1. Please provide a brief description of your STEP Signature Project.
I participated in an indoor percussion group called Cap City. I marched bass drum, and our season consisted of rehearsals in Dayton every weekend, with competitions beginning in February. We competed at the Independent World Class level within both OIPA and WGI Sport of the Arts circuits, and we were WGI World Championship finalists in our class.
2. What about your understanding of yourself, your assumptions, or your view of the world changed/transformed while completing your STEP Signature Project?
I have never before been challenged as mentally, physically, and emotionally as I have been by marching Cap City. What I do is most comparable to the Ohio State University Marching Band, yet still very different. First difference is that there is only percussion, with a drumline and a front ensemble. We also perform on a tarp inside a gym. Lastly, instead of learning and performing a new show every week like the marching band, we only had one show. Every time we performed it, it would get better and better. By the end, our goal is perfection. That show is also much more challenging in both music and drill than any Ohio State show. That’s the level of world class in this activity.
I have always looked up to this group, since I first saw Cap City perform in seventh grade. Since then, I have never been able to imagine myself competing at this level. It always felt beyond me. I was in a Scholastic A Class group in high school, and then joined Cap City 2 after, an Independent Open Class group. Both of these groups also competed in OIPA and WGI circuits, like Cap City. And through all of that time, I have been able to watch Cap City World perfect their high level shows every year, looking up to them in the same way I looked up to the marching band. When I auditioned this year and made Cap City, I still felt like I didn’t belong there. That I wasn’t good enough. I had to work my butt off at rehearsals, but so did everyone else around me, and I found that I could keep up. That I could do this activity at the level that Cap City demands. And that is one of my proudest accomplishments.
3. What events, interactions, relationships, or activities during your STEP Signature Project led to the change/transformation that you discussed in #2, and how did those affect you?
I learned that I could do this activity at the world class level by diving head first into it. Not only is Cap City a world class group, but they have been finalists for the last several years, meaning they are one of the top groups in the activity. There are hundreds of groups that compete in the different classes of WGI, so that is a huge accomplishment. Even at auditions, I had to march and play at the staff’s expectations of world class. This really pushed me to the edge of my own abilities. As I was busy with classes and the marching band during fall semester, I had to make time to learn the music for auditions. This led to several weeks of practicing all of the time, staying at the band center as late as midnight playing my bass drum. I was tired, and genuinely more burnt out than I have ever been. But this is a goal I have wanted to accomplish for years. Cap City was beyond the level of anything I had ever done before, and I wanted to get a spot, to make world class, more than anything,
When I made it to the auditions, I already felt behind because I couldn’t make it to the first audition. That weekend, I was traveling with the marching band for the Notre Dame game. When I showed up to the second audition, everyone else had gotten comments the week before that they had an entire week to fix, and any comments I was given I had to apply immediately to keep up. The following week, during callbacks, I had never been so nervous. Years of experience in this activity had led up to that moment, and every mistake I made was a step closer to failing to accomplish that dream. Finally, callbacks ended, and I got a contract. I got a spot. But every mistake I had made that day still resonated with me, and I didn’t yet feel like a world class performer.
Despite already having a spot, I had to work just as hard in the following few weeks to keep up with the expectations. On weekends, I applied everything I had practiced during the week, and I was pleasantly surprised when I was able to keep up. I don’t have an exact moment for when it clicked, but sometime over the next several weeks, I felt like I deserved the spot that I had earned. That was the greatest feeling, and one that was both gratifying and freeing. I was able to enjoy myself more both during and outside of rehearsals. I could get Taco Bell with the other bass drums at 11 pm after rehearsals and be proud of what I did that day. I could joke around with other members on meal breaks and not be stressed about the next block. I could live in the moment, and appreciate the feeling of performing in world class.
My focus in explaining the transformation within myself was the first few weeks because that is when it happened. My season lasted from September until April. But that transformation, of realizing I was able to be a world class performer, happened over several weeks at the beginning of the season. Despite how unworthy I felt during and directly after auditions, I was able to keep up with everyone else. Although I thought that making world class would be my greatest accomplishment, it was instead when I felt like I deserved to be in world class. That is my greatest accomplishment, watching myself meet and exceed the expectations of this group and this class. I will forever be grateful to Cap City for that feeling.
4. Why is this change/transformation significant or valuable for your life?
I am not a music major. I am instead a biology major on a pre-vet track. Career wise, this isn’t an activity that is translatable. Playing bass drum does not make me a better veterinarian. However, the skills that I learn from the process can be applied. I can carry the same idea of practice to my veterinary career. I was not at the level I felt I needed to march at Cap City when I first got a spot. That is similar to the feeling I will have when I first get to vet school. I will have to practice before I start feeling comfortable. My time at Cap City taught me to be okay with being uncomfortable. With continuing to work hard and put my best effort into something I know I am not good enough at yet. Not only is that translatable to my veterinary career, but it can apply to all aspects of my life.
I will always remember the feeling of accomplishment when I felt like I belonged. When the hard work I put in while feeling uncomfortable finally paid off. That can be a motivating factor for me to continue working hard in veterinary school, even when I don’t feel good about where I am at. It doesn’t matter where I start, it matters where I am at the end of the season. Where I am at the end of vet school. It is a challenge I am ready to meet head on, one where I can use the same work ethic and determination that got me through this season.
OMG Michaela twins! Go Cap Go!