There are many challenges that come with being a nurse, but even after almost four and a half years, I find difficult patients and families one of the hardest aspects to the job. For new nurses, it is definitely something that takes getting used to. From my own personal experiences, here are some best practices that can help you to have a fair mindset when dealing with difficult patients.
First and foremost, remember that being a patient is not easy for any patient. I think I have said this in prior posts, but always remember they are at their most vulnerable when they are in need of care. Just like those days when we were strung out about our Health Assessment exam and we may have taken it out on friends or family, the same thing applies to patients when they are sick! For example, a patient has been hospitalized for almost a month now, or they just found out they need open heart surgery – they are dealing with a whole mix of emotions! Whenever a patient is taking their feelings out on me, I always try to remember that I have never been in their shoes (which is a good thing!), and that they likely don’t mean to be this way and are probably just doing their best to make it home.
There’s different kinds of “difficult”; there’s the literally difficult patient where everything you say or do doesn’t make them happy; there’s the rude, inattentive patient who gets irritated by your upbeat presence; there’s the depressingly go-with-the-flow patient who doesn’t care if you give them water or juice with their morning meds; and, yes, there’s even the physically difficult patient that providing care to them is an hour-long process because there’s so much to do for them, needing one thing after the other. I’m also sure there’s many more different scenarios that I have even yet to come across that is classified as a difficult patient. It’s helpful to remember that it wouldn’t matter if you went into hospitality management or business, it’s just a part of the job. There are a lot of things we sign up for by becoming nurses, and difficult patients, and families too, are one of them.
I find that the families are the harder part to deal with, namely because they like to speak up for the patient. It is very well the case that Mrs. Smith knows what is best for your patient, Betty, her mother, because she provides care for her at home as her caregiver, us as nurses just have to know how to deal, which truly comes with experience. The best piece of advice I can say in such situations is to keep a smile on your face and a calm attitude and not let it affect the care you are providing to your patient. I have been victim in the past for letting my frustrations show at times (and I always end up feeling terrible about doing so!) when a patient’s family member is asking a million questions during a discharge when all I want to do is send them home and get back to the millions of things else I have to do! In this particular case, especially when discharging a patient, making sure they know everything that is expected of them and have all their needs taken care of is extremely important – this is usually why people are readmitted to the hospital – so I always try to remind myself of that because at the end of the day, your patient’s health and safety falls in your hands!
There are so many more situations and specific examples I can talk about, but I’ll keep it short for now. As aforementioned, most aspects to this profession come with experience and patience truly is a virtue :). Just remember, no matter how difficult a patient was for you, nursing is still the most rewarding thing to do!
Sydney Adelstein is a 2016 graduate of The Ohio State University College of Nursing.