As I see it, I am a weird, slightly smudged, blend of many colors that I’ve picked up along the way in my life. There’s some pet hair wound in there, too. The proverbial paints that have been splashed on me often cause momentary blindness, but they eventually work their way into the art I am learning to love.
I am made of bright colors. My family, in all their weirdness, has added so many colors. The big moments, like birthdays and parties are easy to remember, but they are not what have added to me. Every holiday spent lazing about in pajamas, every late-night Star Trek binge, every failed attempt at a fancy food, every night spent raising baby animals – were all done together. I would not be me without them. I would not be me if not for the mark that has been left by my non-human family. There is no way to explain the unconditional connection I’ve known with animals – other than as a constantly furry, slobbery part of my soul. So many friendships, long and short, have added their own little pops of color.
I am made of dark colors. The fear of losing my sister to cancer or brain damage the darkest – and yet it is shimmery. The journey to keeping her here is shimmery because it may have been hard, but it was not all bad. Stars shine in the night sky, and I gained many colors along the way. Losing touch with someone I used to see as a role model has added a new darkness recently, but it too shall be blended in. The pain I felt for years is still prominent in my canvas of today: it is a fight I will never forget.
I am a rainbow. I am BuckeyeThon, I am nerdiness, I am nerdiness, I am science, I am blue, I am Cinderella, I am ME. And I’m learning to love me.