Before I entered college, I was a much different person that I am now. I was someone who would listen and observe, but would rarely share my ideas or opinions. I would compare other people’s thoughts to my own or think or a solution to a problem instead or adding to the conversation. Needless to say I was more of a follower and a thinker than a leader or a conversationalist.
Looking back, I think the main reason for my behavior was my fear of being rejected or not fitting in. When I signed up for the STEM EE Scholars, I had done it with the intention of improving myself academically. However, when I joined, I ended up not only achieving my initial goals, but also improving myself as a person. The very first thing we did as a group in STEM EE Scholars was complete a ropes course. For many people, it was a fun activity with no significant meaning. For me, I was my first step towards who I am today.
One of my biggest fears was heights, so I was not looking forward to the ropes course. I had even thought about not participating in the course. Even thought it was one of the most terrifying experiences in my life, I am glad I did it. While I was up on the course, with the poles that were holding it up wobbling with every movement, fear filled in me. However, I built up enough courage to go through the first obstacle, and noticed it wasn’t that bad, so I moved on to the next one, and the next one, and so on. With each obstacle I completed, the next one became easier, and I learned to overcome my fear.
After completing the ropes course, I decided that I didn’t want my fears to control my life. In the other STEM EE activities, I started to participate more, and even took the role of leader for some activities. I started being who I was rather than who I thought other people wanted me to be, and I found I liked that person a lot better.
Overall, I don’t think there is a part of me that hasn’t improved over the last year. I have become more social and open with my ideas, and through many of the STEM EE activities, I have honed my leadership skills. I have also gathered better study habits through participating in activities such as the Math Study Skills events provided by STEM EE Scholars, and have done better academically because of it. I am now more willing to share my ideas and opinions with others, and have revised and improved them because of this. Overall, I am a more confident, well rounded person, and now that I have my own experiences to share, I feel not only more prepared but also more excited to be a peer-mentor for new STEM EE students. It may not have been what I expected, but joining the STEM EE Scholars program has been the best decision I could have mad for my first year in college.