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I am so excited that you are excited about negative space drawings Kendra! Conceptually I think they can be quite powerful, and I think it creates a really interesting translation of your collage, combining something simple into something complex. By removing details from the figures I think the negative space becomes something you can insert many people at once into… I would be interested in hearing more about your thoughts about this too.
I do think the collage was a useful tool for you to create this second drawing, but I do think the collage itself needs something more to stand alone as its own piece of art. I think you can mix / interweave/ integrate the images you chose a bit more. I also think you could find more images to incorporate so that there is no white space in the background. Consider this image by Romare Bearden that we looked at in the lecture ( https://www.wvxu.org/sites/wvxu/files/styles/medium/public/202002/romare_bearden_work.jpg ) and how while there are many disjointed things happening in the same scene, they are integrated into one space. It might be matter of finding out what is the background of your collage and fitting these images into it…. you solve this with the negative space drawing, but I still think there is a way to push it even more!