First Name: Ashley
Age: 18
Gender/Pronouns: Female
Sexuality: Lesbian
Region/Area: Dayton, OH
Race/Ethnicity: White
Overall, my experience was positive, but there were definitely some that really weren’t. The ones that weren’t positive were the ones that stuck the most.
First Name: Anonymous
Age: 20
Gender/Pronouns: –
Sexuality: Asexual
Region/Area: Cincinnati
Race/Ethnicity: White
Actually coming out for the first time went really well. I told my two best friends at the time over text, and they were both lovely and supportive, asking me how long I knew, telling me it was awesome, etc. Problems only came later when one of those friends would like low-key invalidate me when I came out to other people around her. I remember once I mentioned being ace to one of her friends, who straight up just replied “I don’t believe you” and instead of backing me up, my friend laughed and said “don’t worry, I think she’s just a lesbian in denial about it” so that was. really fun. Nowadays I have better friends and many of them are ace themselves so coming out has been very chill.
First Name: Anonymous
Age: 18
Gender/Pronouns: Female
Sexuality: Queer
Region/Area: Eastern Kentucky
Race/Ethnicity: White
I never had any sort of formal coming out. The first person I told was a friend from summer camp; I think I was in the 8th grade. We were texting and I was like “hey btw I’m not straight.” I identified as bisexual for a few years, and the only people who knew were my friends from camp. I started going to a new high school junior year and I didn’t hide my sexuality. My best friend told me a few weeks ago how she knew I wasn’t straight. I had downloaded tinder and had both guys and girls on the app. So when she found out it was a very casual setting, I didn’t even say anything. With most of my other friends, I would say/do something kinda gay and they would say “oh you’re gay?” I would say yes and that was it. Later on, I clarified to my friends that I think a better term for me is queer, but I wasn’t really comfortable with labels. I haven’t told my family, but they are definitely suspicious.
First Name: Anonymous
Age: 18
Gender/Pronouns: Female
Sexuality: Queer
Region/Area: Central Ohio
Race/Ethnicity: White
The first time I came out to anyone was January of my senior year to my best friend. I went to a Christian school, so I had a lot of internalized homophobia that took years to overcome. I’m out to a lot of my friends now, but I still am not and never will be out to my family.
First Name: Allicen
Age: 17
Gender/Pronouns: Female
Sexuality: Bisexual
Region/Area: Casey County
Race/Ethnicity: White
I came out to my mom the summer after eighth grade while I was away at a summer camp. I had finally met people that I connected with and that made me feel comfortable with who I am. She took it really well and said she’d never look at me differently and that my sexuality didn’t change her love for me. A year or two later she even got a tattoo that incorporated a rainbow and said that I was part of the reason she chose it. I’ll always be thankful for the support she gave me and continues to give me. I came out to my dad (my parents are divorced) on my 15th birthday. It was by far the worst birthday I’ve ever had. He’s a die-hard Christian with pretty old school beliefs, and at the time was a devout Catholic (now just protestant but that doesn’t matter). You can imagine how he took it. I was yelled out, had the bible read to me- specifically the part that says I’m going to hell- and he spent the whole night crying. He just kept saying that he tried so hard to raise kids well as a single dad and didn’t know how I couldn’t have ended up normal. He asked how I could already know I liked p*ssy and if I just spent my time sinfully lusting after women. The whole time he said that he was having the reaction that he was because he loved me, that he was just upset that I would burn for eternity and that his parenting had landed him a child like this. I knew he wouldn’t be happy, but honestly I thought he’d be somewhat understanding considering I’m his child. It was heartbreaking. And although I knew that it was ok to be bisexual, for a long time and sometimes even now I feel ashamed of it, like I’m committing a sin that’s actually going to land me in hell. It hurt so much that I spent a long time just praying that I could be “normal” and that my dad and I could move on with life like we did before. He’s now more accepting of it; he still changes the topic when it’s brought up and voices how he hopes I won’t end up with a woman, but he keeps it more to himself. We’ve in a way come to a mutual agreement to just pretend like that part of me doesn’t exist. While it isn’t ideal, it’s better than a rocky relationship with him.
First Name: Raychel
Age: 17
Gender/Pronouns: Nonbinary
Sexuality: Queer
Region/Area: Northern Kentucky
Race/Ethnicity: White
I came out for the first time when I was 15, two years after I realized I was queer. I came out originally as bisexual to one of my best friends at the time, although now I identify as queer. The next person I came out to was my Spanish teacher, and then my older cousin. Just after I moved from my school in northern KY to my current school in Bowling Green, KY, I came out to several of my home school friends via my private story on Instagram. I never really had to come out as queer at my current school; I just lived as out. I came out for the first time as nonbinary in January 2020 when I was 16, about a year after I started consciously questioning my gender identity. I was at my current school but I called my cousin (same as mentioned before). The next person I came out to, in March 2020 (before being sent home for Covid), was one of my closest friends that I made at my current school. The third person I came out to was another trans person from my current school, which was refreshing. I came out to all of my close friends during quarantine, either through text or Instagram private story, to let them know that I’d be using they/them pronouns from then on. All of my coming out experiences (both as queer and as nonbinary) were either positive or neutral, although many people have struggled to get my pronouns right. Most of them are slowly but surely improving. I am out as nonbinary at my current school and use they/them pronouns here, except for with my teachers as I’m afraid they might be transphobic and treat me unfairly. I have not yet come out to my parents or any immediate family members / extended relatives besides the older cousin mentioned. I expect to get negative responses from my parents, but I believe they will come around eventually.
First Name: Shaylyn
Age: 16
Gender/Pronouns: Female
Sexuality: Bisexual
Region/Area: South Central Kentucky
Race/Ethnicity: White
i was outed by my brother to my parents. i was outed at school because my girlfriend cheated on me and the girl she cheated on me with told everyone.
Note: Shaylyn was interviewed here.
First Name: Sofie
Age: 17
Gender/Pronouns: Female
Sexuality: Queer
Region/Area: Central Kentucky
Race/Ethnicity: White
I came out at home first, which I know isn’t super typical. I knew my parents would be super supportive as they had several gay friends that would visit when I was growing up and those people were always treated kindly. I was out at home for about a year before I started telling a couple of close friends. Eventually, I began talking to this girl at my school and we started dating. She was already pretty public about her sexuality, so I agreed to be public as well. I didn’t really have a formal coming out with other people at my school and it was more of just I was dating this other girl and people knew.
Note: Sofie was interviewed here.