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I have wrapped up my junior year of my undergraduate career and find myself to now be a senior. This feels completely unreal; I do not feel as though three years have already passed.  However, the realities have set in as I now prepare to apply to graduate school! My plans are still unchanged- I will be applying to the Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner program here at Ohio State for Fall of 2019.  To anyone reading this that is in their first or second year of college, listen to those who tell you that your time in undergrad will fly by quicker than you realize. Utilize every day that you have to its fullest, because before you know it people will begin to ask you about your post-graduation plans, and it will be much less intimidating if you’ve planned and prepared throughout your first three years! Learn a lot and grow as a person, because this is your time to discover your passions and develop your skills.

My junior year could be described in many ways: intense, fast, insightful, informative, rewarding, stressful, and everything in between. Most prominently, my nursing courses ramped up in intensity this year as compared to last year.  I found myself taking on multiple patients at one time, being responsible for IV medications and nursing procedures, and even conquering my fear of IV insertion… multiple times. I feel that now I have really stepped into my identity as a nurse and feel much more comfortable when entering my senior year. For the first time, I was able to step into my clinical rotation with a sense of confidence and belonging. No longer did I feel that I was hindering the work being done on the floor, but that I was a valuable resource as a developing student nurse. I left my junior year of nursing feeling “like a nurse” for the first time- like I could more comprehensively and competently tend to the needs of my patients.

In terms of research, my project alongside Dr. Elizabeth Fitzgerald really began to take off this year. We are working on validating the Spanish translation of the IAPCC-R, a tool that evaluates how culturally competent healthcare providers are being with their healthcare delivery, as well as diving into different linguistic effects on cultural competency. I had the wonderful opportunity to present our preliminary findings at the Transcultural Nursing Society annual research conference in New Orleans, Louisiana in October of this year.  I had the wonderful opportunity of getting to hear from experts in the nursing field on a wide variety of topics.  Additionally, the practice of being able to speak on my research to other people and elaborate on our goals and expectations helped build my confidence in the world of research.  Currently, we are vamping up recruitment to hopefully be able to complete our project and data analysis by the fall of 2018.

In terms of work experience, I continued to work as a research assistant at the Institute for Behavioral Medicine research as I had the previous year. I have really grown in my responsibilities in this lab and continue to gain valuable research and patient interaction experiences in my time at this lab.  Additionally, I started a job as a Patient Care Assistant at Nationwide Children’s Hospital this year. Pediatrics is the specialty where my heart resides, so being able to work with these children every week has been a true highlight of my junior year. Not only am I gaining skills in patient interaction and simple nursing skills, but I have been truly enlightened and inspired by these children with each conversation and interaction that we have.  I will continue to learn from them in every exchange that we have, as children offer endless opportunities for growth and reflection.

My sophomore year of college presented many new and exciting beginnings, most notably the start of my undergraduate nursing studies. I was indescribably anxious as I prepared with tasks such as the purchasing of my signature red scrubs, receiving my first stethoscope and blood pressure cuff, and obtaining all of the books I would use to learn the profession I was so passionate about.  With all of this excitement, I was able to mask the nerves and anxiety that soon crept up inside my head as I prepared for my first true clinical experience second semester.  I shook off the nerves at first, hoping it was normal jitters associated with the apprehension of my first patient interaction with the word “nurse” on my identification badge.  However, the fears did not quickly dissolve.  I went to clinical every week in my second semester, and each week presented new challenges: my first time pulling and administering medication, my first shot administration, my first conversation with an emotionally struggling patient, and so much more.  The anxiety got so bad at times that I began to question my choice of pursuing a career in the nursing field.  “Am I not cut out for this?” and other similar thoughts replayed over and over in my head.  I was really starting to believe that this was not what I was destined to do for the rest of my life.

However, over time, I gained confidence in myself and my skills, slowly but surely.  I was eventually able to give medications without checking them 5 times too many, as I knew that I was knowledgeable in my pharmacology.  I began to administer shots knowing the proper site, needle type, and dosage preparation without having to ask my instructor.  As my confidence grew, my doubts faded, and my thoughts were restored that this is what I am meant to do for my profession.  This was a scary time for me; the thought of not being good enough for the profession that I so desperately longed to work in was an extremely intimidating mind set.  Thankfully, with the help of my outstanding clinical instructor and always supportive peers, I was reminded of why I am so passionate for this field.  I worked with cancer patients anywhere from new diagnosis to what was hopefully their final surgery, and seeing the impact that the nursing staff had on their journey was something to remember.  I learned their gentle ways of communication, their reminder to put human connection at the forefront of care, and that perfecting clinical skills is only one piece to the puzzle of becoming the nurse that everyone strives to become. 

My professional goals changed slightly over the course of the year.  At the beginning of my nursing career, I was pretty torn between the fields of mental health nursing and neonatal nursing, a population and specialty that really see very little overlap in the medical field.  By the end of the year, on professor named Christa Newtz helped me make my final career trajectory decision.  Christa was my professor for both Introduction to Professional Nursing as well as Nursing Therapeutic Communication.  As a Psych Mental Health Nurse Practitioner, I heard her stories and the way she felt that mental health impacted the physical healing process of all patients. Learning from her solidified my passion for mental health, and I am now decided that I would like to pursue my master’s degree in Psych Mental Health nursing.  More specifically, I would like to be a PMHNP working in pediatric age populations.  In late April, I had the opportunity to shadow a PMHNP, Bethany Downey, who currently works at Nationwide Children’s Hospital in an outpatient setting.  I was with her all day, as I wanted to see what a day in the life of someone in this profession was like.  I loved every second of being there and learning about what she did.  Bethany had such a personal relationship with each and every one of her patients, as she was able to speak with each of them from 30 minutes to an hour and a half at each appointment.  She considered all aspects of their life, from home to school to social, in order to devise an appropriate and effective treatment plan for these children.  I could see how grateful each and every one of these kids was to have her in their lives, and I want to be able to provide that same relief and comfort to my patients one day.

Through the year, I continued to work at the Institiute for Behavioral Medicine on two breast cancer research studies.  This has been a great learning opportunity for me, and I hope to be able to continue this work throughout my undergraduate career.  There, I am able to learn a lot about therapeutic patient communication and the impact that cancer has on the lives and mental health of our participants.  I also began my own research with my honors advisor Dr. Fitzgerald.  Over the next year and a half, we will be looking at the reliability and validity of the Spanish translation of the IAPCC-R, a tool used in health care provider education and training on cultural competency.  I feel that this will be a valuable research project for me to be involved in because I will be working with diverse populations as a nurse, and learning now how to better my cultural care will only help me be a more effective nurse in the long run.  This summer, I will be starting a newly accepted job as a Patient Care assistant for Nationwide Children’s Hospital.  This, I feel, will be my first steps towards realizing my goal of working for Nationwide Children’s Hospital as a Psych Mental Health Nurse Practitioner in the years to come.