Lifelong learning is a process of understanding your personal strengths and weaknesses so that you can reach your best potential. I’ve been actively trying to improve the process in which I make decisions and to handle setbacks. I’ve never had a real job before and having the professionalism and experience to even know how to begin the process for making decisions requires immense effort on my part. I struggled to deal with my Id, specifically the non-logical part that seems to overwhelm my usual rational self.
My biggest weakness is that I am incredibly hard on myself. This sometimes creates a lot of anxiety, sometimes even panicked paralysis when I don’t think I can do it well enough. This is especially true in things that I care a lot about. For example in Step 1, the night before the exam I couldn’t sleep no matter how hard I tried. The more I tried to relax the more anxious I became. My performance was very subpar to what I could have achieved. Knowing this, I’ve been addressing my personal mental health a lot by developing healthy lifestyle and trying to maintain great relationships with my family and friends. I have been successful in mostly controlling the anxiety without going to counseling or needing medication. However sometimes, there are situations where I believe I may need professional help. Another strategy I have been using is by making lists and deadlines of when things absolutely must get done. I recently learned in one of my classes for mental health, the psychologist actually mentioned that unless I was busy to just focus on completing the task to skip the anxiety of deadlines and thinking about all that still needs to be done. I still have a lot to work on my personal mental health and will try to develop strategies with a professional to help me when things just become overwhelming and everything feels like it is falling apart.
One of my strengths is in the willingness to improve. I have gotten feedback from multiple attending physicians that I am very prepared for clinic the following day because I go through the chart the day before. Oftentimes this isn’t perfect because the chart is missing information, or the presenting illness isn’t actually their chief complaint. Overall, I am able to have more meaningful interactions with the patient by having more time to get to know the patient as a person.
I think the process of lifelong learning requires being the best version of myself and to continue to use my strengths and try to minimize my weaknesses. Overall, it seems that an attitude of humbleness and respect will allow for growth in all areas of my life and in turn my future professional skills. This will need to be balanced with living life. Ice cream is one of my favorite ways to recharge.
In addition, I’ve done multiple research avenues during medical school. Early in medical school I had a paper published that was a continuation of research I had done in undergraduate studies. The link is attached: https://www-sciencedirect-com.proxy.lib.ohio-state.edu/science/article/pii/S1742706115001014?via%3Dihub. Essentially the idea of using the structure of a viral nanoparticle and the coating to target cancer at the source. We looked at multiple sizes, shapes, electrical coating charge, different coats to try to best get the results. I think this process helped me think analytically through research and the basis for the reason underlying why certain management is taken and the results that will likely be seen. This will help me communicate better in the future to patients and makes me consider research in the future.