they don’t like about bees.
(To lawyer)
– You got the tweezers?
LAWYER:
– Are you allergic?
MONTGOMERY:
Only to losing, son. Only to losing.
:
Mr. Benson Bee, I’ll ask you
what I think we’d all like to know.
:
What exactly is your relationship
(Points to Vanessa)
:
to that woman?
BARRY:
We’re friends.
MONTGOMERY:
– Good friends?
BARRY:
– Yes.
MONTGOMERY:
How good? Do you live together?
ADAM:
Wait a minute…
:
MONTGOMERY:
Are you her little…
:
…bedbug?
(Adam’s stinger starts vibrating. He is agitated)
I’ve seen a bee documentary or two.
From what I understand,
:
doesn’t your queen give birth
to all the bee children?
BARRY:
– Yeah, but…
MONTGOMERY:
(Pointing at Janet and Martin)
– So those aren’t your real parents!
JANET:
– Oh, Barry…
BARRY:
– Yes, they are!
ADAM:
Hold me back!
(Vanessa tries to hold Adam back. He wants to sting Montgomery)
MONTGOMERY:
You’re an illegitimate bee,
aren’t you, Benson?
ADAM:
He’s denouncing bees!
MONTGOMERY:
Don’t y’all date your cousins?
(Montgomery leans over on the jury stand and stares at Adam)
VANESSA:
– Objection!
(Vanessa raises her hand to object but Adam gets free. He flies straight at
Montgomery)
=ADAM:
– I’m going to pincushion this guy!
BARRY:
Adam, don’t! It’s what he wants!
(Adam stings Montgomery in the butt and he starts thrashing around)
MONTGOMERY:
Oh, I’m hit!!
:
Oh, lordy, I am hit!
JUDGE BUMBLETON:
(Banging gavel)
Order! Order!
MONTGOMERY:
(Overreacting)
The venom! The venom
is coursing through my veins!
:
I have been felled
by a winged beast of destruction!
:
You see? You can’t treat them
like equals! They’re striped savages!
:
Stinging’s the only thing
they know! It’s their way!
BARRY:
– Adam, stay with me.
ADAM:
– I can’t feel my legs.
MONTGOMERY:
(Overreacting and throwing his body around the room)
What angel of mercy
will come forward to suck the poison
:
from my heaving buttocks?
JUDGE BUMLBETON:
I will have order in this court. Order!
:
Order, please!
(Flash forward in time and we see a human news reporter)
NEWS REPORTER:
The case of the honeybees
versus the human race
:
took a pointed turn against the bees
:
yesterday when one of their legal
team stung Layton T. Montgomery.
(Adam is laying in a hospital bed and Barry flies in to see him)
BARRY:
– Hey, buddy.
ADAM:
– Hey.
BARRY:
– Is there much pain?
ADAM:
– Yeah.
:
I…
:
I blew the whole case, didn’t I?
BARRY:
It doesn’t matter. What matters is
you’re alive. You could have died.
ADAM:
I’d be better off dead. Look at me.
(A small plastic sword is replaced as Adam’s stinger)
They got it from the cafeteria
downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.
:
Look, there’s
a little celery still on it.
(Flicks off the celery and sighs)
BARRY:
What was it like to sting someone?
ADAM:
I can’t explain it. It was all…
:
All adrenaline and then…
and then ecstasy!
BARRY:
…All right.
ADAM:
You think it was all a trap?
BARRY:
Of course. I’m sorry.
I flew us right into this.
:
What were we thinking? Look at us. We’re
just a couple of bugs in this world.
ADAM:
What will the humans do to us
if they win?
BARRY:
I don’t know.
ADAM:
I hear they put the roaches in motels.
That doesn’t sound so bad.
BARRY:
Adam, they check in,
but they don’t check out!
ADAM:
Oh, my.
(Coughs)
Could you get a nurse
to close that window?
BARRY:
– Why?
ADAM:
– The smoke.
(We can see that two humans are smoking cigarettes outside)
:
Bees don’t smoke.
BARRY:
Right. Bees don’t smoke.
:
Bees don’t smoke!
But some bees are smoking.
:
That’s it! That’s our case!
ADAM:
It is? It’s not over?
BARRY:
Get dressed. I’ve gotta go somewhere.
:
Get back to the court and stall.
Stall any way you can.
(Flash forward in time and Adam is making a paper boat in the courtroom)
ADAM:
And assuming you’ve done step 29 correctly, you’re ready for the tub!
(We see that the jury have each made their own paper boats after being
taught how by Adam. They all look confused)
JUDGE BUMBLETON:
Mr. Flayman.
ADAM:
Yes? Yes, Your Honor!
JUDGE BUMBLETON:
Where is the rest of your team?
ADAM:
(Continues stalling)
Well, Your Honor, it’s interesting.
:
Bees are trained to fly haphazardly,
:
and as a result,
we don’t make very good time.
:
I actually heard a funny story about…
MONTGOMERY:
Your Honor,
haven’t these ridiculous bugs
:
taken up enough
of this court’s valuable time?
:
How much longer will we allow
these absurd shenanigans to go on?
:
They have presented no compelling
evidence to support their charges
:
against my clients,
who run legitimate businesses.
:
I move for a complete dismissal
of this entire case!
JUDGE BUMBLETON:
Mr. Flayman, I’m afraid I’m going
:
to have to consider
Mr. Montgomery’s motion.
ADAM:
But you can’t! We have a terrific case.
MONTGOMERY:
Where is your proof?
Where is the evidence?
:
Show me the smoking gun!
BARRY:
(Barry flies in through the door)
Hold it, Your Honor!
You want a smoking gun?
:
Here is your smoking gun.
(Vanessa walks in holding a bee smoker. She sets it down on the Judge’s
podium)
JUDGE BUMBLETON:
What is that?
BARRY:
It’s a bee smoker!
MONTGOMERY:
(Picks up smoker)
What, this?
This harmless little contraption?
:
This couldn’t hurt a fly,
let alone a bee.
(Montgomery accidentally fires it at the bees in the crowd and they faint
and cough)
(Dozens of reporters start taking pictures of the suffering bees)
BARRY:
Look at what has happened
:
to bees who have never been asked,
“Smoking or non?”
:
Is this what nature intended for us?
:
To be forcibly addicted
to smoke machines
:
and man-made wooden slat work camps?
:
Living out our lives as honey slaves
to the white man?
(Barry points to the honey industry owners. One of them is an African
American so he awkwardly separates himself from the others)
LAWYER:
– What are we gonna do?
– He’s playing the species card.
BARRY:
Ladies and gentlemen, please,
free these bees!
ADAM AND VANESSA:
Free the bees! Free the bees!
BEES IN CROWD:
Free the bees!
HUMAN JURY:
Free the bees! Free the bees!
JUDGE BUMBLETON:
The court finds in favor of the bees!
BARRY:
Vanessa, we won!
VANESSA:
I knew you could do it! High-five!
(Vanessa hits Barry hard because her hand is too big)
:
Sorry.
BARRY:
(Overjoyed)
I’m OK! You know what this means?
:
All the honey
will finally belong to the bees.
:
Now we won’t have
to work so hard all the time.
MONTGOMERY:
This is an unholy perversion
of the balance of nature, Benson.
:
You’ll regret this.
(Montgomery leaves and Barry goes outside the courtroom. Several reporters
start asking Barry questions)
REPORTER 1#:
Barry, how much honey is out there?
BARRY:
All right. One at a time.
REPORTER 2#:
Barry, who are you wearing?
BARRY:
My sweater is Ralph Lauren,
and I have no pants.
(Barry flies outside with the paparazzi and Adam and Vanessa stay back)
ADAM:
(To Vanessa)
– What if Montgomery’s right?
Vanessa:
– What do you mean?
ADAM:
We’ve been living the bee way
a long time, 27 million years.
(Flash forward in time and Barry is talking to a man)
BUSINESS MAN:
Congratulations on your victory.
What will you demand as a settlement?
BARRY:
First, we’ll demand a complete shutdown
of all bee work camps.
(As Barry is talking we see a montage of men putting “closed” tape over the
work camps and freeing the bee
Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful
sort, which could only be broken by Love’s first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a
terrible fire breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful
prison, but none prevailed. She waited in the dragon’s keep in the highest room of the tallest tower
for her true love and true love’s first kiss. Like that’s ever going to happen. What a loony. Shrek
Beware Stay out I think he’s in here. All right. Lets get it! Hold on. Do you know what that thing can
do to you? Yeah. He’ll groan into your bones for his brains. Well actually that would be a giant. Now
Ogres, huh, they are much worse. They’ll make a soup from your freshly peeled skin. They’ll chew
your livers, squeeze the jelly from your eyes. Actually, it’s quite good on toast. Back, back beast,
back! I warned you! Right. This is the part, where you run away. Yeah! And stay out. Wanted.
Fairytale creatures. Right, this one is full. Take it away. Give me that. Your fine days are over. -25
pieces of silver for the witch. Next. -Come on. Sit down there! And be quiet! This cage is so small.
You wouldn’t turn me in. I’ll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please, give me another chance.
Oh, shut up! Next. What do we got? This little wooden puppet. I’m not a puppet, I’m a real boy. Five
shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away. No! Please, don’t let them do it! Next. What do you
got? Well, I’ve got a talking donkey! Right. Well that’s good for ten schillings, if you can prove it. Oh,
go ahead fella. Well? He’s just a li…, just a little nervous. He’s really quite a chatterbox. You
boneheaded donkey! That’s it. I have heard enough. Guards! No, no, he talks, he does! I can talk. I
love to talk. I’ve talked to… Get her out of my sight! -No, no, I swear! Hey, I can fly. -He can fly! -He
can fly! He can talk! -That’s right, fool! Now I’m a flying, talking donkey! You might have seen house
fly, maybe even a superfly. But I bet you ain’t never seen a donkey fly! Seize him! Get him! This way!
Hurry! You there. Ogre. -I. By the order of lord Farquaad. I am authorized to place you both under
arrest. And transport you to designated resettlement facility. Oh really? You and what army? Can I
say something to you? Listen, you were really, really something, back there. Incredible. Are you
talking to… …me? Yes, I was talking to you. Can I just tell you that you were really great back there
with those guards. They thought that was all over there. And then you showed up and BAM. There
was tripping on over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that.
Oh, that’s great. Really. Man, it’s good to be free. Now, why don’t you go celebrate your freedom
with your own friends? But I… I don’t have any friends. And I’m not going out there by myself. Hey
wait a minute. I have a great idea… I’ll stick with you. You and me in green fighting machine.
Together we’ll scare the spin if anybody crosses us. Oh, a, that was really scary. Maybe you don’t
mine me saying. If that don’t work, your breath will certainly do the job done, ’cause… you
definitively need some tic-tac or something, ’cause your breath stinks! Man you’ve ??? my note!
Just like the time… …and then I ate some rotten berries. Man I had some strong gases leaking out of
my but that day. Why are you following me? I’ll tell you why. ‘Cause I’m all alone, there is no one
here, beside me. My problems have all gone. There’s no one to derive me. But you got to have
free … -Stop singing! Well, it’s no wonder, you don’t have any friends. Wow! Only a true friend
would be that truly honest. Listen! Little donkey. Take a look at me! What am I? A… …really tall? No!
I’m an Ogre. You know, grab your torch and pitchforks. Doesn’t that bother you? Nope. Really?
-Really really. Oh? Man, I like you. What’s your name? A…, Shrek. Shrek?! But do you know, what I
like about you, Shrek? You’ve got that kind of: “I don’t care what nobody thinks of me” thing. I like
that, I respect that, Shrek. You’re all right. Uh, look at that. Who would wanna live in a place like
that? That would be my home. Oh, it is lovely. Just beautiful. You know you’re quite a decorator. It’s
amazing what you did with such a modest budget. I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder. I guess,
you don’t entertain much, do you? I like my privacy. You know I do to. That’s another thing, we have
in common. Like I hate it when you got somebody in your face. You try to give them a hint and they
won’t leave. And then there’s that big occurred silence, you know? Can I stay with you? -What? Can
I stay with you, please. Of course! -Really? No. -Please! I don’t want to go back there. You don’t
how is like to be concerned like a freak. Well…, maybe you do. But that’s why we have to stick
together! You got to let me stay! Please! Please! OK, OK. -But one night only. -Huh, thank you! A,
what are you do… No! This is going to be fun. We can stay up late, swap the manly stories. And in
the morning… I’m making waffles. Where do I sleep? Outside! Oh, a, I guess that’s cool. You know, I
don’t know you and you don’t know me… … so I guess, outside is best for me. Here I go. Good
night. I do like that half door. I’m a donkey all alone outside. Sit by myself outside, I guess. I’m all
alone, there’s no one here beside me. -I thought, I told you to stay outside. -I am outside. Well
James. This is far from the farm, but what choice do we have? It’s not… What a lovely bed. -Got
you! I found some cheese. Awful stuff. -Is that you Gordon? -How did you know? Enough! What are
you doing in my house? Oh, no, no, no… Death prods off the table! Where would we supposed to
put her. The bed’s taken. What? I live in a swamp. I’ve put up signs. I’m a terrifying Ogre! What do I
have to do, to get a little privacy? Oh, no! No, no! What are you doing in my swamp? All right, get
out of here. All of you. Move it! Come on, let’s go. And hurry up, hurry up. No, no, not there. Not
there! Hey don’t look at me. I didn’t invite them. Oh gosh, no one invited us. -What? We were forced
to come here. -By who? Lord Farquaad. He ??? All right. Who knows where this Farquaad guy is?
Oh I do. I know where he is. Does anyone else know where to find him? -Anyone at all? -Me.
-Anyone? Oh pick me, I know! Me, me. Ok, fine. Attention all fairy tale things! Do not get
comfortable. Your welcome is officially warned up. In fact. I’m gonna see this guy Farquaad right
now and get all off my land and back where you came from. You. You’re coming with me. All right.
That’s what I like to hear, man. Shrek and Donkey, two stubborn friends off on a world and big city
adventure. I love it. I’m on road again. Sing with me Shrek! I’m on road again… What did I say about
singing? -Can I whistle? -No. -Well, can I hummer? -All right. That’s enough. He’s ready to talk.
Run, run, run as fast as you can, you can’t catch me. I’m the gingerbread man. You monster. I’m not
a monster here. You are. You and the rest of that fairytale trash, poisoning my perfect world. -Now
tell me! Where are the others? -Eat me. I’ve tried to be fair to you, creatures. Now my patience has
reached its end! -Tell me! Or I’ll… -No, no, not the buttons. Not gumdrop buttons. All right! Who’s
hiding them? Ok, I’ll tell you. -Do you know the muffin-man? -The muffin-man? -The muffin-man.
-Yes, I know the muffin-man. Who lives on Proully lane? -Well, she’s married to the muffin-man.
-The muffin-man! -The muffin-man! -She’s married to the muffin-man. My lord! We found it. Well
then, what are you waiting for? Bring it in. Magic mirror. Don’t tell him anything! Evening. Mirror,
mirror on the wall. Is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all? Well, technically, you’re not a
king. A…, felonious. -You were saying. -What I mean is a… …you’re not a king, yet. But you can
become one. All you have to do, is marry a princess. Go on. So, just sit back and relax my lord,
because it’s time for you to meet today’s eligible bachelorettes. And here they are. Bachelorette
number one is a mentally abused shading from a kingdom far, far away. She likes sushi and
hottubbing anytime. Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for two evil sisters. Please
welcome… Cinderella. Bachelorette number two is a kemp wearing girl from a land of fantasy.
Although she lives with seven other man, she is not easy. Just kiss hers dead frozen lips and find
out what a live wife she is. Come on. Give it up for… Show-white. And last but certainly not least.
Bachelorette number three is a fire-breathing ????, dragon guarded castle, surrounded by a hot
boiling lava. But don’t let that cool you off. She’s a loaded pistol who likes Pina Coladas and getting
cut in the rain. Yours for the rescuing, Princess Fiona. So will it be, bachelorette number one?
Bachelorette number two? Or bachelorette number three? -Two… -Three! -Two! One. No, no, no.
Three. Pick number three my lord. Ok, ok. Number three. Lord Farquaad. You’ve chosen… princess
Fiona. She’s nice. Fiona. She’s perfect. All I have to do is just find someone… But I probably should
mention little thing that happens at night… -I’ll do it! -Yes, but after sunset… Silence! I will make this
princess Fiona my queen. And Duloc will finally have the perfect king! Captain! Assemble your finest
man. We’re going to have a tournament! That’s it, that’s, right there, that’s Duloc. I’ve told you I’ll
find it. So. That must be lord Farquaad’s castle. Aha, that’s the place. Do you think maybe he’s
compensating for something. Hey, hey wait up Shrek! -Hey, you! -No, no! Wait a second. Look, I’m
not gonna eat you. I just… It’s quiet. Too quiet. Where is everybody? Hey look at this. Wow! -Let’s
do that again. -No. no. All right. You’re going the right way for smack bottom. Sorry about that. That
champion should have the honor, no, no… …the privilege to go forth and rescue the lovely princess
Fiona from the fireing keep of the dragon. If for any reason the winner is unsuccessful, the first
runner up will take his place. And so on, and so forth. Some of you may die, but it’s a sacrifice I’m
willing to make. Applause. Let the tournament begin. What is that? Ugh, it’s hideous. Oh, that’s not
very nice. It’s just a donkey. Indeed. Knights! New plan. The one, who kills the Ogre, will be named
champion. How about him. Oh, hey. Now, come on. Can’t we just settle this over a pint? No? All
right then. Come on. Hey Shrek! Let me, let me! The chair! Give him the chair! Thank you. Thank
you, very much. I’m here until Thursday. Try the wheel! Shall I give the order sir? No. I have a better
idea. People of Duloc. I give you our champion! What? Congratulation, Ogre. You’ve won the honor
of embarking on a great and noble quest. Quest? I’m already on a quest. A quest to get my swamp
back! -Your swamp? -Yeah, my swamp! Where you dumped those fairytale creatures. Indeed. All
right Ogre, I’ll make you a deal. Go on this quest for me and I’ll give you your swamp back. Exactly
the way it was? Down to the last slime covered toast tool. -And the squatters? -As good as gone.
What kind of quest? Ok, let me get this straight! We gonna go find the dragon and rescue a princess
just so Farquaad will give you back the swamp, which you only don’t have, ’cause he filled it with
full of freaks on the first place. -Is that about right? -You know what? Maybe there is a good reason,
donkeys shouldn’t talk. I don’t get it Shrek. Why didn’t you just pull some old Ogre stuff on them?
You know, ??? . Grab his bones to make you brave. You know the whole Ogre trick. Oh, you know
what. Maybe I could have decapitated entire village and put their heads on plate. Got a knife, cut
open their spleens and drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you? A, no, not really, no. For
your information, there is a lot more to Ogres than people think. -Example. -Example? OK, A-a-m,
Ogres are like onions. -They stink? -Yes, no. -O, they make you cry. -No. Oh, you leave them out on
the sun and they get all brown and start ??? little wild hairs? No! Layers! Onions have layers. Ogres
have layers. Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers. O, you both have layers. You
know not everybody likes onions. Cake! Everybody loves cakes. Cakes have layers. I don’t care
what everyone likes. Ogres are not like cakes. You know what else everyone likes? Paffe. Have you
ever met a person and you say: “Hey, let’s get some paffe” and they say I don’t like paffe. Paffe is
delicious. No! You tensed, irritating, miniature peace of barden. Ogres are like onions. End of story.
Bye, bye. See you lather. Paffe is maybe the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet. You
know I think I’ve preferred your humming. Do you have a tissue or something, ’cause I’m making a
mess. Just the word paffe has made me start slimying Why, Shrek, did you do that? Man you got to
warn somebody before you just crack one off. My mouth was opened and everything. Believe me
donkey, if it was me, you’d be dead. It’s brimstone. We must be getting close. Yeah, right,
brimstone. Don’t be talking ??? brimstone. I know what I smell and ??? no brimstone. And they
don’t come of stone neither. Sure it’s big enough, but look at the location. Oh, Shrek, remember
when you said that Ogres have layers? Oh, yeah. Well, I have a confession to make. Donkeys don’t
have layers. We wear ??? sleeves. Wait a second. Donkeys don’t have sleeves. -You know what I
mean. -Oh, you can’t tell me you’re afraid of highs. No, I’m just a little uncomfortable of being on a
rickety bridge over boiling lake of lava! Come on donkey, I’m right here beside you. Ok? For
emotional support. We’ll just hackle this thing together one little baby step after time. -Really?
-Really really. Ok. That makes me feel so much better. Just keep moving and don’t look down.
Don’t look down, don’t look down. Shrek! I’m looking down! I can’t do this. Just let me off right now,
please. -But you’re already half way. -Yeah, but I know that half is safe. Ok, fine. I don’t have time
for this. You go back. Shrek, no, wait. Don’t do that! Oh, I’m sorry. Do what? -Oh. This? -Yes, that!
Yes, yes. Do it. OK. -No, Shrek! -I’m doing it. I’m gonna die. I’m gonna die. Shrek, I’m gonna die.
That will do Donkey, that will do. Cool. So where is this fire breathing pain in the neck anyway?
Inside. Waiting for us to rescue her. I was talking about the dragon Shrek. -Are you afraid? -No, but
shhhhh. Oh, good. Me neither. Because there’s nothing wrong with being afraid. Here’s a…,
something responsible of the situation. Not to mention dangerous situation. And there’s dragon that
breathes fire. I’m sure he’s meaner than a cow or anything, but they’re scare. You know what I
mean. I’m sure he’s heavier than a cow… Donkey. Two things. Ok? Shut, up. Now go over there and
see if you can find any stairs. Stairs? I thought we were looking for the princess. The princess will be
up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower. What makes you think she’ll be there? I read it
in a book once. Cool. You handle the dragon, I’ll handle the stairs. Oh, I’ll find those stairs. I’ll ???.
That’s right. Those stairs won’t know which way they go. The drafting stairs, ??? Don’t mess with
me. I’m the stair master. I’m master of the stairs. I wish I had a stair right here right here now, I’d
step all over it. Well, at least we know where the princess is. -But where is the… -Dragon! Donkey,
look out! Got you. Oh, what large teeth you have. I mean, white sparkling teeth. You probably hear
this all the time from your food, but you must bleach yourself, because that is one dashing smile you
got there. And do I detect the hint of minty freshness? And you know what else? You’re a girl
dragon. Oh, sure. I mean ‘course you’re a girl dragon, ’cause you’re just ricking the feminine beauty
out. What’s the matter with you? Do you have something in your eye? Man, I’d really love to stay,
but you know I’m a asthmatic and I don’t know if we would worked out. You’d be blowing smoke
and stuff. Shrek! No, Shrek! Shrek! -Wake up! -What? Are you princess Fiona? I am. Awaiting a
knight so bold as to rescue me. Oh, that’s nice. Now let’s go. But wait, sir knight. This be our first
meeting. Should not be wonderful, romantic moment? Yeah. Sorry lady there’s no time. Hey, what
are you doing? You know, you should sweep me out of my feet. Out through the window and down
the rope by to your valued steed. You’ve had a lot of time to plan this, haven’t you? Uh-um. But we
have to sing through this moment. You can residing of a poem to me. A ballad, a sonnet, a libretti.
Or something. I don’t think so. Well, can I at least know a name of my champion? Shrek. So, Shrek.
I pray that you take this favor as a token of my gratitude. Thanks. -You didn’t slay the dragon? -It’s
not my job to do this. Now, come on! But this isn’t right. ??? That’s what all the other knights did.
Yeah. Right before they burst in the flame. That’s not the point. Wait. Where are you going? Exit is
over there. Well, I have to save my ass. What kind of knight are you? One of a kind. …rush into a
physical relationship. I’m not that emotionally ready for commitment of a this magnitude. That was
the word I was looking for. Magnitude. Hey, that is unwanted physical contact. Hey, what are you
doing? Ok, ok, let’s just back up a little and take this one step at the time. I mean, we really should
get to know each other first, you know what am I saying. As friends, maybe even as ??? Hey don’t
do that. That’s my tail. That’s ma personal tail. And you’re going to tear it off…. Oh, no. No! -It
talks?! -Yeah. It’s getting to shut up, that’s a trick. Ok, you two. Head for the exit. I’ll take care of the
dragon. Ruuuuun! You did it. You rescued me. Amizing, you’re wonderful. You’re a … …a little
unorthodox I admit, but by deed is great and by heart is pure. I’m entirely in your debt. And where
would a brave knight be without his noble steed. I hope you heard that. She called me a noble
steed. She thinks I’m a steed. The battle is won. You may remove your helmet good sir knight. -Aah,
no. -Why not? I have helmet hair. Please. I wouldst look upon the face of my rescuer. Oh, no, you
wouldn’t, dust. But, how will you kiss me? What? That wasn’t in a job description. -Maybe it’s a
perk? -No. It’s destiny. You must know how it goes. A princess locked in a tower and besieged by a
dragon is rescued by a brave knight. And then they share true love’s first kiss. With Shrek? You
think, wait… …you think Shrek is your true love? Well, yes. You think that Shrek is your true love.
What is so funny? Let’s just say, I’m not your type, ok? Of course you are. You’re my rescuer. Now,
now remove your helmet. Look. I really don’t think this is a good idea. -Just take off the helmet. -I’m
not going to. -Take it off! -No! -Now! -Ok, easy. As you command your highness. You’re an Ogre.
Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming. Well, yes, actually. Oh no. This is all wrong. You’re not
supposed to be an Ogre. Princess, I was sent to rescue you by lord Farquaad, ok? He’s the one,
who wants to marry you. Well, then why didn’t he come to rescue me? Good question. You should
ask him that, when we get there. But I have to be rescued by my true love. Not by some Ogre and
his pet. Well so much for noble steed. Look princess. You’re not making my job any easier. Well I’m
sorry, but your job is not my problem. You can tell lord Farquaad that if he wants to rescue me
properly, I’ll be waiting for him right here. Hey, I’m no ones messenger boy, all right? -I’m a delivery
boy. -You wouldn’t dare. -You coming donkey? -Put me down! Yeah, I’m right behind you. Put me
down or you will suffer the consequences. This is not dignified. Put me down. Ok, here’s another
question. Let’s say that a woman ‘digged’ you, but you don’t really like her, that way. Now, how you
let her down real easy, so her feelings aren’t hurt? But you don’t get burned to a crisp neither. How
do you do this? Just tell her, she’s not your true love. Everyone knows it what happens when you
find… Hey! The sooner we get to Duloc, the better. Oh, yeah. You gonna love it there princess. It’s
beautiful. And what of my groom to be, lord Farquaad. What’s he like? Well, let me put it this way,
princess. Men of Farquaad’s stature are in short supply. Oh no, Shrek. There are those who think
little of him. Stop it. Stop it, both of you. You know, you’re just jealous that you can never measure
up to a great ruler like lord Farquaad. Yeah. Well maybe you’re right princess. But I’d like you do
that measuring when you see him tomorrow Tomorrow? It will take that long? -Shouldn’t we stop to
make camp? -No. That would take longer. We can keep going. But there are robbers in the woods.
Whoa, time out Shrek. Camp is definitely something that sounds good. Hey. Come on. I’m scarier
than anything we’re gonna see in this forest. I need to find somewhere to camp, now! Hey, over
here. Shrek, we can do better than that. Now, I don’t think this is decent for princess. No, no, it’s
perfect. It just needs a few homey touches. Homey touches? Like what? A door. Well, gentleman I’ll
be d…, good night. Do you want me to come in and read you a bedtime story, ’cause I will… I said
good night! Shrek! What are you doing? I just…, you know… Oh, come on, I was just kidding. And
that one, that’s Throwback. The only Ogre to ever spit over three wheat fields. Right. Yeah. Hey, can
you tell my future form these stars? Well, the stars don’t tell the future, Donkey. They tell stories.
Look. There’s Blodna, the “Flatulent” You can guess what he is famous for. All right. Now I know
you’re making this up. No. Look. There he is and there’s the group of hunters running away from his
stag. Man, there ain’t nothing, but a bunch of little dots. You know donkey, sometimes things are
more than they appear. Forget it. Hey Shrek. What are you gonna do when we get our swamp back,
anyway? -Our swamp? -You know. When we’re through rescuing the princess and all that stuff.
We? Donkey, there is no we. There’s no our. There’s just me and my swamp. And the first thing I’m
gonna do, is build a ten foot wall around my land. You cut me deep Shrek, you cut me real deep just
now. You know, what I think? I think this whole wall thing is just a way to keep somebody out. No,
do you think? -Are you hiding something? -Never mind Donkey. Oh, this is another one of those
onion things, isn’t it? No. This is one of those drop it and leave it alone things. -Why don’t you want
to talk about it? -Why do you want to talk about it? -Oh, Why you block? -I’m not blocking. -Oh yes
you are. -Donkey, I’m warning you. -Who are you trying to keep out? Just tell me that Shrek. Who?
Everyone, ok? -Oh, now we’re getting somewhere. -Oh, for ‘the love of pit’. Hey, what’s your
problem Shrek? What do you got against the whole world anyway? Look. I’m not the one with the
problem, ok? It’s the world that seems to have a problem with me. People take one look at me and
go: AAA… Help! Run! A big stupid ugly Ogre. They judge me, before they even know me. That’s why
I’m better off alone. You know what? When we met, I didn’t think you’re just a big stupid, ugly Ogre.
Yeah, I know. So, a… Are there any donkeys up there? Well, there’s a Cabby. The small and
annoying. Ok, ok. I see him, now. Big shining one, right there. That one, over there? That’s the
moon. Again. Show me again. Mirror, mirror, show her to me. Show me the princess. Perfect. Yeah.
You know I like like that. Oh come on baby… -Donkey. Wake up. -What? -Wake up. Morning. How
do you like your eggs? -Good morning princess. -What’s all this about? You know, we kind of got of
to a bad start yesterday and I wanted to make it up to you. I mean, after all, you did rescue me.
Thanks. Well, eat up. We’ve got a big day ahead of us. -Shrek! -What? It’s a compliment. Better out
than in I always say. But that’s no way to behave in front of a princess. -Thanks. -She’s as nasty as
you are. You know. You’re not exactly what I’ve expected. Well, maybe you shouldn’t judge people
before you get to know them. Princess! What are you doing? ???mon shery, for I am your saviour.
And I am rescuing you from this green…beast. Hey! That’s my princess. Go find your own. Please,
monster. Can’t you see I’m a little busy here? Look, pal. I don’t know who you think you are. Oh, of
course. How rude that was. Please, let me introduce myself. Oh marry men! Man, that was
annoying. Oh, you little… Shall we? ???all the forin??? Whoa, hold on, now. Where did that come
from? -What? -That. Back there. That was amazing. Where did you learn that? Well, when one lives
alone one has to learn these things in case there’s a… There is an arrow in your butt. What? Oh,
would you look at that. Oh, no… This is all my fault. I’m so sorry. -What’s wrong? -Shrek’s hurt.
-Shrek’s hurt? Shrek’s hurt! -Oh, no. Shrek’s going to die. -Donkey, I’m ok. You can’t do this to me
Shrek. I’m too young for you to die. Keep your legs elevated. Turn your head ???. -Does anyone
know how to handle… -Donkey! Calm down. If you want to help Shrek, run into woods and find me
a blue flower with red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Ok, I’m on it. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue
flower, red thorns. Don’t die Shrek. And if you see a long tunnel, stay away from the light! -Donkey!
-Oh, yeah. Right. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. -What are the flowers for? -For
getting rid of the Donkey. Now, you hold still and I’ll yank this thing out. -Hey! Easy with the yanking.
-I’m sorry, but it has to come out. No, no. It’s tender. What you’re doing here is the opposite…
-Don’t move. -Ok, look. Time out. -Would you… Ok. What do you propose we do? Blue flower, red
thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. This would be so much easier if I wasn’t
colorblind. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Hold on, Shrek. I’m coming! Not good.
Ok, ok, I can lose it. It’s just about it. Nothing happened. We were just a… Look if you want to be
alone, all you had to do is ask, ok? Oh, come on. That’s the last thing on my mind. The princess
here was just… Au! Hey, what’s that? Is that… There it is, princess. -Your future awaits you. -That’s
Duloc? Yeah. I know. You’ll shrink things lord Farquaad is compensating for something, which I
think needs, he has a I guess we better move on. Sure, but Shrek… -I’m worried about Donkey.
-What? I mean. Look at him. He doesn’t look so good. -What are you talking about? I’m fine. -Well,
that’s what they always say. And the next thing you know you’re on your back. -Dead! -You know
she’s right. You look awful. -Do you want to sit down? -You know, I’ll make you up some tea. Well, I
won’t say nothing, but I’ve got this twinge in my neck. And if I turn my neck like this, look. Au, see?
-He’s hungry. I’ll find us some dinner. -I’ll get the firewood. Hey, where are you going? Oh man, I
can’t feel my thumbs. I don’t have any thumbs!!! I think I need a hug. This is good. This is really
good. -What is this? -Wheat rat. -Rotisserie style. -No kidding. -Oh, this is delicious. -Well, they also
great in stews. Now, I don’t mean to brag, but I make a mean wheat rat stew. I guess I’ll be dining a
little different late tomorrow night. Maybe you can come visit me in the swamp sometime. I’ll cook
all kinds of stuff for you. Swamp toast, soup fish, eye tartar. You name it. I’d like that. -Ah… ,
princess? -Yes, Shrek? I’m a…. I was wondering. Are you… a… Are you gonna eat that? Man, isn’t
this romantic. Just look at that sunset. Sunset?! Oh, no. It’s late. It’s very late. -What? -Wait a
minute. I see what’s going on here. You’re afraid of the dark. Aren’t you? Yes, yes. That’s it. That’s,
I’m terrified. You know I’ll better go inside. But don’t feel bad, princess. I used to be afraid of the
dark too. Until… Hey, no, wait. I’m still afraid of the dark. -Good night. -Good night. Ahh. Now I
really see what’s going on here. Oh, what are you talking about. Hey I don’t wanna even hear. Look,
I’m an animal and I got instincts. And I know that you two are digging on each other. I can feel it.
Oh, you’re crazy. I’m just bringing her back to Farquaad. Oh, come on, Shrek. Wake up and smell
the fairemones. Just go in there and tell her how you feel. There’s nothing to tell. Besides, even if I
did tell her that… well you know. I’m not saying that I do, ’cause I don’t. She’s a princess and
I’m… …an Ogre. Yeah, an Ogre. -Hey, where are you going? -To get more firewood. Princess.
Princess Fiona? Princess, where are you? Princess? It’s very spooky in here and are we playing little
games. -No, no. -Help! Shrek! Shrek! -No. -Shrek! -It’s ok. It’s ok. -What did you do with the
princess? -Donkey, shhh. I’m the princess. -It’s me, in this body. -Oh my god. You ate the princess.
-Can you hear me? -Donkey! Listen, keep breathing. I’ll get you out of there! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!
This is me. Princess? What happened to you? You’re a… different. -I’m ugly, ok? -Yeah. Was it
something that you ate? ‘Cause I told Shrek those rats were a bad idea. -You are what you eat, I
say. -No. I’ve been this way as long as I can remember. What do you mean? Look, I’ve never seen
you like this before. It only happens when the sun goes down. By night one way, by day another.
This shall be the norm until you find true love’s first kiss. Then, take love’s true form… -Oh, that’s
beautiful. I didn’t know you wrote poetry. -It’s the spell. When I was a little girl, a witch cast a spell
on me. Every night I become this. This horrible ugly beast. I was placed in a tower to await the day
when my true love would rescue me. That’s why I have to marry lord Farquaad tomorrow, before the
sun sets and he sees me, like this? All right, all right. Calm down. Look, it’s not that bad. You’re not
that ugly. Wait, wait, I’ll not lie, you are ugly. But you only look like this at night. Shrek’s ugly 24/7.
But Donkey, I’m a princess. And this is not how a princess is meant to look. Princess. How about if
you don’t marry Farquaad? I have to. Only my true love’s kiss can brake the spell. But you know,
you’re kind of an Ogre. And Shrek… Well you’ve got a lot in common. Shrek? Princess, I… How is it
going first of all? Good? Good for me to. I’m ok. I saw this flower and thought of you because it’s
pretty. And, well, I don’t really like it, but I thought you may like it, because you’re pretty. But I like
you anyway. A…. I’m in trouble. Ok, here we go. Who could ever love a piece so hideous and ugly?
Princess and ugly don’t go together. That’s why I can’t stay here with Shrek, but only chance to live
happily ever after is to marry my true love. Don’t you see, Donkey? That’s just how it has to be. It’s
the only way to break the spell. Well, at least you’ve got tell Shrek the truth. No, no. You can’t
breathe the word. No one must ever know. What’s the point of being unable to talk? You got to
keep secrets. Promise you won’t tell. Promise! You know, before this is over, I’m going to need
whole lot of serious therapies. All right, all right. I won’t tell him. But you should. Look at my eye
twitching. I tell him, I tell him not. I tell him. I tell him not. I tell him! Shrek! Shrek! There’s something I
want … Shrek. Are you all right? Perfect. Never been better. I… There’s something I have to tell you.
You don’t have to tell me anything, princess. I heard enough last night. -You’ve heard what I said?
-Every word. I thought you’d understand? Oh, I understand! Like you said, who could love a
hideous, ugly beast! -I thought that wouldn’t matter to you. -Yeah, well, it does. Ah, right on time.
Princess. I brought you a little something. What I missed? What I missed? -Princess Fiona. -As
promised. Now hand it over. Very well, Ogre. The deed to your swamp. Cleared out as agreed. Take
it and go. Before I change my mind. Forgive me princess for startling you, but you startled me. For
I’ve never seen such a radiant beauty before. -I am lord Farquaad. -Lord Farquaad? Oh, no, no…
forgive me my lord for I was just saying short… farewell. Oh. That is so sweet. You don’t have to
raise good manners on the Ogre. -It’s not like it has feelings. -No. You’re right. It doesn’t. Princess
Fiona, beautiful fair flawless Fiona, I ask your hand in marriage. Will you be the perfect bride for the
perfect groom? Lord Farquaad, I accept. Nothing would make… Excellent! I’ll start the plans for
tomorrow we wedd… No! I mean I… Why wait? Let’s get married today. Before sunset. Oh, anxious
are we? You’re right. The sooner, the better. There’s so much to do. There is the camera, the cake,
the band, the guests… Captain! Round up some guests. Farewell Ogre. Shrek, what are you doing?
You let her get away. -Yeah, so what. -Shrek. There’s something about her that you don’t know. -I
talked to her last night. She’s… -Yeah I know you talked to her last night. You’re great pal, aren’t
you? Now, if you two are such good friend, why didn’t you follow her home? -Shrek. I want to go
with you. -I told you, didn’t I? You’re not coming home with me. I live alone. My swamp, me and
nobody else! Understand? Nobody! Especially useless, pathetic, annoying, talking donkeys! -But. I
thought… -Yeah. You know what? You thought wrong. Shrek. Donkey? What are you doing? I was
thinking of all the people, you would recognize a wall when you see one. Well, yeah. But the wall
supposed to go around my swamp. Not through it. It is around your half. See? That’s your half and
this is my half. Oh, your half? Yes, my half. I helped rescue the princess. I did half the work. I get
half the booty. Now hand me that big old rock, the one that looks like your head -Back off! -No. You
back off! -This is my swamp. -Our swamp. -Let go, Donkey! -You let go! -Stubborn jackass. -Smelly
Ogre. Fine! Hey, hey, come back here. I’m not through with you, yet. -Well, I’m through with you!
-Well, you know. You were always me, me, me. Well, guess what? Now it’s my turn! So you just
shut up and pay attention! You are mean to me, you insult me, you don’t appreciate anything that I
do! You’re always pushing me around or pushing me away. Oh, yeah? Well, if I treated you so bad,
how come you came back? Because that’s what friend do. They forgive each other! Oh, yeah.
You’re right Donkey. I forgive you for stabbing me in the back! You’re so wrapped up in layers,
onion boy. You’re afraid of your own feelings. -Go away. -See? There you are, doing it again. Just
like you did it to Fiona. And all she ever do, was like you. Maybe even love you. Love me? She said I
was ugly! A hideous creature. -I heard that you two were talking. -She wasn’t talking about you. She
was talking about… …somebody else. She wasn’t talking about me? Well then, who was she talking
about? No way, I’m not saying anything. You won’t listen to me, right? Right? -Donkey. -No! Ok,
look. I’m sorry, all right? I’m sorry. I guess I am just a big stupid, ugly Ogre. Can you forgive me?
-Hey, that’s the friends are for, right? -Right. -Friends? -Friends. So? What did Fiona said about
me? Why are you asking me for? Why don’t you just go ask her. The wedding! We’ll never make it in
time! Never fear! For where there is a will, there is a way. And I have I way. Donkey? -I guess this is
just my act of magnetism. -Oh, come here, you. All right. All right. Don’t get all started. No one likes
kissass. All right, hop on. Hold on tight. I hadn’t have a chance to install seat belts, yet. People of
Duloc. We gather here today to bear witness to reunion of our new king… Excuse me. Could you
just skip ahead to “I do’s”? Go on. Go ahead and have some fun, if we need you, I’ll whistle. How
about that? Shrek, wait, wait a minute. You want to do this right, don’t you? -What are you talking
about? -It’s the line, it’s the line you got to wait for. The priest is going to say: “Speak now or forever
hold your peace”. And that’s where you say: “I object”. -I don’t have time for this. -Wait, wait. What
are you doing? Listen to me! Look, you love this woman, don’t you? -Yes. -You want to hold her!
-Yes. -Please her! -Yes! Then you got to, got to try a little tender love. -The chicks love that romantic
crap. -All right. Cut it out. When does this guy say the line? We got to check it out. And as so by the
power of these two… What do you see? -I now pronounce you… -There they go! -…he all ready said
it. -Oh, for ‘the love of pit’. I object! Shrek? Oh, now what does he want? Hi, everyone. Having a
good time, aren’t you? I love Duloc, first of all. Very clean. -What are you doing here? -Really, it’s
rude enough being alive, when no one wants you. But showing up uninvited to a wedding… -Fiona! I
need to talk to you. -Oh, now you wanna talk? Well it’s a little late for that. So if you’ll excuse me.
-But you can’t marry him! -And why not? Because, because he’s just marrying you so he can be
king. -Outrageous! Fiona, don’t listen to him. -He’s not your true love. -What do you know about
true love? -Well, I …I’m in… Oh, this is precious. The Ogre has fallen in love with the princess.
Laugh. Shrek. Is this true? Who cares. It’s preposterious. Fiona, my love, we gonna kiss away for
our happily ever after. Now kiss me! By night one way, by day another. I wanted to show you before.
Well. That explains a lot. Oh. It’s disgusting. Guards, guards. I order you to get them out of my sight.
-Now! Get them! Get them, both! -No! This marriage is minding, and that makes me king. See? See?
-Shrek! -No. -Don’t just stand there, you dogs. -Get out of my way. No! Shrek! -And as for you my
wife. -Fiona! I’ll have you locked back in that tower for the rest of your days! I will have order. I will
have potential. I will have… All right, nobody move! I got a dragon here and I’m not afraid to use it.
I’m a donkey on the edge! Celebrity marriages. They never last, do they? Go ahead Shrek. -Fiona?
-Yes, Shrek? I love you. Really? Really, really. I love you too. A time for true love’s first kiss… Fiona?
Fiona? Are you all right? Yes. But I don’t understand. I’m supposed to be beautiful. But you are
beautiful. I was hoping this would be a happy ending. God bless us, everyone.
Successful 백링크 작업 involves ongoing effort and strategy.