Working through COVID-19. Honestly, I have no words to describe it. Although, when people ask me how things have been I tell them that here in Cleveland it hasn’t been like what is shown on television; and for that I am thankful. However, that doesn’t mean it hasn’t been stressful and feel like a bad nightmare we cannot shake. It seems like that is what this whole year has been like for everyone.

There has been many changes, which are still ongoing and working through, and may be the hardest aspect of it all. For example, when the world started shutting down our visitor policy was restricted and no visitors were allowed. As cases started increasing, the visitor policies and our work environment began to shift. I can’t tell you how many emails I received regarding updates to the visitor policy. I would be lying if I said that it wasn’t nice for us to do our work distraction-free without the patient’s family members and friends. However, all I could think about was how hard it must have been for these patients to be in the hospital – some for very long periods – with the only human contact being via FaceTime (other than us). It has also been extremely hard to watch some patients pass away from COVID without their family members present. I watched my coworkers muster up courage to stand garbed in personal protective equipment holding the patient’s hand until they took their last breath as the patient’s family members were viewing virtually.

COVID-19 has taken a clear emotional and mental toll on everyone regardless of whether they work in health care or not. It hasn’t been easy donning and doffing 30 times a day or floating to other units to accommodate staffing changes, but even though right now it is hard to process this “coronavirus nightmare”, I hope this time next year life will be somewhat more back to normal and light can be shed. I do know that my love and passion for nursing has not been diminished, and if anything, my calling could not have been truer than ever, and I hope my fellow coworkers around the world feel the same way.

Sydney Adelstein is a 2016 graduate of The Ohio State University College of Nursing.