The development of social-emotional skills is almost imperatively necessary for a child’s future success. Social-emotional skills help us in an array of situations, and are arguably our most needed skills in communication. Without social-emotional skills, no productive, healthy relationship would be possible. These skills help us to manage our feelings, whether it be anger or sadness, in times of intense emotional situations. Development in this domain allows children to interact with others, identify and regulate their own emotions, and to form healthy relationships and attachments outside of the family in the future. The people we admire the most, often have the best social and emotional regulation skills, making them easily likable due to their ability to be empathetic, highly socially aware, and self-motivated(Virtual Lab School, n.d.). Social skills may come easier to these people than most, which is why it is important to note that social skills are not as automatic in all children. To make sure that your child is developing socially along the right track, here are a list of social and emotional milestones for each age group:
Age 3:
- Is interested, yet cautious, about going new places and trying new things
- Is starting to play together with other kids
- Starts being able to comfort/show worry for an unhappy friend without being told to by an adult
- Take turns while playing
- Plays “real life”
- Can identify boys from girls, but may not yet fully understand gender distinctions Show (but maybe not name) a variety of emotions
Age 4:
- More noticeably independent
- Alternates between being demanding and cooperative
- Can dress and undress themselves
- Begins to tell little lies to get out of trouble, even when they know it is wrong
- Becomes a little sassier, starts tattling or acting a little bossy
Age 5:
- Shows independence
- Have distinct ways of playing according to gender
- They want to be liked by their friends and to please people, although may be mean to others
- Become jealous of other people spending time with “their” friends
- Follow most rules
- Enjoy showing off
Age 6:
- Begin to understand the feeling of embarrassment
- Are independent, but more insecure, wanting attention/approval from adults
- Get their feelings hurt more quickly
- Can recognize their peers emotions more easily
- Are more aware of how others see them
Age 7 and 8:
- Have increased moments of extreme insecurity where they need reassurance and encouragement from loved ones
- Enjoy being part of a team, group, or club
- Spend increased time with friends, and are more easily influenced by them
- Have period of dramatic or extreme emotion, only to bounce back soon after
- Are more likely to follow rules they helped to create
- Are impatient and desire immediate gratification
- Begin to become interested money
As social and emotional development is so necessary for children, it is important that parents and caregivers promote growth in this domain in healthy ways. They can do this by encouraging the formation of healthy friendships and relationships, and by teaching their child to stay in tune with how they are feeling. The most simple way to make sure that a child is developing socially/emotionally, is to enroll them in school or any form of education available for their age where they will be surrounded by other kids. Many daily routines at school or childcare centers can promote social-emotional development, such as children playing together in the classroom, required interaction during learning activities, monitored seating arrangements at meal times, recess, and many more. It is also important for a child’s parent or caregiver to help them understand and name different emotions, so that the child can begin to communicate how they are feeling on their own. This vocabulary and emotional intelligence will aid their child in developing empathy and helping others later on. Without the development of social and emotional regulation skills, an individual will develop many persisting problems in the future. Children who feel rejected and unaccepted by those around them, or who fail to get engaged at home, school, or in their community are more likely to have challenging behavior, end up a delinquent or in trouble with the law, and have trouble in school or finding a job when they are older. The social-emotional domain is fundamental, and clearly crucial for all children’s futures.