Introspection: Who are you?

Every day we walk through life, we should be living our best lives. Not many people can say they are living their best life, but that is likely because we have become an increasingly pessimistic society. We complain, we hold grudges, we care more about the perception someone else has of us than our own opinion of ourselves. We have lost ourselves in time.

What type of life do you want to live? Do you want to live a life that is filled with adventure, fun, passion, and lots of love? Do you want to live a life with regret, anger, contempt, and confusion? Select your path and allow me to introduce both sides in my story so you can understand what each has to give (or take).

My Story

I believe we all have a choice: a choice to be phenomenal or a choice to listen to the demeaning thoughts in our heads. Throughout my first year in college, I allowed the negative thoughts to deafen my optimistic spirit and kill me, slowly. Drained on a daily basis, I tried to obtain some source of motivation to take me out of this slump, but my motivations were all external. I questioned my intelligence, my sense of purpose, my life. I was going through a very tough stint in my life; however, depression became the present that would open my eyes to a new world. I was receiving all of my validation from the feelings of being liked by others, I was going to social media for validation (keeping up with the amount of likes and how many followers I had), and I was taken astray causing stress in my sense of existence. I felt so alone even when I was in a crowd of people, I felt envious toward those who had everything I felt I didn’t, I felt uncertain because I didn’t know who I was.

Self-Realization

I started to realize that all of the things I was pursuing were in fact driven by the external factors in my life, but not once did I ask myself what I wanted to become. As I began to come to this realization, I started to tend to myself and listen to that internal voice who has guided me in my journey of life. We all have our own answers, but many times we leave our own questions unanswered because we want to be able to correspond with the majority. We lose sight of the person who truly matters the most: ourselves. If we do not take care of ourselves, we cannot take care of someone else to the best of our ability. If we do not love ourselves, we will not be able to share a love that is full and wholehearted.

Takeaways

I learned that I must start appreciating myself and others would follow. When you understand who you are, you become authentic, you have genuine meaning in your voice, in your spirit. You are then not led by a false reality that you have shaped to fit in to society, but by something that lives within each of us, our heart. You discover that you are unique, that you are amazing, that you are one of a kind and nobody could ever replace you.

Usually we give out resources, but I do not want to throw resources at you because in the game of life, you are a resource to your self-actualization. You have the power to change your life and no one else has that leverage to do such a thing. To make the most of today, to live our best lives, we have to look deep within and start a new chapter in our book called self-appreciation, self-love, self-discovery. Everything else will follow, I promise!

So, I ask again what path will you choose, how do you want to live your life?

P.S. Watch this YouTube video.

Love the Skin You’re in!

How many times have you asked yourself, “Ugh! Do I look fat in this?” or, “How many calories are in [insert some ridiculously small portion of something here]?” or maybe even, “If I ask for seconds, will you judge?” Society has made us question ourselves far too long.

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Last year, Demi Levato said, “Kim Kardashian revolutionized our generation’s view of what beautiful is.” This view of beautiful is not realistic…at all. Perfect curves are not everyone’s reality, especially in college. The real question is,

How do I love the skin that I am in?

Great question! I am here to give you five tips as to how and why you should stop shaming yourself based on what you THINK you should look like.

Stop comparing yourself to others!

Just don’t do it. Accept yourself for who you are. Who says that you should look like the Victoria’s Secret model or have a perfect “beach bod”? Don’t listen to what society depicts as “beauty”. Beauty isn’t a certain shape, size, or color.

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Get off of the scale…please.

College is stressful, so it is possible that your weight will fluctuate. However, not only is “Freshman 15” a myth, it’s a surface-level concept. Besides, “healthy” isn’t always “skinny” and beauty isn’t only skin-deep. It goes beyond that!

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Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, focus on what you do have.

Make a list of things that you like about yourself. Appreciate the small things–whether that’s a widow’s peak, a gray hair, or a stretch mark–they’re what make you YOU! If everyone was the same, how much fun would that be? Remember, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side of the fence, and we are ALL human.

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If YOU don’t like it, do something.

Notice “you” is in all caps. What I mean is if you don’t like something about yourself, then make those changes for you. Don’t make them because someone else told you to or someone else told you that you were not good enough. That’s not true! It’s your life; your opinion is the only one that matters.

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Surround yourself with positive people.

Live your life according to your values and beliefs. Never feel pressured by those around you to be someone who you are not. Confide in family members, friends, and/or your Peer Leader, and seek out your support system when needed. You cannot change the people around you, but you CAN change the people around you.

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Culture can be a strong influence on our depiction of beauty, but it shouldn’t be. Media, TV, and movies should not be the preferred method for ideas of what a “perfect body” looks like because it simply doesn’t exist. Self-love and self-image SHOULD be at the upmost importance. Just remember, you are NEVER alone. If you ever have any concerns or struggling with self-esteem or body image issues, please visit Counseling and Consultation Services website to make an appointment to talk to a professional, you can meet with seek out the Student Wellness center for wellness coaching. Always remember to love the skin you’re in!

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