During these trying times, it is extremely difficult for many of us to aim towards our future when we are struggling to manage the present. Families are falling victim to diseases, losing loved ones, facing financial difficulties, trouble maintaining a healthy lifestyle, and many other challenges that pose a threat to their physical and mental health. Although everyone is capable of handling a few stressors at a time, it is definitely not advisable to have a constant build-up of these stressors and overshadowing negativity. Therefore, as someone who has experienced high levels of anxiety, I thought this would be a good opportunity to learn and better understand the methods to managing my stress.
My Self-Care Plan, which includes the various methods I plan to use to destress
As an Asian & Pacific Islander American Scholar (APIA Scholars), I had the opportunity to attend the Self-Care and Stress Management webinar hosted by Karla Chin, director of Total Well-Being at Exude. There, I felt myself connecting with countless individuals as we shared our stories on the powerful effects of expectations, perception, and self-care. How does the expectations set by ourselves or by others influence our actions? How does our perception of a situation affect the outcome? What is the difference between self-care and self-soothing? How can we practice the four foundational components of self-care? Through these questions and the follow-up Self-Care Plan, I was able to begin truthfully analyzing my own feelings and find ways to ease the stress that I placed on myself.
I have always held my negative emotions inside and portrayed myself as constantly being cheerful and carefree, but I realized that this is really unhealthy for the body and mind. I noticed that many times, I would project my frustrations and anxiety towards my family and friends due to my pent-up feelings. Instead of letting my emotions take control, Karla has taught me to become self-aware and self-compassionate by being honest with myself. The person that knows myself the best is me, so it is important that I understand my own thoughts, strengths, vulnerabilities, and values as well as acknowledging my feelings rather than punishing myself with self-criticism. It is also crucial to be self-responsible for my thoughts and actions, and maintain self-trust to build a healthy relationship with myself.
“Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.” When Karla mentioned this, it truly spoke to me. Although no one wants to feel pain, everyone is bound to encounter a form of pain through various unpleasant and stressful experiences in the world. However, what makes the difference between pain and suffering is that pain is the event that triggers the response, while suffering is the result of our perception of pain. If we are able to grasp the situation and do the best we can (knowing that we gave it our best), many of these negative feelings could be avoided. Also, it is important to create high but realistically achievable goals to prevent defeats and the constant feeling of not being able to accomplish anything. Sometimes, it is ok to celebrate the minor events in life. Whether it is learning from a mistake, trying something new, or mustering up the courage to be different, these are all opportunities for us to embrace the pain and grow from it.
Overall, Karla Chin’s presentation was extremely impactful. I have never felt so deeply connected with others about my own emotions, and this experience allowed me to comfortably share and compare my own thoughts with my peers. Although we are currently in a time with many facing hardships beyond words, it is important for people to be understand that what happens to them is out of their control, but what they do have control over are their own thoughts and actions, which ultimately determines how they cope with the situation. Moving on, I hope to incorporate these lessons into my daily routine to build a healthier lifestyle. While the future is uncertain, I hope to continue growing and simply enjoy the moment.