Picture this: you are sitting at dinner with your friends after a long day of classes, when all of a sudden you look up and everyone at the table is staring at their phones – not talking. Everyone is ignoring one another to consume whatever is on their device. The digital wellness community refers to this phenomenon as phubbing.
Phubbing is defined by the Digital Wellness Institute as, “the practice of ignoring one’s companion(s), in order to pay attention to one’s phone or other mobile device.”
If you find yourself doing this frequently throughout the day, you are not alone. Studies show that 48% of people report phubbing others 2-3 times or more per day. And 56% indicate that they are phubbed 2-3 times or more per day.
Phubbing has a negative impact on our relationships and even our mental health, with phubbing causing feelings of exclusion and rejection. Phubbing causes us to have less meaningful conversations with others and those who phub come off as less polite and attentive.
While our phones are a great social tool to connect with others who are not physically nearby, technology is putting a divide in the face-to-face interactions we have with others. And we are normalizing it in our community.
To make a change for more meaningful relationships, conversations and overall interactions. Prioritize these three easy steps in your daily routine.
- Practice mindfulness. A lot of people assume mindfulness is just meditation, but it is so much more than that! We all have the opportunity to move through our day mindfully. This means paying attention and being fully present in the moment with ourselves and others aka not checking our phone in the middle of a conversation. Embrace all of your senses and really take notice of your surrounding environment: who is with you, what are you hearing, seeing, etc. what are your emotions in this moment?
- Set technology free boundaries with friends and family. When getting together with family and friends, vocalize that you would like this to be a technology free hang out. If necessary, put phones in another room to focus on spending quality time with one another.
- Call out phubbing when you see it and apologize when you do it. Tell your family and friends that you are making the conscious effort to be more present in your interactions. Call them out when they are on their phones and tell them to do the same to you! If you notice yourself phubbing, no need to be hard on yourself, apologize and do better moving forward.
Set this goal, enjoy the memories you are making rather than focusing on the instagrammable moments or what others are doing. Be more present in your interactions and celebrate the positive impacts it has on your relationships, conversations, and overall interactions.
If you feel like you need help separating yourself from your devices, seek help at one of the many support resources on campus. For mild or moderate concerns visit the Student Life Student Wellness Center’s Wellness Coaching program or for more severe concerns visit a team member at Counseling and Consultation Service.
References:
-Jordan Helcbergier, Wellness Coordinator