authenticity

Introspection: Who are you?

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Every day we walk through life, we should be living our best lives. Not many people can say they are living their best life, but that is likely because we have become an increasingly pessimistic society. We complain, we hold grudges, we care more about the perception someone else has of us than our own opinion of ourselves. We have lost ourselves in time.

What type of life do you want to live? Do you want to live a life that is filled with adventure, fun, passion, and lots of love? Do you want to live a life with regret, anger, contempt, and confusion? Select your path and allow me to introduce both sides in my story so you can understand what each has to give (or take).

My Story

I believe we all have a choice: a choice to be phenomenal or a choice to listen to the demeaning thoughts in our heads. Throughout my first year in college, I allowed the negative thoughts to deafen my optimistic spirit and kill me, slowly. Drained on a daily basis, I tried to obtain some source of motivation to take me out of this slump, but my motivations were all external. I questioned my intelligence, my sense of purpose, my life. I was going through a very tough stint in my life; however, depression became the present that would open my eyes to a new world. I was receiving all of my validation from the feelings of being liked by others, I was going to social media for validation (keeping up with the amount of likes and how many followers I had), and I was taken astray causing stress in my sense of existence. I felt so alone even when I was in a crowd of people, I felt envious toward those who had everything I felt I didn’t, I felt uncertain because I didn’t know who I was.

Self-Realization

I started to realize that all of the things I was pursuing were in fact driven by the external factors in my life, but not once did I ask myself what I wanted to become. As I began to come to this realization, I started to tend to myself and listen to that internal voice who has guided me in my journey of life. We all have our own answers, but many times we leave our own questions unanswered because we want to be able to correspond with the majority. We lose sight of the person who truly matters the most: ourselves. If we do not take care of ourselves, we cannot take care of someone else to the best of our ability. If we do not love ourselves, we will not be able to share a love that is full and wholehearted.

Takeaways

I learned that I must start appreciating myself and others would follow. When you understand who you are, you become authentic, you have genuine meaning in your voice, in your spirit. You are then not led by a false reality that you have shaped to fit in to society, but by something that lives within each of us, our heart. You discover that you are unique, that you are amazing, that you are one of a kind and nobody could ever replace you.

Usually we give out resources, but I do not want to throw resources at you because in the game of life, you are a resource to your self-actualization. You have the power to change your life and no one else has that leverage to do such a thing. To make the most of today, to live our best lives, we have to look deep within and start a new chapter in our book called self-appreciation, self-love, self-discovery. Everything else will follow, I promise!

So, I ask again what path will you choose, how do you want to live your life?

P.S. Watch this YouTube video.

To Lead is To Serve

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This year, I am part of the STEP program — the Second Year Transformational Experience Program. Sounds fancy, right?

Basically, this program is available to students living on-campus in their second year. You can “apply” by simply checking a box saying you’d like to be a part of the program when you apply for housing. I’m not pressuring you… BUT DO IT!!!

In STEP, you meet with a small group and faculty member weekly to discuss plans and ideas to ultimately receive $2,000 at the end of the year to use toward whatever suits your interests — whether it be to study abroad, take internships, do research — literally anything you can imagine.

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However, what I really want to share is the insight I have gained from my faculty advisor. When I first found out my group’s faculty member was an electrical engineering professor, you could say I wasn’t too thrilled. I am studying psychology and communication with a minor in public health (so basically I don’t know what I want to do with my life, but I do know it’s definitely not electrical engineering), and needless to say, I thought I wouldn’t get much out of his advice. But something that he emphasizes week after week has been stuck in my head lately: to lead is to serve.

This got me thinking. I definitely like to serve; I’m in a service fraternity, am part of the UNICEF club and felt like I was doing a pretty good job of “serving.” But what I’ve come to realize this year is that simply participating, showing up, and being aware is not enough. If we want to make a true impact in this world, we have to go beyond just putting in our hours of service and feeling like a good person because of it. Instead, we have to be engaged, thoughtful, inquisitive, and give a voice to those who cannot be heard.

This could mean creating a new service club focusing on an issue that you are passionate about, this could be recruiting others into your organization by sharing your enthusiasm, or this simply could be teaching others what you have learned in a particular service project and how you think you could make it better the next time.

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When I think more about the idea of to lead is to serve, I think of qualities in a leader that I find to be the most inspiring.

These are:

  1. Passion– I think it’s safe to say that there are no good leaders who lack passion. It takes a special person to be able to inspire an entire crowd with their own passion, and it always gives me the chills.
  2. Authenticity– Basically I see this as “being real.” It’s a person who shares their true self and understands they are human. This type of person is approachable and warm and doesn’t hide parts of themselves depending on the situation.
  3. Participator– I find a leader to be so much more valuable when they are able to practice what they preach. These leaders are involved in the grass roots and exemplify how to make an impact even at this level.
  4. Daring– A real leader is willing to take risks. A real leader is also willing to invest in their people and have faith in their abilities. When an inspiring leader has you take on a big project, you naturally step up to the challenge knowing that your abilities have been trusted.

An important thing to understand is that you do not have to hold a title to be a leader. A leader is someone who actively engages in the world around them, positively impacting the people they cross paths with regardless of whether they hold a special title or not. I encourage you all to reflect on yourselves and what type of impact and legacy you are leaving behind, because that’s all that really matters when it comes down to it, right? You can do it!

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