Response 6

Demographics

First Name: Anonymous

Age: 17

Gender/Pronouns: Female

Sexuality: Questioning

Region/Area: Louisville

Race/Ethnicity: South Asian (Indian)

Story

I haven’t come out to my parents yet, but I am very open about my sexuality with my friends. I wouldn’t say there was necessarily a coming out, when it comes to my friends, so much as casual mentions for the first time. With my cousin, who I consider one of my best friends, we were FaceTiming one day and I brought it up and told her, but it wasn’t much of a big deal. My sister, however, is a different story. While I always knew that she would be accepting, I was always reluctant to tell her, partially because I knew she wouldn’t fully understand. She asked me a few times if I was bi, probably because I give off quite a few gay vibes if you’re paying attention. I always said no, however, because I wanted to tell her on my own terms. I was scared that she would make a big deal of it, when to me it’s really not a big deal, but rather just another part of me, just as much as liking chocolate or being good at math. It wasn’t until recently, about two weeks ago, actually, that I finally came out to her. It wasn’t planned at all, but rather a spur of the moment thing. We were talking about something and I kinda just blurted out, “I like girls.” We had a short discussion about it, which, if I’m being completely honest, I wasn’t very satisfied with, and then didn’t talk about it much for the rest of the day. Since then, there have been casual mentions on my part, but not much from her. I know I’m lucky that she’s so accepting, but I can’t help but wish that she was more understanding of my side of it.

Response 5

Demographics

First Name: Allicen

Age: 17

Gender/Pronouns: Female

Sexuality: Bisexual

Region/Area: Casey County

Race/Ethnicity: White

Story

I came out to my mom the summer after eighth grade while I was away at a summer camp. I had finally met people that I connected with and that made me feel comfortable with who I am. She took it really well and said she’d never look at me differently and that my sexuality didn’t change her love for me. A year or two later she even got a tattoo that incorporated a rainbow and said that I was part of the reason she chose it. I’ll always be thankful for the support she gave me and continues to give me. I came out to my dad (my parents are divorced) on my 15th birthday. It was by far the worst birthday I’ve ever had. He’s a die-hard Christian with pretty old school beliefs, and at the time was a devout Catholic (now just protestant but that doesn’t matter). You can imagine how he took it. I was yelled out, had the bible read to me- specifically the part that says I’m going to hell- and he spent the whole night crying. He just kept saying that he tried so hard to raise kids well as a single dad and didn’t know how I couldn’t have ended up normal. He asked how I could already know I liked p*ssy and if I just spent my time sinfully lusting after women. The whole time he said that he was having the reaction that he was because he loved me, that he was just upset that I would burn for eternity and that his parenting had landed him a child like this. I knew he wouldn’t be happy, but honestly I thought he’d be somewhat understanding considering I’m his child. It was heartbreaking. And although I knew that it was ok to be bisexual, for a long time and sometimes even now I feel ashamed of it, like I’m committing a sin that’s actually going to land me in hell. It hurt so much that I spent a long time just praying that I could be “normal” and that my dad and I could move on with life like we did before. He’s now more accepting of it; he still changes the topic when it’s brought up and voices how he hopes I won’t end up with a woman, but he keeps it more to himself. We’ve in a way come to a mutual agreement to just pretend like that part of me doesn’t exist. While it isn’t ideal, it’s better than a rocky relationship with him.

Response 4

Demographics

First Name: Raychel

Age: 17

Gender/Pronouns: Nonbinary

Sexuality: Queer

Region/Area: Northern Kentucky

Race/Ethnicity: White

Story

I came out for the first time when I was 15, two years after I realized I was queer. I came out originally as bisexual to one of my best friends at the time, although now I identify as queer. The next person I came out to was my Spanish teacher, and then my older cousin. Just after I moved from my school in northern KY to my current school in Bowling Green, KY, I came out to several of my home school friends via my private story on Instagram. I never really had to come out as queer at my current school; I just lived as out. I came out for the first time as nonbinary in January 2020 when I was 16, about a year after I started consciously questioning my gender identity. I was at my current school but I called my cousin (same as mentioned before). The next person I came out to, in March 2020 (before being sent home for Covid), was one of my closest friends that I made at my current school. The third person I came out to was another trans person from my current school, which was refreshing. I came out to all of my close friends during quarantine, either through text or Instagram private story, to let them know that I’d be using they/them pronouns from then on. All of my coming out experiences (both as queer and as nonbinary) were either positive or neutral, although many people have struggled to get my pronouns right. Most of them are slowly but surely improving. I am out as nonbinary at my current school and use they/them pronouns here, except for with my teachers as I’m afraid they might be transphobic and treat me unfairly. I have not yet come out to my parents or any immediate family members / extended relatives besides the older cousin mentioned. I expect to get negative responses from my parents, but I believe they will come around eventually.

Response 3

Demographics

First Name: Shaylyn

Age: 16

Gender/Pronouns: Female

Sexuality: Bisexual

Region/Area: South Central Kentucky

Race/Ethnicity: White

Story

i was outed by my brother to my parents. i was outed at school because my girlfriend cheated on me and the girl she cheated on me with told everyone.

Note: Shaylyn was interviewed here.

Response 2

Demographics

First Name: Sofie

Age: 17

Gender/Pronouns: Female

Sexuality: Queer

Region/Area: Central Kentucky

Race/Ethnicity: White

Story

I came out at home first, which I know isn’t super typical. I knew my parents would be super supportive as they had several gay friends that would visit when I was growing up and those people were always treated kindly. I was out at home for about a year before I started telling a couple of close friends. Eventually, I began talking to this girl at my school and we started dating. She was already pretty public about her sexuality, so I agreed to be public as well. I didn’t really have a formal coming out with other people at my school and it was more of just I was dating this other girl and people knew.

Note: Sofie was interviewed here.

Response 1

Demographics

First Name: Anonymous

Age: 17

Gender/Pronouns: Female

Sexuality: Bi and Demi

Region/Area: Jefferson County

Race/Ethnicity: –

Story

The first person I told about my sexuality was my best friend. She lives more than 5 hours away from me, so I rarely see her. I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable, and I didn’t know how she felt about LGBT+.

When I told her she was actually very supportive. She helped me realize not to ever feel bad about telling people I trust about who I am, and that it’s okay to not want to be out to everyone just yet. I’m not ready to come out to my family; but that experience helped me be true to who I am at school.