When I went to New York University in the great city of Manhattan, I would frequently ride the subway to and from many different destinations. The subway for me was incredibly invigorating as I had grown up in a largely rural city in the Midwest. I loved everything about the subway. I loved the people, the fast paced hustling and bustling under the city, the live performers, and even the cat sized rats. Yes you heard me correctly!! Growing up in a small midwestern city racism was all around all the time. The first time I can account being called the N word by a white person was when I was 9. I was riding my bike down the street on my way to my Grandma’s house when a white man in a pickup truck with a confederate flag mounted to the back of it, rolled down his window and screamed at me “you n***** boy.” As a 9 year old I was already becoming accustomed to the overt racism of the Midwest, as my peers got older and started spewing similar rhetoric taught to them by their parents. Things were different in New York City. New York City felt like the true “melting pot” that America is often referred to but fails to live up to. New York felt much different than home. I would soon come to find out that this feeling might not be true after all.
One evening I am headed to a broadway show, Dear Evan Hansen to be exact for any of the other theatre lovers, I go down the stairs at the Broadway station to wait for the NQRW train headed uptown to 49th street. I get on the train and head uptown the attend my broadway show that I have been waiting for son long to see. I have just found out that Ben Platt the leading actor will be on and so I am full of excitement! I get on the train and sit down next to a white family, a mother and her two kids. One is an infant and one looks to be no older than 5 years old. I put my headphones in and blast the Dear Evan Hansen sound track as preparation for the show I was getting ready to see. A few minutes go past and I look over and the mother is staring directly at me. I knew this was not uncommon in New York City so I smiled and waved at her and did the same at her kids. She then quickly pulls the 5 year old boy close to her and turns the other way with the baby in her arms. I think nothing of this and just go back to listening to my music. Moments later the train stops at 34th street herald square where some passengers get off and free up two open seats. The woman grabs both of her kids and frantically goes and plops down next to an older white male. I found this incredibly disturbing and honestly wondered if I had smelled bad but nonetheless I don’t think too much of it and go on to watch a great show that night.
So I pose you the question before I tell you the answer, “yo is this racist?” I am not good at suspense the answer is YES! Before I go into detail here is a small clip:
If you have no yet figured it out. The reason this is racist is because of you guessed it, “Micro Aggressions.” This video focuses on comments or statements as micro aggressions but they can also be non-verbal similar to the experience I listed above with the white lady on the subway. Micro Aggressions are hard to articulate for many people of color because there is no immediately visible harm to that person of color but after many years of micro aggressions it can have an immense impact on the psyche of the person. I think most importantly though micro-aggressions have the ability to perpetuate a sort of identity crisis for people of color, more specifically, black people in the United States.
I know you are wondering by now what I mean by an “Identity Crisis” for black people? I am so glad you asked. There is this thing called “Dual and or Double Consciousness” by one of the great African American scholars name W.E.B Dubois. And what Dubois argues is that African American’s in the United States live with two conflicting identities. One is the black identity which is the black experience and the other is the realization that the black man was only born because of the historical trauma’s of slavery and subsequently the racism the has prolonged years after it’s ending. In plainer terms, a black person experiences himself in relation to other black people and also in relation to white people. In other words, the black person has assimilated to western culture but is constantly reminded that his blackness will never be equal to whiteness. Dubois puts it pretty plainly saying black people experience a sense of “twoness” (Dubois). It is this exact “Twoness” or “Dual consciousness” that leaves many black people, including myself wondering “Who am I?”
How micro aggression fits into this equation is very simple. Because micro aggressions are subtle actions, often times unintentional, it often reminds black people of their inherent inferiority or as discussed in lecture their “othering”. One one hand they are equal under the law and should be treated as such, but on the other hand they will always be black according to societal stereotypes. As an example, growing up I always excelled in school and was apart of an elite cohort of learners at my high school called the “gifted program.” Within the black community, I was stuck up because I excelled in school and used proper English, and in my cohort I never felt I fully fit in as the only black student. It’s paradox that leaves black individuals wondering who they are and where they fit in.
As it relates to the subway story, the woman intentionally moved away from me to sit next to an older white man who she felt more comfortable sitting by. I respect as a women you have a duty and priority to protect yourself and your youth. However, I was deemed a threat in her mind because I am a black male. Although I believe it was her unconscious bias at play, it still negatively affected me for a long period after that. This is systemic issue in the United States that has increasingly contributed to the system of racism as a whole that continues to work to hold people of color in a socioeconomic situation that has not change in many decades.
This my friends is why this is racist and also why it is incredibly harmful for the black community. Last I want to leave two articles one on Micro Aggressions and the other on Unconscious bias so we can continue to be better!
https://builtin.com/diversity-inclusion/unconscious-bias-examples
https://www.vox.com/2015/2/16/8031073/what-are-microaggressions
DuBois, W. E. B. The Souls of Black Folk. New York, NY: Penguin Books, 1989. Print.
This was so touching story. Yeah most of the racist comments and attitudes has some form of aggression for no reason. Basically stereotypical. The perception that they are better than you, but we are all the same. This is typically seen from our daycare centers.