Reflection

14 things FYE Peer Leaders want you to know about the PL role

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Tyler

TYLER | This job tests your character. It will show your true colors, and how deep your heart truly is, in the blink of an eye. This can be a marvelous opportunity for people, but only if you let it. It is a job that allows you take it as far as you want to take it.

garcia-joanie

JOANIE | I don’t think I can fully explain how much this position has meant to me; it has not only shaped my Ohio State experience, but the students I mentor as well. It’s being a new Buckeye’s friend in times of hardship, listening to their stories about the highs and the lows, or even seeing them find success in their curricular and co-curricular experiences where they find a sense of belonging. Being a Peer Leader is much more than a job; it really is a lifestyle.

bradley-becca

BECCA | Helping first-year students navigate the ups and downs of college has helped me put things into perspective. Sometimes people just need someone to talk to, or someone to tell them they are on the right track. That can give them the confidence that they need. Being a Peer Leader is being that extra layer of support for the students who need it most. Through the Peer Leader position, there are opportunities to make a big impact in helping students find their home here on campus.

williams-alan

ALAN | Being a Peer Leader has been a great experience for me. It has allowed me to meet and make connections with a lot of great people. It has been really rewarding to help them adjust into college and watching them successfully adjust is absolutely the highlight of my job. I recommend any student applying for this role because it gives you the ability to have a positive impact on a very large number of people.

oconnor-shane

SHANE | At such a large university, there are many resources and people you may never need. However, there are many times that people need help but do not realize there is an office or person that can help them with exactly that situation. As a Peer Leader, you learn not only how to help others, but also where to go if you do not know yourself.

taylor-jenkins-tennea

TENNEA | As a Peer Leader, you have to be relatable. It’s important to remember that you are a student first, and that is what makes this role so valuable. Your own experiences will help you help others, but you have to be willing to share them.

edwards-kierra

KIERRA | I am beyond proud to say that because I took a chance, I had a great summer, made many memories, made awesome friends who I would not have made otherwise, was introduced to many opportunities, meet awesome students, learned that I love to help others, and grew an even bigger love for The Ohio State University.

cox-corey

COREY | As a Peer Leader, I have found great reward in sharing my experiences with first-year students here at Ohio State. During my first year, there were a lot of ups and downs, but I found my way through the rough patches. I learned a lot through those experiences, and this job has allowed me to share that with new first year students. I truly enjoy helping students find success here at Ohio State on a personal level.

ellis-kourtney

KOURTNEY | Think of everything you have learned throughout your college experience! Use that information to help first-year students! What do you wish you knew starting at Ohio State? As a Peer Leader, I am able to inform students about the resources around them and help them to make connections on campus and make Ohio State feel more like a community and home.

braggs-ken

KEN | Being a Peer Leader is not something to take lightly. It’s no easy feat. It’s not something you do to build a resume. You do it for the love and care you have for your students.

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BERTHA | When I first applied to the position, I was excited for the opportunity; however, I didn’t know that I would gain leadership skills and so much support from First Year Experience. This last semester, I also learned the importance of accountability, responsibility, and servant leadership. This office has taught me to be the leader I always wanted to be.

tomak-kayla

KAYLA | Several times a week, I get texts and emails from coworkers, supervisors, and even first-year students encouraging me to be healthy, happy, and successful in my own journey. I feel like I have 300 Peer Leaders of my own that want the best for me. This isn’t just a job- it’s a family.

ward-cyrah

CYRAH | This position is a great role for students who want to be involved with incoming first-year students in a way far beyond simply helping them move in. This position is also a great way to challenge yourself to step outside of your comfort zone. The most rewarding part of this position is seeing your students transition into college amazingly with the help of your love and guidance.

A.J Zanyk Photography 2015

SARAH | I am thankful for the opportunity the Peer Leader role has given me to support new students to the university. I am extremely thankful for the support I received during my first year at Ohio State and the Peer Leader role has allowed me to return the favor to other new students. It has been extremely rewarding to support new students and I have been able to grow and develop new skills in the process.

The application for the 2017-2018 FYE Peer Leader position is now available. Learn more and apply online at http://go.osu.edu/plapp. Applications are due by Tuesday, January 31, 2017. Happy holidays!

 

Did Somebody Say Finals Week?

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The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and the Oval is full of life. In the forefront of your mind, you are likely thinking about the summer plans taking place shortly. No matter what you will be doing, we all need some relaxation time! Amidst all of this happiness, you realize that the semester is almost over… meaning finals week is soon approaching us. Finals week this time of year can be a challenge for a few reasons:

  • The weather is beautiful and you want to spend every moment outside
  • This might be your last time on campus until the fall, so you want to take in every moment
  • You have to saying goodbye and see you later to the many friends you have made this year
  • You’re excited about summer plans and a long, much needed break

Keeping all of this in mind, here are some tips to tackle finals week and stay on top- even when you have spring fever.

Prioritize, prioritize, prioritize

The most precious thing that we have as college students is time. With only two weeks left and a lot to do, good time management is key. Make a list of things you have to get done each day. The key is to set small goals so you don’t get overwhelmed. For me, I make a to-do list for each day and set small, realistic tasks I know I can accomplish. Plus, it is so gratifying to finish a to-do list!

Use the outdoors to your advantage

The idea of being stuck inside the library for the next two weeks seems sad, but if you utilize the great spaces on campus you can enjoy the outdoors, too. Even if studying outside isn’t for you, try taking a a break by walking or tossing a Frisbee outside.

  • Study outside on a bench, picnic table, or grass
  • The courtyard in Hagerty Hall is a great place to study and relax
  • Try the nice grassy courtyard in between Park-Stradley and Siebert Halls

Take advantage of Reading Day

The Office of Student Life puts on an an entire day of free activities and events. Take a study break with some friends or even try a workout class to give your brain a rest. You can check out the schedule online for this year’s reading day, which is Tuesday, April 26.

Coordinate when you are moving out

With all of the assignments and studying, you might forget that you will need to make plans to move out of your residence hall if you live on campus. Talk to your RA or reach out to your Peer Leader if you need packing advice and travel tips, and review the information on the housing website to make sure you’re following move-out procedures correctly.

Make plans to stay in touch with your friends

All of your friends might be done with finals at different times, so it is important to stay on top of this. Plan ways to stay in touch with your friends over the summer, whether that be through Skype, texting, or even a trip! Having some trouble thinking of ways to stay in touch with your friends? Contact a Peer Leader!

Be thankful!

One of my most important values is gratitude, for a simple thank you goes a long way. I would not be at the place I am now without the professors, friends, and family who have guided me through my Ohio State journey. Make sure to thank those that made an impact on you before you leave for the summer. Here are a few ideas of people to thank:

  • The professor in the class you really enjoyed this semester, or the TA who helped you in your class
  • The cashier at the Ohio Union who always swiped your BuckID
  • The cleaning staff in your residence hall who made your building clean and safe
  • Your RA for building community and supporting you throughout your first year of college
  • The friends you have made at Ohio State
  • Your family for supporting you along this journey

With these tips, I hope you can tackle finals week. Take a deep breath and enter finals week organized, and of course thankful for a great first year.

Self-Reflection Through Self-Expression

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You’re about to make it through your first year of college in one piece (knock on wood). That’s a big deal, so give yourself some credit! My freshman year was so opposite of what I envisioned coming out of high school; it was actually one of the most challenging years of my life–socially, academically, psychologically, you name it. Despite the tough times, the real problem was that I–like countless others–tended to push the bad memories off to the side and focus on the good. However, I’ve learned the times I grew the most as a person were the times I was barely holding on. If you look back on the year without rose-colored glasses, you can really discover what worked and what didn’t, helping you to be cognizant of those things the second time through this fall! 

Now, there are many options for self-reflection. The great thing about it is that it’s for yourself, so you can make what you want out of it! Here are a few ideas to get you started:

Journaling

Claaaassic.

When people think of self-reflection, journaling is often the first thing that comes to mind. It’s a great way of getting thoughts onto paper and allows a space of unfiltered reflection. If you’re feeling super crazy, you could buy yourself a nice notebook and some sweet pens, too. 

Poetry

I’m a poet and I didn’t even know it, but I think it’s time I show it.

I’ve recently found poetry to be a really cool way of expressing what I’m feeling in an abbreviated form. The extra attention it takes for word choices and having to think through things like rhyme and rhythm (or not!) helps you to think about what you’re feeling and what you’re trying to say.

Music

“Lose yourself in the music, the moment, you own it, you better never let it go…”

Whether it’s putting sound to poetry, playing your favorite tunes on your favorite instrument, or just indulging in a few emotionally engaging songs, music as the universal language is a fantastic way of expressing and experiencing emotion without ever having to open your eyes!

Visual Art

A picture is worth a thousand words.

Whether you sketch, paint, photograph, etc., a visual representation of what you’ve been experiencing throughout your first year is a powerful way to express your feelings. It’s not an art contest; it’s for your own self-expression, so don’t be too critical on yourself if you aren’t the second coming of Michelangelo!

Whether you had the best year ever, or the worst of all time, reflecting back on it while it’s still fresh in your mind is something that can be helpful, rather than bottling it all up. Expressing yourself in some form can help you to know how to build upon your success this year, but just as important, how to take what you’ve been through and grow and learn from your shortcomings. Once you’ve taken the opportunity to look back and discover where you’ve grown–and need to continue to grow–you can look to the future with confidence that you’re a better version of yourself because of it. 

I recently wrote a poem about my first year struggles and how I dealt with it. If you’re interested, you can check it out here!

When Your First Year Doesn’t Go as Planned

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You had high hopes for your first year at Ohio State, but it’s probable some facet of your experience has fallen short of or been different from your original expectations. As second semester is wrapping up, you may be facing a few questions and concerns.

I was used to getting good grades in high school. What happened?

College is much different from high school in terms of academic expectations, the ways you are tested, and professor-student relationships. It is important not only to recognize these differences, but to take actions that will help you succeed in this new and more challenging learning environment.

The emphasis in college is more on the application of the material you are learning rather on the material itself. While taking an exam, you may find yourself thinking, “We didn’t go over how to do this problem in class!” Panic mode usually ensues and you get upset at the professor for doing such a thing. In reality, not much changes throughout college and even into the working world. This style of testing forces you to leverage what you do know and apply it to something you may have never seen before; it is a tough transition at first, but gets easier the more you learn how you study best (and how you “studied” in high school is likely not how you should be studying in college).

You also may have been used to having immediate and easy access to your teachers in high school; now, if you want help, you need to seek it out yourself. Gone are the days of exams that are just like the study guide. I can’t emphasize enough how valuable office hours can be if you do not understand material you have been going over in class or want to gain insight into what topics your professor finds most important in terms of testing. It may be difficult to believe, but your professors want you to succeed.

If you have not recieved the grades you were expecting, I know it can be discouraging, but believe me when I say, “It is okay!” The issue is not your intelligence or maybe even your effort; it is likely that you have not made the transition from the high school mentality towards education to the college mentality. What can you do about it?

  • Use a planner or electronic calendar (I use Google Calendar) to plan out when you will study/work on homework for each week
  • Take study breaks and be conscious of your engagement level.
  • Don’t cram. Try to keep up with material as you are going through it in class.

 

I tried to get involved but I haven’t found the meaningful involvement I thought I would.

There is often a period of feeling like the “new guy” when you begin coming around to different organizations, but the more you go, the more people you begin to recognize and get to know, and the more friends you begin to make in that organization. Eventually, you will start to feel like it is a place you belong if you are patient and make it through that initial adjustment period.

It certainly helps to try and find organizations that align with your values, goals, or views on life as it becomes a place in which you feel refreshed and encouraged. I did not begin feeling like I truly found opportunities that helped me grow as an individual and feel as if I was integrated into the community until my second year.

During my first year, I went through huge changes in terms of what role my faith played in my life. It became my everything and so naturally, I got involved with a church on campus called H2O where I could continue to grow, learn, and be a part of an extremely caring community that can be fully empathetic toward my struggles and frustrations with life, with full understanding of my world view. This is not me saying that diversity of opinions in your life is to be avoided; rather, I’m emphasizing the importance of having support from a community that understand where you are coming from.

  • BE PATIENT. We all need to get over our culturally-imposed need for immediate gratification and be patient.
  • Figure out what you really care about in life, then sort through what types of organizations you may be interested in.
  • Deeply invest yourself in people and community. You probably won’t get much out of organizations if you view them as if they exist to serve you.
  • You are a Buckeye and you have a home at Ohio State. Finding that is the challenge, but it’s worth investing the time and energy to find it.

I still have no idea what I want to major in.

You are not alone! I changed my major in my second year. It happens. Focus on what you want your life to be about and how you want to use it, then work backwards and seek out opportunities in which you can contribute toward that purpose through your career. This summer is a good time to do some soul searching.

  • Reflect but know there’s no right answer. You will gain better direction as you get exposed to what is really out there through out your college career. Don’t be afraid to take opportunites to learn about new things.
  • A. W. Tozer’s Rules for Self-Discovery:
    • What we want most
    • What we think about most
    • How we use our money
    • What we do with our leisure time
    • The company we enjoy
    • Who and what we admire
    • What we laugh at

College is a huge time for personal growth but that doesn’t  happen if you do everything perfectly. Know that most people–including me–still struggle with these very same issues. I’ve found it helps to view college as a time to learn and develop your values, beliefs, and what truly interests you in life; the rest has a way of falling into place.

Life After Formal Sorority Recruitment: The Social and Financial Realities

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Bid Day is the final day of the exhausting, two-week formal recruitment process. Not only is Bid Day the end of recruitment, it is also the beginning of a whirlwind experience that is joining a sorority. It is the first day in the journey of becoming an initiated, life-long member of a national organization. If you are like me and signed up for formal sorority recruitment on a whim–without any family members who had ever participated–you are probably feeling completely overwhelmed in the weeks following Bid Day.
bid day

I began thinking about signing up for sorority recruitment during my first semester when I felt nostalgic and missing my girlfriends from home, who I had spent endless hours with rehearsing and performing. It occurred to me that a sorority might be a way for me to replicate that community of girlfriends that I cherished. I loved high school because of friendships with older girls I admired and then becoming that person who younger girls looked up to. In other words, I wanted to be someone’s little, and then be someone’s BIG.

That right there was the extent to which I thought through the decision to sign up for sorority recruitment. I didn’t ask questions about how much it cost. I didn’t ask questions about the new member process. I was completely unprepared for being a member of the Greek Community.

What I wish I had known as a first-year student going Greek:

The Costs

According the most recent data, the average new sorority member will pay $1,280 per semester.

  • $1,280 x 7 semesters = nearly $9,000 over the course of four years
  • I need to earn $80/week during the 16-week semester to pay for it
  • Some chapters have payment plans and additional scholarships – for example, my friend washes dishes to help pay dues.
  • The reality: The majority of students are not paying their Greek life dues on their own. There is limited socioeconomic diversity.

Financial barriers

Our campus should be sensitive to the fact that access to participating in Greek life is limited to those who can pay for it. If you have a friend who may really have wanted to try Greek life, but cannot afford it:

  • Only 11% of Ohio State is Greek! Encourage your friend to seek out involvement that provides a similar community – you can find incredible friends in other student organizations.
  • Invite her to hang out with your friends in your sorority. My best friend from freshman year did not go Greek but I take her as my date to different functions and she was always welcome at my sorority house.
  • Be careful with how you paint your experience and be aware of your friend’s feelings. It’s important to share the exciting moments as well as the overwhelming ones. A sorority experience is not a perfect one.

columbus half

The realities of sisterhood

  • A sisterly bond is stronger than friends, right? That bond does not form overnight. You become sisters with 100 girls and getting to know them takes time. It might take a whole semester just to learn names. Be patient. I wasn’t sure if Greek Life would be for me until my sophomore year when my sisters became some of my best friends.
  • Go to your new member meetings! The New Member educator’s primary responsibility is to care about your transition to the sorority. The New Member educator cares that you feel comfortable–talk to them.
  • Not everyone who goes Greek drinks alcohol. In fact, it is an expectation that as a member, you act responsibly and represent your chapter well. There is a team of sober monitors to enforce the rules at every event with alcohol present. In my sorority, the other sober monitors dress up in ridiculous outfits like footie pajamas! If you feel pressure to drink to make friends, or feel that a majority of the experience is drinking, talk to your chapter advisors and executive board.
  • It’s unrealistic to think you are going to be best friends with every girl in your chapter…or even want to be. This is where that sister component comes in. Sorority sisters should value each individual and respect them regardless if you like them.
  • The reasons you join are different than the reasons you stay. Look out for the reasons that make your sorority a really positive influence in your life.

Lastly, keep in mind that sororities that fall under PHA are just one branch of Greek life. Members of multicultural Greek organizations, academic Greek organizations, and fraternity men go through this transition into their chapters as well. No branch of Greek life is better than any other; support and honor your fellow Greeks!

 

pl greek

 

Senioritis plagues us all

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We’re at the beginning of Week 7, and I still feel like the semester is just starting. Every week I look at my syllabi and have no idea what’s going on in my classes. I’m graduating in May–less than 3 months away!–and I have less motivation than ever before. I feel very apathetic about doing the things I need to get done.

I’ve heard from a few first-year students that have admitted they’re in similar situations. The weather has been snowy and dreary, and if you mix that with a warm, comfy blanket and Netflix, you get a perfect storm that equals you not going to class. Trust me, I’ve been there! And the weather recently has been so nice that I want to spend more time outside, instead of studying in the library.

For some people, it’s more than the weather. Once the newness of classes wears off, our obligations don’t seem as important. We get in a rut and convince ourselves that not going to [fill in the blank] won’t really matter. We need to be reminded that our choices can have serious repercussions later down the road if we’re not careful. Letting yourself skip one class becomes five classes, and suddenly you’ve missed a few pop quizzes. It’s a slippery slope to go down!

If you think you might be sliding down that slippery slope, as yourself these questions:

  • Have I been managing my time well?
  • When I have free time, I usually ______.
  • Do I tend to procrastinate instead of working ahead?

It’s easy to think that the answer is to tell myself that I should do better or I just need to try harder. Except that’s not encouraging, and definitely not what I want to hear. I think it’s okay to recognize that these feelings are valid, but it’s not okay to keep sitting in this season of complacency. I can see where I’m really pulling away from some responsibilities, and why I don’t want to experience those outcomes.

Here are a few things to keep in mind if you’re in the same boat:

  • Reward yourself only AFTER you’ve accomplished a set task. (e.g. I’ll spend 15 minutes on Instagram after I finish reading Chapter 12.)
  • Change your scenery. Do you always workout at JOS? Try rock climbing at the ARC. Always study at Thompson? Try a study room in your residence hall. Sometimes exploring new settings can help re-energize you!
  • Identify what’s holding you back from success. Is it the need for a nap? Or do you get stuck watching hours of Netflix? Do you always say yes to hangout with friends when you need to study?

The struggle to find motivation plagues all of us at one point or another. Think about some of my suggestions and how you see those playing out in your own life. I also encourage you to start a conversation with a roommate, friend, coworker or mentor about different motivation strategies. Maybe someone has a cool approach that you want to try!

As always, know that the FYE Peer Leaders are here to help! Reach out to one of us if you have any questions or concerns. You can also email me directly: hageman.64s@osu.edu.

Dear Freshman Libby

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Dear freshman Libby,

First thing I would like to say is good job! You’ve done a pretty good job or keeping yourself together this far! We’ve had a few bumps in the road, but nothing we couldn’t get through without the help of friends and family and eating your feelings. But there are some words of advice I would like to give you…

First, because this is hitting you hard right now, your life after college is not going to be as perfect as you planned. Remember how you thought you would get this amazing job for two years then go to your dream law school? That’s not working out quite as planned, but as you have learned from two amazing grad students that is okay. It is okay to have no idea what you are doing with your life (even though your parents are not too happy with that idea). Everything will fall into place.

Second, academics are really important. I know you want the friends you have made to think you are funny and cool and are like the greatest person they have ever met, but guess what?! They will care about you no matter if you go out that night or not. Focus on school. Your friends will always be there.

Third, do something outside your comfort zone. You have always played it safe because that is the easy way to do things. Raise your hard in class even if you only kind of know the answer, talk to that cute boy you see in class, apply for that job/internship you never think you will get, and always remember the quote from We Bought a Zoo:

You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. All it takes is 20 seconds of insane courage and great things will happen.

Fourth, don’t take your quick four years here at Ohio State for granted. This place has so much to offer, so take advantage of it all. In 2012, 2016 seemed like a long time away, but here we are. We have done a lot of amazing things here at Ohio State and I am proud of the women we have become, freshman Libby. I can’t wait to see what the next four years have in store for us.

Here’s to 2020.

Love,

Senior Libby

Best Friends or Roommates: Same Thing?

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It’s that time of year: time to decide who you will spend the entirety of next year sharing your precious personal space with and calling your roommate. For some, the decision may come easy. But for many, the decision feels dreadful. Day in and day out I see friends posting Buzzfeed articles on Facebook entitled, “20 Reasons How You Know Your Roommate is Your Best Friend” or “8 Reasons Why Living with Your Best Friend is the Greatest Thing Ever.” Living with your best friend could be a great decision. But I have also seen the opposite be true; many friendships fall apart after deciding to live together. Some people, regardless of how close of a relationship, will not make good roommates and that is okay! As it comes time to make your decision, I recommend having an honest conversation with your potential roommate about living preferences. What matters is that you will be good roommates and do not necessarily have to be best friends.

Roommate Picture

Two years ago I struggled immensely with the decision of who would be my sophomore year roommate. There were at least four different contenders, and I was closer with some than others. However, I ultimately decided to live with a friend that I was not nearly as close with (at the time) but I knew for a fact we would be phenomenal roommates. We lived next door to each other during our first year, and it was very clear when you walked into either room which desks were ours based on the level of organization and cleanliness. Also, I knew I would feel comfortable talking with her if an issue were ever to arise (which fortunately didn’t end up happening!). While some may not believe me, I can honestly say I don’t think we had a single disagreement all year.

Being able to come home at the end of a long day to a room that I knew would be clean and drama free was a major reason I found my groove during my second year. Living with a fellow introvert, I knew that I could come home and just stick headphones in if I needed alone time. She wouldn’t misunderstand my need for quiet, thinking I was mad or upset. She recognized that we both sometimes just needed quiet time and that was not a reflection on her. Other days, we had great times together just hanging out and being silly. It was through this mutual respect and understanding, that we became great friends over the course of the year and ended up traveling across the United States together. I am so thankful that I picked my roommate based on someone who I knew would make a compatible roommate because that created the foundation for a wonderful friendship.

While I was fortunate to have made a great decision, some of my other friends found their friendships deteriorate because living with a best friend ended up being harder than they thought. I was so thankful day after day that I could confidently say that I had such a stress-free living environment. After all, there are plenty of other stresses that come with being a college student. Do you want to add the stress of incessant roommate disagreements and arguments? Think through your preferences and communicate with your potential roommate before you sign the housing contact. Don’t forget to submit your housing and roommate preferences by Feb. 26!

Reasons Why Commuting is the Best!

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Flashback to my senior year in high school, my family had just found out that my dad had been offered a job in Ohio. I didn’t know anything about Ohio State or what a Buckeye even was. Little did I know, I was about to be a part of something greater. Fast forward to a national championship in football and one amazing summer of orientation, and I began my junior year as a commuter! Commuting was definitely a challenge to adjust to and there are days that I still struggle to get to campus on time. However today, I want to focus on why commuting is actually so great!

You get to have your car on campus!

You are the ultimate expert of Columbus. You know the ins and outs and the secret places that everyone wished they knew. Take this as an opportunity to invite your friends to your favorite brunch place, the local park or one of the malls in and around Columbus! Some of the best memories of my freshman year were off-campus adventures! I can guarantee you that your friends will appreciate your effort! If you need some inspiration or ideas of some great Columbus events, check out Experience Columbus!

You get to have some more “Me” Time!

If you’re anything like me, I typically get up an hour before I have to leave, which doesn’t leave much time for me to mentally prepare for the day. During my commute, I typically find myself making a mental list of things I need to accomplish. Use this time to also check in with yourself to make sure you are ready to take on the week!

You get to have a daily mood boost!

For me, that looks like blasting some Beyoncé or some Coldplay. I can always count on music to really set my mood for the day. If you’re completely done with listening to music or morning radio shows and you want a more productive start to your day, listen to the news, NPR, or a new podcast! You can also try and learn a new a language! There are so many things that you can accomplish before your class even starts. Carpe diem!

Whether your commute is 15 minutes or over an hour, try and make the best out of your commuting time! Being positive about your commute will allow you to not only be productive but also more relaxed and ready to take on the day! Who knows, you might even start looking forward to your commutes!

A Picture is Worth A Thousand Words

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1306_SLA_Headshots_049

Cameras were designed to capture a moment forever, but how often are those images truly congruent with those moments? I can produce thousands of words to describe this picture: student leader, successful, involved, confident, perfect; yet, not one of these words even comes close to describing how I felt the moment that picture was taken.

This photo was taken early last fall semester, which was arguably my hardest semester to date. I was taking a full course load, working 10 hours a week, had my hands tied in too many student organizations to count, and was trying to train for a marathon amongst the madness. Since the majority of my course load fell on Tuesday and Thursday, I decided to fill the other days of the week with meetings, responsibilities, and commitments. As you can imagine, Tuesday through Thursday were by no means relaxing; however, my best friend and I managed to find time to get brunch at a different, local diner every Tuesday, making Tuesdays just slightly more bearable than Wednesday and Thursday. During this particular week, those days seemed almost intolerable.

On Thursday, September 3, I woke up around 6:30 a.m. like I did every Thursday to get ready. Thursdays were especially challenging since in addition to attending five classes, I also had a business professional meeting in the middle of the afternoon. Although the struggle here may seem to be walking to class in heels since I often had no time to change, the real struggle was my internal conflict with the organization for which I was attending this business professional meeting. I slowly but surely began falling out of love with something that once brought me so much joy. I felt frustrated after this meeting but knew I had to cultivate the energy to last me through three more rigorous classes.

After the clock struck 5:15 p.m., indicating the end of my last class, the day seemed to have produced a silver lining. I went to Scott Traditions with a good friend before heading to the first Student Leadership Advocates (SLA) meeting of the semester. SLA is an organization that has brought me significant happiness during my collegiate experience and I often feel quite comforted when I am there. This particular SLA meeting occurred in the same room as my meeting from earlier in the day, but I tried to move past my pessimistic thoughts and insecurities and jumped into a conversation with some friends about their summer.

About ten minutes into the meeting our supervisor announced that the photographer was waiting in the hallway to take everyone’s pictures.

What photographer? I didn’t bring my polo.

As you can imagine, I was often quite scatterbrained on Wednesday nights and, as a result, had not check my email. As I scrolled through my cluttered inbox, I saw it in the fourth line down in my SLA supervisor’s email: 

7 p.m.–photographer arrives! Take photos for the Buckeyes of Distinction TV screen (so look good and bring your polo!). 

There are very few things I hate in this world more than mushrooms and people wearing their name tags on the wrong side of their shirt, but being unprepared is one of these things. I attribute this hatred of being unprepared to not wanting to let people see what I perceived of myself: that my life was a disaster. A friend so politely offered to let me borrow her black polo for the picture, which I tried to make look classy and normal with the pleated navy blue dress I was still wearing from earlier that day. As I stood on the balcony of the second floor of the Ohio Union with a fake smile while the photographer took my photo, that moment was worth a thousand words, among them being: forced, tired, stressed, uncomfortable, broken and unauthentic—none of which are words I would expect anyone to attribute to this picture let alone my life.

The pressure to be perfect is powerful indeed and is perhaps something that has guided my life for the past twenty years; however, we must be vulnerable and brave enough to tell our own stories that pictures could never tell. To many I am seen as a person who has it “all figured out”, but I can assure you that I am constantly battling insecurities, working to improve my weaknesses, and still trying to figure life out one day at a time, too. So, in conclusion, don’t judge a book by its cover or a picture by its filters because I guarantee you that nearly every photo is hiding a story untold.

Start this semester off strong by taking the initiative to take care of yourself because YOU MATTER.

Mental health resources on Campus:

Counseling and Consultation Services

Student Wellness Center

Psychological Services Center

Suicide Prevention Resources