Bisexual

Response 19

| Olivia

Demographics

First Name: Katie

Age: 21

Gender/Pronouns: Nonbinary (she/her or they/them)

Sexuality: Bisexual

Region/Area: moved around often

Race/Ethnicity: White, Greek

Story

I realized I was part of the community when I was about 14 but really knew when I was 15. I then met my first girlfriend and was happy exploring but was not ready to come out to family yet. I came out to my sister sometime while I was 15. A few months later my dad found out I was dating a girl (first gf) who I had around as my friend for months by then because we had a shared iCloud and he started reading my texts. He confronted me and said gf one evening and threatened to call the police on her as she was 18 and I was 16 and he claimed we had sex (I lived in NY and 17 is the age of consent). My gf left the house, I ran outside, and my dad proceeded to chase me around the house at night. He sat down with me the same night and said that he understood I was born this way and I couldn’t change and asked if I was gay or how I identified. I memory blocked a lot from that night but I think he took my computer phone etc all forms of communication because I remember sneaking onto the family computer to post on a tumblr page that I was still alive or something. The next day he completely ignored me. I wrote a letter explaining everything and sat down to give it to him. He read it and then basically invalidated everything and said told me that he was in charge/control over me now but that when I turned 18 I could go and become a prostitute for all he cared. The letter was to both of my parents but I found out much later my mom wasn’t aware it existed. She didn’t know what was going on the entire time throughout this. Later the same day/week my dad brought me into his room, closed the door, and proceeded to tell me why being who I am was not okay. He told his 15 year old that if someone put his grandchildren in front of him and told him to shoot one and one was adopted and one was related by blood to him that he would shoot the adopted one. I heard every bi stereotype under the sun like that I would have a wife and a boyfriend in the future or a husband and a girlfriend at the same time. It was an absolutely dreadful experience to be locked into a room with someone telling you such horrible assumptions about who you are and who you will become. Not to mention the realization from this process that I could no longer trust my dad. My mom later found out as well and told me that I shouldn’t tell anyone in the family about it or any other friends or family I honestly don’t know what her excuse was for that but I feel like that one is pretty common. They also forced me to break up with my girlfriend at the time which obviously didn’t stop me from being gay lol. I started dating a trans guy later the next year and that was an entirely separate kind of story but not exactly coming out. I am still slowly coming out to my extended family at 21 and still trying to undo the trauma. So happy to see progress in the world and meet people with good stories but mine was certainly not a good one. Because of this I hope to get involved with lgbt youth in the future because I know how hard the anticipation can be before coming out when you expect a bad outcome, as well as how a relatively bad outcome can actually be to live with. I was lucky that I was able to continue having a home and friends and siblings that supported me throughout.

Response 21

| Olivia

Demographics

First Name: Olivia

Age: 22

Gender/Pronouns: Female

Sexuality: Bisexual

Region/Area: Columbus, OH

Race/Ethnicity: White

Story

It was rough because my dad growing up was super racist/homophobic so I thought he’d hate me but it ended up being really good! I came out on Facebook and my entire family was super supportive and kind about it.

Response 20

| Olivia

Demographics

First Name: Lauryn

Age: 21

Gender/Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: Bisexual

Region/Area: Grove City, OH

Race/Ethnicity: White

Story

I was caught by my highschool girlfriends mom and she forced me to tell my parents or else I couldn’t see her anymore so obviously I did and when I did my mom was devastated. She cried asked how I knew, asked if I’d kissed a girl, asked if I knew if it would pass. Then she forced me to tell my strict Catholic father who accused me of not being his daughter and threatened to not let me go to college and also compared me and my girlfriend with pedophiles and people who have sexual relationships with animals (idk if there’s a name for it) so they made me break up with her and I dated a boy for 4 years after that but then I broke up with him and had to come out ONCE again to my mom cuz I am now 9 months into my new relationship with a girl I met in college (dad and extended family don’t know) but all my friends and my brother and my teachers and even coaches know. Guess dad will find out eventually again.

Response 18

| Olivia

Demographics

First Name: Jacob

Age: 21

Gender/Pronouns: Male (he/him)

Sexuality: Bisexual

Region/Area: Dayton, OH

Race/Ethnicity: White

Story

I came out as gay for a while and told my family and friends. Most were supportive and I ran into no issues. I never told my best friend because he always made me feel like he was homophobic. I got to college and started dating guys and at the end of my freshman year began a sexual relationship with a girl. After this I determined I was probably bisexual because I had like all but my first sexual experience. My first was with a girl and was around the time I started noticing guys which made me believe I was gay. After explaining to people I was bisexual this is where I felt the most discriminated many people told me I was confused or my conservative background forced me back into the closet. Some of my friends who were very supportive of me being gay were concerned about me being bisexual. I had a girlfriend tell me I wasn’t bi at all and told many people who knew about me coming out that I was just bicurious at the time and have it all figured out now.

Response 14

| Olivia

Demographics

First Name: Natalie

Age: 18

Gender/Pronouns: Female (she/her)

Sexuality: Bisexual

Region/Area: Louisville, KY

Race/Ethnicity: White

Story

When I came out to my friends, they were all very accepting. I came out to my parents 3 years after my brother also came out as bi. My family is pretty liberal, but they often questioned my brother about whether he was sure, whether he was just gay/straight, etc. When I came out, my parents were more comfortable with the idea, and were pretty accepting. My mother said she knew from my hints, and asked me if I would ever marry a woman, and I responded that I would. She said she grew up with sisters and could never think of them like that, to which I responded yes, because they’re your sisters, and that’s incest. Later that day, she came into my room and cried about potentially not having grandchildren. In June, she bought us a piece of rainbow cake for pride month. My dad never spoke to me directly about it, besides saying “okay”, but will occasionally repost things advocating for the LGBT community on facebook.

Response 13

| Olivia

Demographics

First Name: Shay

Age: 19

Gender/Pronouns: Female (she/they)

Sexuality: Bisexual

Region/Area: Eastern Kentucky

Race/Ethnicity: White

Story

I came out in February of my junior year in hs. I came out as soon as I realized that I was bi, as I had experienced several years of compulsive heterosexuality and didn’t think about it for a long time. Coming out to my friends and peers was easy, but my family not so much. My parents didn’t disown me, but they still don’t accept it. They just pretend it’s not true. I have a boyfriend now, so it’s easy for them to pretend I’m straight.

Response 5

| Olivia

Demographics

First Name: Allicen

Age: 17

Gender/Pronouns: Female

Sexuality: Bisexual

Region/Area: Casey County

Race/Ethnicity: White

Story

I came out to my mom the summer after eighth grade while I was away at a summer camp. I had finally met people that I connected with and that made me feel comfortable with who I am. She took it really well and said she’d never look at me differently and that my sexuality didn’t change her love for me. A year or two later she even got a tattoo that incorporated a rainbow and said that I was part of the reason she chose it. I’ll always be thankful for the support she gave me and continues to give me. I came out to my dad (my parents are divorced) on my 15th birthday. It was by far the worst birthday I’ve ever had. He’s a die-hard Christian with pretty old school beliefs, and at the time was a devout Catholic (now just protestant but that doesn’t matter). You can imagine how he took it. I was yelled out, had the bible read to me- specifically the part that says I’m going to hell- and he spent the whole night crying. He just kept saying that he tried so hard to raise kids well as a single dad and didn’t know how I couldn’t have ended up normal. He asked how I could already know I liked p*ssy and if I just spent my time sinfully lusting after women. The whole time he said that he was having the reaction that he was because he loved me, that he was just upset that I would burn for eternity and that his parenting had landed him a child like this. I knew he wouldn’t be happy, but honestly I thought he’d be somewhat understanding considering I’m his child. It was heartbreaking. And although I knew that it was ok to be bisexual, for a long time and sometimes even now I feel ashamed of it, like I’m committing a sin that’s actually going to land me in hell. It hurt so much that I spent a long time just praying that I could be “normal” and that my dad and I could move on with life like we did before. He’s now more accepting of it; he still changes the topic when it’s brought up and voices how he hopes I won’t end up with a woman, but he keeps it more to himself. We’ve in a way come to a mutual agreement to just pretend like that part of me doesn’t exist. While it isn’t ideal, it’s better than a rocky relationship with him.

Response 3

| Olivia

Demographics

First Name: Shaylyn

Age: 16

Gender/Pronouns: Female

Sexuality: Bisexual

Region/Area: South Central Kentucky

Race/Ethnicity: White

Story

i was outed by my brother to my parents. i was outed at school because my girlfriend cheated on me and the girl she cheated on me with told everyone.

Note: Shaylyn was interviewed here.

Response 1

| Olivia

Demographics

First Name: Anonymous

Age: 17

Gender/Pronouns: Female

Sexuality: Bi and Demi

Region/Area: Jefferson County

Race/Ethnicity: –

Story

The first person I told about my sexuality was my best friend. She lives more than 5 hours away from me, so I rarely see her. I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable, and I didn’t know how she felt about LGBT+.

When I told her she was actually very supportive. She helped me realize not to ever feel bad about telling people I trust about who I am, and that it’s okay to not want to be out to everyone just yet. I’m not ready to come out to my family; but that experience helped me be true to who I am at school.