Introspection: Who are you?

Every day we walk through life, we should be living our best lives. Not many people can say they are living their best life, but that is likely because we have become an increasingly pessimistic society. We complain, we hold grudges, we care more about the perception someone else has of us than our own opinion of ourselves. We have lost ourselves in time.

What type of life do you want to live? Do you want to live a life that is filled with adventure, fun, passion, and lots of love? Do you want to live a life with regret, anger, contempt, and confusion? Select your path and allow me to introduce both sides in my story so you can understand what each has to give (or take).

My Story

I believe we all have a choice: a choice to be phenomenal or a choice to listen to the demeaning thoughts in our heads. Throughout my first year in college, I allowed the negative thoughts to deafen my optimistic spirit and kill me, slowly. Drained on a daily basis, I tried to obtain some source of motivation to take me out of this slump, but my motivations were all external. I questioned my intelligence, my sense of purpose, my life. I was going through a very tough stint in my life; however, depression became the present that would open my eyes to a new world. I was receiving all of my validation from the feelings of being liked by others, I was going to social media for validation (keeping up with the amount of likes and how many followers I had), and I was taken astray causing stress in my sense of existence. I felt so alone even when I was in a crowd of people, I felt envious toward those who had everything I felt I didn’t, I felt uncertain because I didn’t know who I was.

Self-Realization

I started to realize that all of the things I was pursuing were in fact driven by the external factors in my life, but not once did I ask myself what I wanted to become. As I began to come to this realization, I started to tend to myself and listen to that internal voice who has guided me in my journey of life. We all have our own answers, but many times we leave our own questions unanswered because we want to be able to correspond with the majority. We lose sight of the person who truly matters the most: ourselves. If we do not take care of ourselves, we cannot take care of someone else to the best of our ability. If we do not love ourselves, we will not be able to share a love that is full and wholehearted.

Takeaways

I learned that I must start appreciating myself and others would follow. When you understand who you are, you become authentic, you have genuine meaning in your voice, in your spirit. You are then not led by a false reality that you have shaped to fit in to society, but by something that lives within each of us, our heart. You discover that you are unique, that you are amazing, that you are one of a kind and nobody could ever replace you.

Usually we give out resources, but I do not want to throw resources at you because in the game of life, you are a resource to your self-actualization. You have the power to change your life and no one else has that leverage to do such a thing. To make the most of today, to live our best lives, we have to look deep within and start a new chapter in our book called self-appreciation, self-love, self-discovery. Everything else will follow, I promise!

So, I ask again what path will you choose, how do you want to live your life?

P.S. Watch this YouTube video.

Failure is a Necessity to be The BEST You

Failing, in my opinion, is a significant part of the college experience. For many, college is where you learn all about who you are as a person and you learn what you would like to do in your future. When you don’t take on new things, however, most times you never find your passion. We often don’t take on new things because we are scared that the other side of that chance is failure. What we often don’t know is failure allows you to grow, gain knowledge and become more in sync with who you are. 

I recently interviewed for a prestigious program on campus. In the interview, they asked me an interesting question: what would you do if you couldn’t fail? My immediate thought was to say “Tim, I would do everything that I’d like to do now, become a counseling psychologist, start directing films, and create my nonprofit mentoring program for under-served student populations.” I want you to think about this question for a second and decide what you would do if you couldn’t fail. Now, let me tell you what I would do now after I took some time to self reflect. My answer would be NOTHING, because without failure the best ideas you have would only be mediocre. They wouldn’t amount to anything or have much impact because you never struggled; your road to success was a straight line. Life brings many different struggles, failures, and obstacles, but with each of these three things comes wisdom, resilience, and passion. You grow when there are challenges within your life, and you must choose to learn from the situation at hand, so in your future you can surpass it with ease.  

I am pretty confident to say all of the greatest innovators have failed and faced heart-breaking obstacles, but eventually they chose to learn from their failures and make the most out of what they’d taken in. You cannot give up ever! Steven Spielberg, one of the greats of cinematography was rejected multiple times by a school he wanted to enroll in to make his dreams become a realityHe didn’t quit, he didn’t let the rejection hinder his dreams; instead, he chose to be more creative, stay driven and eventually that school named the cinematography building after him

Take on New Opportunities 

Don’t be afraid to fail! Take on new opportunities, take risks, and challenge yourself because we only have one life to liveLIVE YOUR BEST LIFE! Try new things, set goals and don’t let anything deter you from getting to those goals. We must have drive, passion and love for what we do and if we do not, there is no point in doing it. Our time is limited, so make the most of every second, every minute, every hour and day of your college experience.  

Fail Spectacularly 

When you fail, fail spectacularly, as Leslie Odom Jr. says. Embrace your failure and learn from your mistakes. If you failed to get into something that you wanteddon’t let it hurt you; rather, let it drive you to bring more creative ideas to the table, to grow, and to prove wrong the people who don’t believe in you. Michael Jordan said that he failed over and over again in his life, but that’s why he succeeded. His failures motivated him to work harder, to play smarter, and to be more creative on the court.  

I choose to FAIL, to learn and to let my failures become my driving force to be successful, and I hope that you will, too!