As I stepped onto the bus to Auschwitz-Birkenau I attempted to mentally prepare myself for what I knew would be one of, if not the most, difficult day of the program. However, no amount of meditation could have possibly prepared me for what would happen once I stepped through the gates of a place where so many had lost their lives to the cruelty of the Nazis.

Immediately I was startled by the amount of tour busses in the parking lot.  For a moment I forgot I was also there for a tour.  The entrance was located next to various snack bars and a place to buy books and small souvenirs.  I was shocked by the amount of people standing near the entrance.  I could barely walk there were so many people.  The amount of school children running around and playing near the entrance confused me.  Were they too young to comprehend what had happened just meters away?  Was it a cultural difference?  Why did their teachers not even flinch at their behavior?  I never found an answer that sat well.

The entrance gate to Auschwitz I (photograph taken from auschwitz.org)

I had seen countless photographs documenting the camp, especially of the entrance gate to Auschwitz I which reads, “Arbeit macht Frei.”  In English this means “Work will make you free.”  Something I hadn’t considered was the fact I had never seen a color picture of the site.  The black and white pictures I had seen in school had given me a much more antiquated picture of the camp in my head.  Around the gate I could see green grass and sunlight shining through the leaves of the trees.  The buildings in Auschwitz I were much more fortified than I had pictured.  At one point it crossed my mind that it was almost pretty, which made me feel absolutely sick to my stomach.  I lifted my camera to capture the image of the gate, but after I took the picture I felt guilty and incredibly disrespectful.  For the rest of the visit I kept my camera in my bag partially due to the guilt I was experiencing, but mostly because I felt I needed to see through my eyes rather than the lens of a camera.  The group began to cross through the gate and I felt my stomach begin to tighten up.  As I heard the gravel shift under my feet it was difficult to get the image of the 1.1 million lost lives out of my head.

Our visit to Auschwitz-Birkenau was guided.  Our guide was very informative, but it was clear he had a script he was required to follow.  Polish nationalism was evident in his presentation.  He talked about Nazi terror, but did not mention other parties involved in running the camp.  He also made a point to stress that Jews were not the only victims.  In addition, the script was filled with emotionally charged words and phrases.  For example, the word “murder” was used often and a few times the guide asked us to imagine walking down the path knowing we would never see our families again.  The museum clearly wants its visitors to view the camps as a site of Nazi terror against the people of the world rather than as the site of the Holocaust most people tend to think of it as.

Two tons of human hair taken from inmates of the camp (photograph taken from auschwitz.org)

Similar to my experiences at Omaha and Utah Beach, it was difficult to picture Auschwitz I as it was while it was open.  I felt somber, but when we walked into the main exhibit of Block 4 I lost my composure entirely.  Before we walked in our tour guide informed us the room was one of two where picture taking was not permitted, and that we would know why when we stepped inside.  I was the fourth person from our group to step inside the room.  A glass panel stretched over the entire wall.  After a few moments of staring I realized I was looking at a mountain of human hair.  Our tour guide informed us that when the camp was liberated by the Soviets, they found seven tons of hair.  Only two of those tons are on display for visitors.  During the years the camp was open the hair was used to make fabric that was then used to make uniforms or to line boots to make them warmer.  The tour guide emphasized the fact that the Nazis had essentially harvested what they needed before sending these people off to their death.  The rooms that followed displayed massive piles of glasses, shoes and kitchenware.  However, it was the hair that affected me the most.  The other piles were devastating to look at, but the hair is part of the body.  Over 7 tons of hair had been taken from people.  A business was made off of the hair of people who were killed.  I couldn’t look away.  I couldn’t stop the tears. I wanted nothing more than to throw up.

The inside of a brick barrack (photograph taken from auschwitz.org)

We continued the tour in Auschwitz II.  We walked along the unloading platform and walked the path that so many took to their death after failing the selection process.  The huts seemed to stretch on as far as I could see.  The guide shared that there had been plans to build two more sections of barracks, but the war had ended before they could be constructed.  We walked into a barrack used as a temporary holding area for women.  Each “bed” had three levels and each level had to hold 8-10 people.  The building was made out of brick, and there was no real air ventilation.  There were about twenty of us in the building, and I was still warm.  I can’t imagine what it must have felt like for the victims of the camp.

The bus ride home from the camp was very quiet.  The Holocaust has always been a subject of interest for me, so I was anxious to see how being in the camp would change my perspective. Even though I was in the camp, I still can’t quite fathom how humanity was capable of carrying out such destruction.  I can’t wrap my head around the amount of life that was lost.  After standing on the railroad tracks where so many said goodbye to their loved ones for the last time I realize that the horrors of the Holocaust were larger than I could have ever imagined.  Walking through the camp is a very personal experience, and it left me speechless.  I’m thankful to have had the opportunity to pay my respects in such a solemn place.

I grew up in a suburb of Cleveland and attended our local public schools every year beginning in Kindergarten. In 8^th grade, we spent a quarter of the school year studying the Holocaust in Language Arts. In 9^th grade, I read Night by Elie Weisel and studied other Holocaust writings in class. In addition to this, almost every history class I’ve taken has included the study of the Holocaust. Through all of these classes, I have learned a lot of facts and numbers. I could tell you that 11 million people died during the Holocaust or that the major death camps instituted by the Nazis were located in Poland. Though very informative, this learning only achieved so much. Years in the classroom only offer so much. I lacked the historical understanding that would help me grasp the worst crime in human history. That changed when I spent the day visiting Auschwitz-Birkenau death camp.

For the first time, the World War II study abroad program made a stop in Krakow, Poland. Making a stop in Poland has been something that has interested me since my acceptance into this program. When I told people where I was going to study abroad, they were always very interested to here that I would be traveling to Poland. And if they were interested to here about my travels to Poland, they were amazed to here that I would be traveling to Auschwitz. The name itself conjures a reaction without anything else being said. Being at the camp helped me to realize the challenges that it faces. One of the most difficult tasks of the employees is to maintain the inventory and buildings that the Nazis so desperately wanted to be destroyed.

In the original Auschwitz camp, the horrors of mass extermination were put right in front of my eyes. We walked through buildings that contained items the Nazis stole from Jews and other groups sent to Auschwitz upon arrival. There were pots. There were eyeglasses. The most moving parts were a room full of shoes and a room full of 2 tons of human hair. In the face of such a scene, I had trouble comprehending what I was seeing. It was hard to even imagine that each pair of shoes and every strand of hair belonged to a real person who was killed in the Holocaust. When we went block 11 and I saw a small room that people were crammed in to and left for dead I didn’t want to believe it. We passed by small brick rooms where four people were forced to stand for days on end without being able to move or sit down. We walked out back to the wall where the SS tortured and shot prisoners. We saw the gallows where they hung prisoners in front of other inmates in order to instill fear and obedience in the others. We saw for ourselves the gas chambers where the Nazis forced hundreds of thousands of Jews into a small room and then proceeded to kill them with poisonous gas. How is it possible for someone in the modern day to even imagine these horrors? What are we supposed to make of something that doesn’t even happen in our worst nightmares? For this reason, we need to do our best to remember. And for this reason, the camp must be maintained.

I saw workers in Auschwitz I (the original concentration camp that I have mentioned) working on the restoration of a building. In Birkenau (the death camp built after the Nazis decided on the “final solution”), some of the barracks are in danger of collapsing. I read that millions of dollars are spent on preserving this site along with some of the most skilled employees the country has to offer.

The front gate of Auschwitz reads Albeit Macht Frei meaning “Work Sets You Free”

Remembering our past is not always easy. But it must be done. We have to keep the train tracks where the Nazis hauled in prisoners in cars that were cramped to the point of not being able to turn around. We have to keep the path where prisoners who were deemed unfit to perform slave labor were pointed to in order to be escorted to the gas chambers. I was numb as I visited these locations. I really didn’t want to believe it. I wanted to shake my head and hide from this horrible truth. We can only come to terms with history’s most horrific events when we face them head on. The important thing was that I was actually at the camp and only that allowed me to more fully comprehend the terror of the Holocaust.

Auschwitz II (Birkenau) is the large-scale extermination camp built in 1941.

It was a sunny day in Auschwitz. The parking lot was full of buses and cars that had transported visitors to the camp. Other cars drove straight by the camp. The horrors of the camp may not have even been present in their mind as they passed the rows of barracks and remains of gas chambers. One way or another, the Polish town of Oswiecim had to move on just like the rest of the world. However, moving on does not mean forgetting. The Nazis wanted these crimes to be erased. They blew up gas chambers in Birkenau in hopes that their crimes would also disappear. The memorial that the camp has become is clear evidence that the people who do the work of preserving this camps ghastly inventory have not forgotten. Now, it is up to the rest of the world to follow.

Photo of the entry gate at Auschwitz (Picture taken from www.auschwitz.org)

The pebbles crunched under our feet as we walked under the infamous “Arbeit Macht Frei” gate into Auschwitz. Large green trees accompanied the lines of brick buildings as we made our way to Block 4, the first of many stops along our tour. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. But even on such a beautiful day, I couldn’t help but to think about all the torture and torment so many innocent people went through in this exact spot.

Auschwitz was the largest death camp in Nazi Germany during World War II. It was here that between 1.1 and 1.3 million Jews, gypsies, homosexuals, political prisoners, and many more fell victim to Nazi violence and cruelty. Since the closing of the camp, it has opened to the public for viewing. In 2014, 1.5 million people visited the Auschwitz-Birkenau death camps. Since the year 1945, the site has had over 44 million visitors.

Going into the tour I had no idea what to expect, but I definitely did not expect Auschwitz to be such a tourist attraction. On one hand, it was great to see that so many people have an interest in visiting such an important site of suffering. But on the other hand, I was not expecting a grand commercialization of such a sacred place.

The tour guide took us through the different blocks at the camp, we were able to see all of the belongings that people brought with them, their typical living quarters, and punishment cells. The personal items on display included real human hair, glasses, shoes, suitcases, prayer shawls, and pots and plans. Our tour guide mentioned how the Nazi’s would profit from the deaths by using the victims’ hair to make thread. This made my stomach churn thinking about how absolutely everything was exploited from these innocent people. The punishment cells were located in Block 11. In the basement were regular cells, dark cells, or standing cells. The prisoners would be put in these for ridiculous reasons, and for some the punishment cells meant certain death.

Seeing the places where the Jews were housed, the gas chamber and crematorium, and many blocks, I could not imagine how awful the conditions were and how they must have felt. Up to 700 people could be held in one building at Birkenau and the conditions were horrendous. Cockroaches would cover the prisoners as they slept at night, with no protection from the extreme heat or extreme cold.

I think the most eye-opening fact presented by the tour guide was that the prisoners had to be tattooed because they would be so starved and beaten down in such a short amount of time that the guards wouldn’t be able to recognize their picture. To be stripped of all belongings and of your identity has to be one of the most dehumanizing acts one could face. From the time the prisoners walked through that same gate I did on that perfect May afternoon, they were no longer a human being, but instead a number. It definitely hit me to think about the unimaginable struggle the Jews and other prisoners had to go through during their time at Auschwitz-Birkenau death camp. The experience of seeing Auschwitz in person will forever change my perspective of the Holocaust and of World War II.

My first glimpse of Krakow. Many people enjoy the beautiful Monday afternoon by sunbathing by the Vistula river.

When I first arrived in Krakow I have to admit, I did not know what to expect; maybe if I had bothered to google the city before I left, I may have had an idea of what Krakow was like before I arrived. This year was the first time that the World War II study abroad program has added a Poland leg of the trip so I did not even have the experience of a previous year to reference. I had a couple of different assumptions of what Krakow might be like. On one hand I thought it might be another Bayeux: a storybook village in the middle of a nowhere that offered more charm than actual things to do. I also could not help but picture what I feel many people imagine when they think of an eastern European town: a grey urban center filled with identical dilapidated apartment buildings left over from the Cold War era. Let’s face it, it was probably a bit of a misstep on my part to go into this city completely blind.

Cloth Hall, which dates back to the 13th century, is the central feature of the main market square in Krakow.

Krakow turned out to be neither of those assumptions and I happy to say that I was pleasantly surprised with what I got. Krakow is a city filled with vibrancy and life. My first glimpse of what life in Krakow was like came when, as we drove into the main part of the city, I spotted a number of younger people sunbathing by the Vistula River that runs through the city. Once we got a chance to go out and explore the city some more I found a sprawling green park, brightly colored buildings, a number of restaurants and shops, and a large outdoor market space in the city square. Already within a few minutes of being in Krakow and both of my assumptions of the town were already proven false. Krakow is not a tiny village but a large metropolitan area with a lively city center and filled with a surprising number of people around my age; I was wrong again in assuming that the majority of the population would be on the older side.

The streets of Krakow are a beautiful mix of old world and new world. St. Mary’s Basilica- originally built during the 13th century -rises up in between the modern buildings of Krakow.

Perhaps one of my favorite things about Krakow is that it’s a city that mixes modernity and medieval and makes it work. The city is a patchwork of modern buildings, Gothic cathedrals, and medieval castles. In some places across Europe I’ve noticed similar mixes of the past and the present in the architecture but nowhere else has it worked as nicely as it does in Krakow.

The only real complaint I have about the city seems to be when it comes to currency. For whatever reason the smallest bill the ATM’s are able to give out are a 50 zloty bill. That would not be a big issue if it weren’t also for the fact that change at restaurants and shops across town seem to be hard to come by, which makes paying for things a bit of a headache. But if the minor currency issue is the only complaint I have about Krakow, it goes to show how lovely of a city Krakow really is.

Part of the courtyard of the beautiful Wawel Castle. Wawel Castle- originally built in the 14th century -is today both a historically and culturally important site in Poland.

The Nazi concentration and death camps known simply as Auschwitz-Birkenau are a top tourist destination for visitors of Kraków, Poland.  Before I visited Auschwitz-Birkenau, I didn’t imagine the small Polish town of Oświęcim where it is located to receive the amount of visitors it does each year.  I was shocked to see advertisements throughout Kraków saying “Auschwitz day tour” and “cheap shuttles to Auschwitz,” as I was not expecting it to be a tourist attraction.  When we got to Auschwitz-Birkenau my preconceived ideas were wrong.

Birkenau

The ticketing area of Auschwitz-Birkenau was full of large groups of people – including ourselves – speaking different languages and waiting for their turn with their guide to tour the grounds.  Although most of the people seemed to be schoolchildren, I did notice some Jews who were wearing shirts with the name of the organization that brought them on a pilgrimage to Auschwitz-Birkenau.  Around the main entrance there was a gift shop that sold books and posters (yes, posters) about the Holocaust, a snack bar, and a post office to send your Auschwitz-Birkenau postcards home right away.

When we were on the tour, there were many people taking photographs of everything as if it were just a normal tourist destination.  As for myself I limited my photographs to the outside of the camps rather than the artifacts on the interior to be able to take in their significance and out of respect for the victims.  When we were walking through the old camp barracks that were renovated into museum buildings there were specific rooms that held artifacts where visitors were not allowed to take photographs.  These buildings were packed full of people, and we had to walk in lines on the left and right through the building to be able to see everything and yet not cause chaos.  On our tour other visitors continued to take pictures of these artifacts as our tour guide yelled at them to turn off their cameras several times.  Maybe these visitors didn’t speak Polish or English and didn’t understand our guide’s orders to turn off their cameras.  When we went inside of the Crematorium I located at the original Auschwitz camp, I noticed a teenage girl taking a video for her Snapchat.  It made me think about how society has become that we have to live-feed everything on social media, rather than experiencing the moment.

In my opinion, part of the problem is that many people are visiting Auschwitz-Birkenau as tourists with limited knowledge on the Holocaust and therefore not in the right mindset to be at such a place.  Indeed, some disrespectful people etched graffiti inside one of the prisoner barracks at Birkenau.  This barrack was used to hold prisoners before they were to be sent to the gas chambers.  In this barrack people wrote their different words and phrases, as well as hearts with couples’ names in the middle, on the walls which was shocking to me.  I am fortunate enough to have visited Auschwitz-Birkenau after a semester of studying the history of World War II and the Holocaust, which enhanced my experience and appreciation for the things I saw.

Graffiti Inside the Prisoners’ Barrack

The main problem I see is that there is a difference between visitors coming to educate themselves and pay their respects and tourists wanting to site-see.  Auschwitz-Birkenau has had problems with tourists in the past, most notably the girl who took the infamous Auschwitz Selfie that caused outrage as it went viral on social media.  The most logical solution to me to solve this problem is to not allow visitors to bring cameras onto the grounds, and hope people come with an understanding of the camps’ historical and cultural significance to the world.  I don’t think they should close Auschwitz-Birkenau to visitors, but rather find a way to monitor visitors’ actions better to create a more respectful atmosphere.

It is also the decision of the Auschwitz-Birkenau Memorial and Museum which image of themselves they want to project to the public, whether that be a memorial site or tourist attraction.  After my visit I would argue they seem a lot like a tourist attraction from the way they advertise and sell souvenirs.  Most memorials don’t have an entrance fee or gift shop.  In addition, I believe that they want to be a tourist attraction due to the fact that at the end of our tour our guide asked us to like/follow Auschwitz-Birkenau on Facebook and Twitter.  Auschwitz-Birkenau is a great example of how we can turn anything into a money making venture, even the most solemn of places.

After visiting Auschwitz I do not think I can look at the Holocaust or World War II the same as I did before seeing the concentration and death camps of Auschwitz and Birkenau. No book, picture or anything else can compare to actually seeing the camp in person. Reading about the Holocaust and seeing pictures does not truly represent the feelings and thoughts that I had while there and afterwards.

While in the camp I was speechless. I was looking not at just suitcases, eyeglasses, pots and pans and other personal objects people brought to the camp. I was looking at someone’s suitcase or other personal and valuable items that were important enough to them that they brought them for starting their new life. That realization was very evident with seeing the names on the suitcases.

In one hallway the walls were covered with pictures of the prisoners with the date they entered the camp and then the date they died if they did not survive the camp. At first I was looking at every face and every date. By the time we left the hallway, I was just looking at the dates and imagining how someone could have survived. The guide pointed out several pictures on the wall for people who only lived one night. We were told that the reason why the prisoners were tattooed with their numbers at only Auschwitz was because the pictures originally taken of them would no longer be able to identify the person. Starved and repeatedly beaten, inmates quickly grew unrecognizable. The walls on both sides of the hallway were covered in these pictures and it was moving to see individuals. The holocaust usually is talked about with mass numbers because the number of people killed was on such an unimaginable scale. The tour guide made sure to point out individuals and tell personal stories that survivors have shared where the individuality is seen.

The guide took us into a room with two tons of hair in it. He explained that when the camp was liberated there was three times the amount of hair that is currently displayed for visitors. When the camp was liberated the hair would not have been on display. It would have been stored somewhere waiting to be used for the war effort.  I was not prepared to see two tons of hair. The hair was much more touching and terrifying than anything else up and until that point of the tour. The next area had pots and dishes in it. It was terrifying to know that before liberation the Nazis started a fire to try destroy and cover up the war crimes.

After leaving Auschwitz I had a feeling that what I saw was surreal.  Seeing the reconstructed gas chamber and crematorium was so terrible and moving. I could not imagine how terrifying it would have been for all the victims who died in there. Even walking into the buildings /where 700 or more people would have slept . I could not truly imagine the living conditions and what it must have been like to try to survive in the hellish conditions. The building afforded little protection. It was was not heated or well ventilated. We were told that the building would be about the same as the outdoor temperature. The most horrific part of the building was a story a survivor told of a night living there. A twelve year old boy  woke up and thought that the people next to him had a blanket. They were not given blankets so that was odd. The man then realized that it was cockroaches. These living conditions and the inhumanity was unbelievable that people could subject anyone to the conditions that were present at the camp.

The worst part of visiting Auschwitz was when the tour guide told us that the one crematoria and gas chambers was closed because it could not kill enough people at once. That was why the crematorium numbers two and three where used. They could kill more people at once. After seeing the reconstructed crematorium number one and seeing how many people it killed at once it was hard to imagine the ruble of crematorium numbers two and three being larger and build just to kill people faster. Overall, seeing Auschwitz really changed my perspective on the Holocaust and what life was like for the people who were forced to live and die in the concentration and death camps.  Seeing the housing rooms and gas chambers with crematorium really made me realize just how terrible it was in a camp. Seeing the pictures of a small select few of individuals who were at the camp added a personal touch to know that everything that happened there was not statistics but happened to actual people and added a personal sense to the holocaust for me.

When we first drove into Paris, I was disappointed. The city looked nothing like I had expected. The metro was old and confusing, and the streets were small and filled with perplexing traffic. I was surprised by the number of people that smoke in Europe, and especially Paris. I saw people of all ages, ethnicities, and classes smoking. During one dinner, I was sitting next to a man who was continuously blowing smoke onto my pizza, and it was not a pleasant experience. The smokers in Europe makes me wonder if they have the same level of anti-smoking education as schools do in the United States. I saw a lot of boarded up shops, homeless people, street vendors selling cheap and low quality wares, and some seemingly unsafe neighborhoods. Of course, these things exist in every major metropolitan area, but Paris is shown as a romantic city that is better than all other cities.

After the initial let down, I discovered the beauty of Paris. I saw things that I had dreamed of seeing for years: the Louvre, the Eiffel Tower, and Pont Bir Hakiem (the bridge from Inception).

The style of the French people is beautiful and sophisticated, as are their buildings and their use of poetry. The Eiffel Tower was all that I dreamed it would be, except that it was very geared towards tourists with multiple street vendors and long ticket lines. The Louvre was incredibly extensive, so much so that I could go there five times and discover something new and wonderful with each visit. Katie Holman, Kelly Pilarski and I walked around for hours and only saw the Italian and Spanish paintings, sculptures from assorted areas around the globe, Napoleon III’s apartments, and a few other small sections. The diversity of people at both of these popular sites was astonishing. There were tourists from all around the world, speaking different languages and some wearing their traditional dress, like saris and dashikis. However, even with all of the diversity, we ended up sitting next to a group of Ohio State students at the Eiffel Tower. The university was right when they said that there are OSU students and alumni all over the world.

Everywhere I turned in Paris, there was a monument or plaque commemorating an event in French history. There was a memorial to an unknown soldier of World War I under l’Arc de Triumph that had an eternal flame and beautiful flowers. I saw multiple plaques on street corners in rememberance of resistance fighters who had been killed at that spot, not to mention the Memorial of the Deportation where I gave my site report. This memorial was in memory of everyone who was deported from France to Nazi concentration camps under the Vichy Regime, and it was located near Notre Dame.

The memorial to the unknown soldier

Paris was a fascinating and unique city, but don’t be fooled by the media. You probably won’t find true love under the Eiffel Tower.