From Student Conduct’s Director: Preparing for the First Year: A Conversation Worth Having

August 18, 2025
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August always brings a flood of social media posts from friends packing up their kids for college. After more than twenty years in Higher Education—many of those in Student Conduct—I’m often asked for advice. So, I’m using this space to share some of the conversations I’ve had with friends and their students.

Let’s start with how to prepare for the first year.

Talk.

In a word: talk. Talk about what’s ahead with the goal of building shared expectations—ones that  respect your student’s growing independence. Discuss your values. Ask your student about their hopes and worries. Talk about their strengths and areas for growth.

Here are five topics I recommend covering. You don’t need to tackle them all at once—one topic per trip to Target or Walmart should do the trick:

  1. Alcohol and other drugs
  2. What to do when there’s trouble – “You can always call home”
  3. Managing conflict
  4. Joining organizations and the risks of hazing
  5. Location tracking – “will you or won’t you”

Let your student do most of the talking. It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it. In this post, I am going to offer some additional insight into those first two topics.

Alcohol and Other Drugs

First, put your own college experiences in a box. Tape it shut. Resist the urge to open it. Why? Because things have changed.

If you drank in college—maybe a lot—you might look back with nostalgia, regret, or relief. But today’s students face a different landscape. The drinks are stronger: hard liquor, seltzers, and high-alcohol craft beers are common. And many students aren’t eating much before going out, which increases risk.

Cannabis is also more potent. Whether smoked, vaped, or consumed as edibles, today’s THC levels are significantly higher than what many parents encountered.

So, your past experience isn’t a reliable guide. Instead, help your student learn harm-reduction strategies. Two excellent resources are:

If you abstained or drank lightly and want your student to do the same, share that expectation. Explain your reasons and the benefits you experienced. But keep the door open for your student to make different choices—and make sure they know they can call you if they need help.

“You Can Always Call Home”

Talk about how you’ll stay in touch. Your student may not want to text all day like they did in high school. Consider setting up a weekly FaceTime or Zoom call. Let them know you’d love to hear from them more often, but most importantly, make sure they know:

They can always call home.

If they bomb a midterm.
If they get written up for alcohol.
If they get cited for an open container on game day.
If anything goes wrong—they can call.

You might be disappointed or upset. But after a few deep breaths, they should know you’ll support them as they figure things out.

In Student Conduct, we often ask students if they’ve talked to a parent—not because they have to, but because keeping a misstep secret can delay learning and growth.

Those are my thoughts for now. In a future post, I will share insight on managing conflict and joining organizations and how to manage “location sharing” with your student.

For now – best of luck with move-in! Go Bucks!