Healthy Relationships

Preparing Your Cloverbud for a Successful Return to School

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This fall my oldest child, who is a newer teacher, will be welcoming a classroom of kindergarteners. I remember when I sent her off to school for the first time and the mix of emotions that comes with that milestone event. Change can be stressful for young children. When my son and a good friend started kindergarten, I was the drop off person. I ended up spending the entire morning sitting with my son’s friend because of the difficulty he had transitioning to this new environment. We reminisced about this recently as they graduated together from the same college. That first day of kindergarten was a rough one but they both made it to college graduation! This all started me thinking about what parents can do to help younger elementary children, particularly kindergarteners, have a successful school year.

PBS shares tips for parents related to change at school. One is to talk to children about their feelings when doing something new – like starting school. Sometimes these discussions with our children can point out the truth of what they are worrying about. As a parent, we may think our child is worried about making friends when really, they are worried about where the bathroom is or how they are getting home. The PBS article points out that when we do not talk about things with our children, they will use their imagination to fill in the gaps. Sometimes they will imagine the worst.

Having open discussions with your child about what to expect can help with the stress of something new. Explain what will happen, how the day will work, who else will be there. We learned early on with our son that explaining what to expect helped him deal with change. Even after the school year starts, continue to have these conversations. What is something you are excited about today? What is something that is making you nervous? Do you have any questions about anything? This open communication will help your child will allow them to know that you want to hear about the what is happening with them – both good and bad.

Sometimes when our children talk to us, it is tempting to minimize their feelings. Another tip that PBS shares is to allow your children to express their feelings. When we have empathy towards our children and listen to them, we let them know that emotions are normal. It is okay to be sad, angry, nervous and everything else that might come with navigating the school year. You can validate your child’s feelings with responses like:

  • “That sounds tough.”
  • “That is so frustrating.”
  • “If that happened to me, I would be sad, too!”

As parents, we also must remember that children cannot always name their feelings. Crying, yelling, withdrawal, acting out and regression can also be signs that something is wrong, and they need help. When my son was younger, he went through a couple weeks where he was saying not very nice things to his dad, sister, and me. At first, I thought it was that behavior that we needed to address. After some reflection, his dad and I realized that this verbal aggression was the outcome of something he was struggling with inside. Once we addressed that issue, things calmed down. It was a good lesson for me as a parent to take the time and ask questions to get to the heart of the problem.

Another great suggestion from the PBS article is to be sure that we, as parents, are aware of our own emotions. Our children are aware of our emotions and how we react can influence them. If our children see that we are not too worried about something, they will think that everything is going to be alright.

What are other practical ways that we can help children as they transition back to school? Research tells us that routines are important to children. Providing your child with predictable routines can help them feel more comfortable. Consider having regular times for meals, homework, and bedtime. Consider building fun evening routines that include time for fun and time together as a family. Make sure that your child gets a good night’s sleep.

Communicate with your child’s teacher as appropriate. Teachers see you child in a variety of situations. They can not only share with you about academic progress but also about many other parts of your child’s school experience. In elementary school, one of the questions I always asked teachers was about my children’s social growth. Did they have friends to play with on the playground or sit with at lunch? How did they interact with their peers? Your child’s teacher can be a great support.

Connecting with teachers and the school can be a great way to support your child and a way for you to meet other parents. The Centers for Disease Control suggests that “when parents participate in their child’s school activities, kids get better grades, choose healthier behaviors, and have better socials.” How can you get involved? Ask your child’s teacher how you can help in the classroom. You might be able to help a teacher prep supplies for lessons, cut out classroom decorations, or help with classroom activities. As your child gets more involved in school activities, attend those activities. Join the organizations that support your school – a PTO, Music Boosters, etc. Use your talents and interests to enhance what your child’s school offers.

Other ideas as your child goes back to school.

  • Keep transportation consistent – For kindergarteners especially, where everything is new and can be confusing, keeping transportation consistent can help them feel comfortable and confident.
  • Have a transition object – If your child is nervous about school, have something small that they can keep in their pocket or backpack to help decrease anxiety. It might be a family picture, small stuffed animal, or a favorite toy. Communicate with your child’s teacher about this object because you do not want it to become a distraction in the classroom.
  • Create a goodbye ritual – Remembering that children like routines, a goodbye ritual is a great way to consistently start the day. Have a special wave, handshake, or phrase.
  • Help them make friends – As the school year starts, consider scheduling a play date with other students in your child’s class.
  • Read books about school – Reading together as a family is a great way to build literacy. Include books about back to school. Some titles include: The Night Before Kindergarten, Llama, Llama Misses Mama, David Goes to School or Pete the Cat: Rocking in My School Shoes.

Ask open ended questions to find out about your child’s day. This allows for more conversation. I still try to practice this with my 21-year-old son. If I just ask how his day was, the answer I get “fine” and the conversation ends. Here are some examples to ask your child:

  • What did you learn today?
  • Who did you sit with at lunch?
  • What was the best thing that happened today?
  • What was the worst part of school today?
  • What was a rule that was hard to follow?

Going back to school is exciting and sometimes scary all at the same time. When we as parents, help our children with the transition back to the classroom, we can help them be successful.

References

Back to School: Ideas for Parent Involvement. (2023, August 9). Retrieved from Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. cdc.gov/healthyschools/features/B2S.htm

Dowty, A. (n.d.). Helping Your Kindergartener Adjust to School. Retrieved from Family Health Clinic. familyhconline.com/helping-your-kindergartener-adjust-to-school/

Farmer, D. (2022, January 11). Helpng Kids Handle Change at School. Retrieved from PBS Kids. pbs.org/parents/thrive/helping-kids-handle-change-at-school

 

Surviving versus Thriving: How are our 4-H Families Feeling?

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We all have felt like we are just surviving in life, it is a natural feeling. It isn’t always the picture perfect image from a storybook we have for our family, but for some this is not just a temporary stop on the journey of life. For some families, this is a way of life day in and day out that causes stress, anxiety and other health concerns on both caregivers and children. Do we as 4-H volunteers know i our families are surviving or thriving when they come to meetings?  According to www.TalkSooner.org, there are several characteristics of a Thriving Family, but we will focus on two of those: quality family time and positive supportive adults for caregivers and children.

4-H club meetings can provide both of those supportive characteristics for our families. What better time to get a family to be focused on each other and experiencing quality family time then engaging Cloverbuds and caregivers in an activity that has them working together at a club meeting.  An activity that allows for creativity and flexibility is a win-win for engaging caregivers and children in collaboration. Designing your family shield is a good activity that includes writing and drawing components.  A family shield can be printed or downloaded from the following link. https://www.nga.gov/content/dam/ngaweb/Education/learning-resources/lessons-activities/greco-roman-myths/coat-of-arms.pdf. The shield should have four sections and a banner across the bottom where you can list your family name. Caregivers and children should complete one section on the shield for each of the following prompts:

  • People we Love (Make a list)
  • Family Fun (Draw a picture)
  • People that we can Count on (Make a list)
  • How our Family Communicates (Pictures or a list)

4-H volunteers should be a positive adult role model that supports youth in their club and encourages children to explore their interests and learn new skills. As 4-H volunteers you can also be that supportive adult that a Cloverbud caregiver might need in their life to move their family from surviving to thriving. Engage caregivers in the Cloverbud experiences during your club meetings on a quarterly schedule or provide time for them to talk with another 4-H volunteer while at the club meeting. I think you can agree that we all can use another supportive adult in our lives and someone else “in your corner” when life throws you a curve ball.

Source: TalkSooner.org. (n.d.). About the thriving families campaign and the Northwest Quadrant. Retrieved on November 15, 2022, from https://talksooner.org/thrivingfamilies/

Starting Conversations with Cloverbuds

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School has started and children are adjusting to back-to-school routines.  The beginning of a new school year brings additional responsibilities, activities, anxiety, and stress.  As a trusting adult in a Cloverbud’s life, we can help our Cloverbud youth learn to manage change and talk about how they are feeling.

It can be hard to find out what is causing stress and anxiety in children. One way to begin the conversation is by using a children’s book.  When children see themselves in a book, they connect at a deeper level with the story.  Check out the Ohio 4-H Cloverbud Reading Adventures for many books with activities, snacks, games, and crafts ready to go. One book that could be used to start a conversation is The Rainbow Fish, Ohio 4-H Cloverbud Reading Adventure.

Another great technique is to simply chat with the child. Pay attention to the conversation. Sometimes it is difficult for Cloverbuds to identify the word they are feeling but they know something is different.

As you finish your 4-H year and prepare for the next, take time to reflect with your Cloverbuds.

  • What is your favorite memory from this year in 4-H?
  • What do you hope to get better at this next year?
  • What is the best thing about 4-H?
  • What do you like most about yourself?
  • What are you most excited about learning in 4-H next year?

Encourage them to find ways to seek additional opportunities to lower their stress.  Some suggestions are playing with friends, being outside, reading a book, or counting to ten and taking deep breaths.

Links for children’s books about managing stress:

Sources:
Dayton Children’s https://www.childrensdayton.org/the-hub/news-and-blog
Kids Health https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/anxiety-tips.html?ref=search
Dayton Children’s on Our Sleeves https://www.childrensdayton.org/onoursleeves

4-H Cloverbud Day Camp: Creating a Welcoming Environment

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For many young people, 4-H camp is the highlight of their year.  Filled with games, workshops, singing, and fun activities, what child wouldn’t love it?  As a 4-H camp director preparing for my 21st camping season here in Warren County, I have witnessed countless smiles and laughter of hundreds of young campers.   For many, there’s just something special about the camp experience that keep kids coming back year after year.  A question I repeatedly ask at the beginning of the camp planning season is “What training do my camp staff need in order to make this year’s camp successful and have kids want to keep coming back?”  This question is especially important when planning activities for Cloverbud campers.  Many 5-8 year old campers are experiencing camp for the first time and just beginning to spend time away from their parents and caregivers.  They are willing to exploring different social groups and learning how to master their physical skills while being open to trying new things.

The biggest contributor to camp success depends on how welcome and included campers feel, especially at the start of the experience.  Creating the camp environment needs to be intentional and well thought through with attention to the details.  Below are a few tips to include in the pre camp training of counselors and staff that will help create and sustain a welcoming environment.

Addressing Campers by Their Correct Name:   Addressing and correctly pronouncing the name of each camper is very important, especially at the beginning of camp.  When campers hear their name, especially by a camp leader, it reinforces their individual value and helps them feel important to the group.  This recognition contributes to the creation of a welcoming environment where everyone feels included.   Play lots of name games on day one.

Nonverbals Are Important:  Research shows that your body language and your tone of voice account for over 90% of what you communicate to others.  This is especially true for the young children who may be new at camp.  Pay particular attention to your body posture and eye contact when communicating with campers.  It often helps to bend down to their level and lean into the encounter.  This type of posture demonstrates that your attention is focused on them and communicates they are important and worth your time and focus.   Smiles and fist bumps are great too!

“Hands-on” Engagement:   Kids love toys and games.  Much of camp is about play and fun, but not all kids experience it in the same way.  Having a “Discovery Table” where kids can select and pick up items of interest is a great way to stimulate learning and interaction.  It is also a great distraction from unwanted feelings like homesickness and fear of not fitting in.   You can also apply this concept at the table where campers sit by covering it with craft paper and allowing them to use crayons to draw or doodle.  When you add the engagement with a table counselor, it can significantly add to creating a positive welcoming environment.

Here are some of my favorite Games to make campers feel welcome and included.

Group Juggle

The group stands in an inward facing circle and are asked to throw juggling balls amongst the group in a specific order. As the activity develops more juggling balls are introduced and the pressure to work well as a group increases.

Pick-a-Corner

Designate 4 corners around the room with 4 choices.  After you pick 4 choices around a topic or theme, ask campers to go to the designated corner that best matches their preference.  Make the topics fun.  (Example:  Favorite Food — 1. Mac and Cheese 2.  Pizza  3.  Mashed Potatoes   4.  Chicken Tenders;  Favorite Vacation spot   1.  Mountains    2.  Beach   3.  City   4.  Cruise)

Quarter Flip

Have everyone stand up.  Tell them they need to select heads or tails. (Illustrate by touching both hands on their head or their “tail”.)   Then flip the coin and call it to the group.  If they chose incorrect, instruct them to sit.  Game continues until one winner.  The winner gets to be the new caller.  Continue as time permits.

Creating a safe and inclusive environment for campers and staff is the strong foundation for a successful Cloverbud camp.  Camp is a great activity to help children transition away from depending on their parents and transfer that dependence to other caring adults.  These camp fundamentals of creating a welcoming and inclusive camp should accompany all aspects of pre-camp planning as well as all activities during the camp.

 

Sources:

Condensed Ages & Stages – Fact Sheet – 5-8years.  Retrieved from https://extension.purdue.edu/4h/Documents/1_5-8_Fact_Sheet.pdf

Games Resource:   “Find Something To Do”  (Jim Cain, 2012) Great Fun and No Prop Games for all ages

Caring for Others

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Cloverbud aged children often focus on themselves as they are forming their self-concept. As young Cloverbud children (5 – 6 years old) become 7- to 8-year-olds, they start to increase their awareness and concern for others; in particular, they can have empathy toward others. Empathy results from an increase in their emotional understanding skills as thinking abilities develop and through social experiences.  In the 4-H Cloverbud program we can help members learn to care for others and grow their empathy skills.

Certainly, it’s a good thing to care for others and be kind, but why is empathy and caring for others important for Cloverbuds? By learning to care of others, children benefit in many ways:

  • Contributes to their overall healthy development
  • Builds positive relationships with other kids and adults
  • Feel a sense of accomplishment
  • Increase their self-esteem and confidence
  • Creates a sense of belonging

As Cloverbud volunteers and advisors, how can we promote a caring attitude with our Cloverbud kids? Here are some strategies to use:

  • Model caring behavior for them to see (share, offer compliments, hold a door open)
  • Talk about your feelings to encourage them to do also (“I am tired from a busy day, but happy to be with you,” “I feel sad because a family member is sick.” – fosters empathy)
  • Thank the children when they show care towards you and others (positive reinforcement)
  • Make kindness and caring a foundation for your Cloverbud club
  • Listen to children and where they are at without passing judgement

We can all make our community a better place to live. It starts with our children and the Cloverbud program is great place for kids to learn and practice caring for others and kindness.

Building Resiliency in Cloverbuds

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Children need to develop resiliency skills starting from birth. Serving as a Cloverbud or 4-H Volunteer puts you in a prime position to continue building resiliency skills among the Cloverbud age youth in your program. Resiliency can be described as the skills developed by overcoming a stressful or adverse situation/ event. Youth face many challenges at home and in their personal lives that strengthen their resiliency and allow them to emerge from those situations stronger.

Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child includes factors children identified as helping them overcome hard times in their lives.  The most often cited factor is a consistent, caring, and supportive adult role model. This role model could be a parent, caregiver, or another adult that they interact with often – maybe even that Cloverbud or 4-H Volunteer! Can we build resiliency skills in our Cloverbuds? Absolutely! And you might not even know it, but you are improving those skills at every meeting. Give youth an opportunity to take a risk in a safe space within the club. This could be as simple as trying a new way to make the craft for the week. If the result is less than ideal, you have provided the safe space for them to learn and grow. Managing emotions can be nurtured by creative play and games that Cloverbuds might undertake at a club meeting. It might be that member that wants to win the game or finish their project first every time. Providing a space where youth feel comfortable asking for help if they don’t understand or need assistance with an activity builds resiliency.

Rename yourself the Strength Builder for Buckeye 4-H Club of Clover County because you are more than just a 4-H volunteer to those youth in your care. Make your own name tag, cape and dress the part, members of your club will be looking for the hero at the next 4-H meeting.

 

Source: Young, K. (2020, August 17). Resilience. Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University. Retrieved November 9, 2021, from https://developingchild.harvard.edu/science/key-concepts/resilience/

Cloverbuds and Mental Health

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When it comes to taking care of our children, it is easy to identify their basic physical needs: food, clothing, and shelter.  What children need to satisfy their mental and emotional needs may be less obvious.  Why is mental health important?  Good mental health enables our children to develop their emotional and social skills and to develop other critical life skills.

As a Cloverbud volunteer you play an important role in the emotional and social development of your Cloverbud members.  Select activities that are age-appropriate for your Cloverbuds.  For example, if your Cloverbuds are all five years old, select activities that use pictures and have minimal writing.  Most five-year old children are just learning to read and write and may become frustrated with activities that are focused on these skills.  Give plenty of positive reinforcement and encourage them to problem solve together.  Keep instructions short and simple, giving no more than a step or two at a time.  Show them what to do as well as tell them.  Know the ages of your Cloverbuds and choose activities accordingly.

How can Cloverbud volunteers help Cloverbuds to develop their self-esteem and self-confidence (both of which play an important role in a child’s mental health)?  Utilize these simple suggestions:

  • Praise them. Give positive reinforcement for following directions, cooperating with others, and being attentive.  Be encouraging if a Cloverbud is struggling with an activity.  Encourage them to work together cooperatively.
  • Know your Cloverbuds and be realistic about their capabilities. Choose activities that can be successfully completed.  Challenge them but not to the point where they become frustrated and give up.
  • Children value honesty. Let them know it’s okay to make a mistake.  Making mistakes help us to learn and grow.  Adults make mistakes, too, and it’s okay to admit that.
  • Provide a safe environment. Do not tolerate bullying or “picking on” others.
  • When it comes to discipline, be firm but fair. Do not allow unacceptable behaviors to disrupt your Cloverbud meetings.  Focus on the behavior and not the child.
  • Make Cloverbud meetings fun! Allow them to interact appropriately and allow time for play.  Keep activities simple and short to allow for their short attention spans.

Successful Cloverbud meetings teach children about working together and having fun.  Finishing a challenging task and developing new skills reinforces self-confidence and helps children to develop a healthy self-esteem.

Developing self-confidence and positive self-esteem are critical components of a child’s mental health.  Children who feel good about themselves are more likely to develop a positive outlook on life.  Cloverbud volunteers play an important role in helping our Cloverbud children to develop a firm foundation for positive mental health.  Take time to reflect on how you can be a positive influence on your Cloverbuds.

Need help with planning a successful Cloverbud meeting?  The Big Book of 4-H Cloverbud Activities is full of lessons that are designed to facilitate the healthy emotional and physical development of our Cloverbuds.  Contact your Extension Office for information on how to obtain a copy of The Big Book of 4-H Cloverbud Activities.

Value of Making Friends

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According to an Irish Proverb, “A good friend is like a four-leaf clover; hard to find and lucky to have”.  Young children are just beginning the friend building process.  As the new school year begins, our Cloverbuds are going through many changes.

One big change is that they are interacting with new friends.  This age of development includes a time when the youth have many different “best friends” at one time.  If there is a disagreement between children, most of the time it is short-lived.

Learning how to interact with others is an important life skill that can be taught and instilled in our Cloverbuds.  It is important that we make sure they have this opportunity.

Have a conversation about what characteristics Cloverbuds have that will make a good friend.  Why are these characteristics important?  Some characteristics include honesty, sharing, taking turns, empathy, being a good listener, having trust, etc.

Cloverbuds can follow the 4-H pledge when making friends. As a volunteer and parent, encourage youth to be a good friend to others.

  • Head: using your head to make good safe choices and being a friend to others; speak up about bullying
  • Heart: be a caring Cloverbud to others, see what needs to be done and help others
  • Hands: through service and helping others you will be a good friend
  • Health: being with friends is good for mental health; laughing releases stress even for Cloverbuds

Youth look to adults as a positive role model, including how to interact with friends.  Children will model friendship behavior such as reaching out to friends to see how they are, being supportive, and investing time and energy into your friendships.  When they see that you value friends, they are more likely to do the same.  Building friendships takes time, energy, and effort.  Through experiences in 4-H and the Cloverbud program, friendships will blossom.

Recognizing our Emotions

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Many people have difficulty dealing with emotions. As caring adults (4-H advisor, parent, guardian, etc.) we should talk about emotions with the children in our care. Emotions are those instinctive reactions to one’s given circumstances. In children you might see tantrums, crying, pouting, breaking things, or the silent treatment, among others. Sometimes as parents we want to jump in and fix things just like we did when our children were babies. To build our child’s resiliency skills, we need to step aside and be the supportive person “outside their box” as they are dealing with their emotions “inside their box”.

Triggers are those actions or events that when they happen, the individual responds with a strong immediate reaction. Triggers cause a sudden change in our emotions and our body becomes overwhelmed with reacting to the event. Sometimes referred to by parents as “pushing my buttons”, these words or actions bring about an instant reaction. Personally, one of my triggers is when someone scrapes a metal fork on a glass plate. My immediate reaction is to plug my ears. Self-awareness is an important skill for parents to develop in their children. It allows them to recognize emotions, triggers, and responses.

Self-Awareness: Circle of Identification

Here is a very simple activity that can be done with crayons and paper. You might also use cardstock or light-colored paper, especially if you encourage the child to take the paper home. This activity is most effective if you have a small group of children or a large group of children with several adults (i.e. 1 adult for each 3-4 children).

  1. Preprint a circle divided into 3 equal sections on the paper. Have extra copies depending on time available, but 2-3 copies per child is recommended.
  2. Give each child one paper and share the following instructions, one at a time, allowing all children to complete each step before moving on to the next step.
    1. Explain what an emotion is (angry, embarrassed, happy). In one of the sections of the circle, instruct the children to draw a picture of an emotion they have experienced.
    2. Define a trigger and give examples. In a different section, have them draw a picture demonstrating something that might trigger the emotion they selected in the first space.
    3. In the final space, have them draw a picture of how they deal with that emotion.
  3. You can use another sheet and redo the activity using another emotion.
  4. In summary, talk with them about the value in being able to identify their emotions, identify their triggers and evaluate their reaction to that emotion. This is key to really understanding the concept of self-awareness which allows youth and adults to handle both good and bad situations in life.

As caring adults, we can model feeling words by defining the exact emotion you are experiencing at that time. Avoid reactions like foul language, yelling or aggressive physical reactions, because you are modeling these as appropriate reactions to certain emotions. We can all agree that resiliency is a vital skill for youth and adults.  Building the concept of self-awareness is a step to preparing youth (even at a young age) for future success.

Sources:

Pincus, D. (2020, September 1). My Child is Out of Control: How to Teach Kids to Manage. Medium. https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/my-child-is-out-of-control-how-to-teach-kids-to-manage-emotions/

Sadowski, K. (2020, August 31). 8 Tip to Help Your Child Gain Control of His/Her Emotions. Medium. https://www.nspt4kids.com/parenting/8-tips-to-help-your-child-gain-control-of-hisher-emotions/

It’s Time to Talk

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As a 4-H Educator and an uncle, I often get to interact with Cloverbuds. Just this past year I had one niece graduate Cloverbuds to start her first year in 4-H project age, and three nieces and nephews start their first year as Cloverbuds. One thing I often hear about and engage with is how much Cloverbuds love to talk. They love to share and tell stories. However, I often catch myself wondering how myself and others are modeling talking and having meaningful conversations?

In today’s world we see youth somehow shift from being extremely social and talkative to being closed off teens or young adults, struggling with social skills and not being able to have meaningful conversation with others. We also see adults who can’t even get through a conversation about religion, politics, beliefs, or even different thoughts without getting upset and ending the conversation or turning from constructive to toxic. What changes? How do we shift from being excited to talk to others and tell stories to having social anxiety or not being willing to talk to others, even when they think differently than us?

As a 4-H professional or volunteer we have to be conscious of not just what we talk to our Cloverbuds about, but how we model having positive and meaningful conversations. Here are some tips for having positive conservation with Cloverbuds:

  1. Take time to have one-on-one conversations with each Cloverbud (even if it’s a 2-minute interaction) every time you have a meeting. This shows them that it’s important to take time out of your life to chat with people and hear about their lives.
  2. Share information about yourself to model how they can talk about themselves and then ask questions that encourage them to share information. (example: I really like cows, they’re probably my favorite animal. What’s your favorite animal?)
  3. When they do share information about themselves, always give them positive reinforcement by saying things like:
    • Really?
    • Wow, that’s so cool!
    • No kidding!
    • Tell me more!
  4. Challenge Put-Downs or Hurtful Comments. At a very early age youth begin to put down themselves and others. It is important that we begin shutting down the negative comments youth make. When a Cloverbud says they don’t like someone or themselves, start pointing out that was it the other kid or themselves they don’t like but what they or the other kid did/said.
  5. Get on their level when talking with them. If you can, crouch or sit down to be at the same eye level as them and look them in the eyes. Have them focus on you when speaking.

At the end of the day, it’s our goal to model positive behavior and that also means discussion. So make sure that even when you are speaking to Cloverbud’s parents or other adults that you are trying to reflect positive conversation skills so they learn. Take time in a meeting to actually setup a time for Cloverbuds to just talk to each other and ask each other questions about their lives. This way, as they get older, they naturally have a curiosity to get to know the people around them.