My step project was to take private piano lessons to further my piano education. I found an instructor online and we met via zoom once a week. I purchased sheet music and other supplies that helped supplement my learning. My skills progressed immensely during this time!
Piano for me is very therapeutic. When I am playing it gives my brain something to focus on. This allows my brain to let go of whatever is stressing me. Whenever I stand up from the piano bench I always leave in a better headspace than I arrived. This has taught me ways to help myself when I am feeling overwhelmed or anxious.
Piano also provides a challenge for me. It is hard for my neurodivergent brain to learn new things. Especially learning to play an instrument from scratch. This experience has given me a new perspective on my capabilities. I used to have a hard time trying new things even if I wanted to because I was too overwhelmed and did not know where to even begin. Learning to play the piano has given me the confidence within myself to learn new things even if it is challenging. Since I started my STEP project I have also started to learn how to play the ukulele and how to crochet. I do not think I would have attempted to learn these things prior to this experience.
One thing that was important and taught me a valuable lesson is that not everyone is a good fit. I interviewed a few piano instructors before I met Hannah. The other people were all great, but I did not feel like their methods would be conducive for my learning and goals. I sometimes have a hard time telling people no, so the first thing I overcame during my project was trusting myself and saying no until I found the right person. I also built a great relationship with Hannah. She was kind and patient even when I was frustrated with myself. Her behavior helped me learn to be more patient with myself.
Another way this project transformed me was by challenging me in new ways. In the beginning I easily grew frustrated with myself because usually I knew what I needed to do but my fingers would not cooperate. As the project progressed I learned how to handle errors with ease, I continued playing without cringing or stopping to restart entirely. This was a valuable lesson for me to learn. I need to be more patient with myself. Once I became more patient with myself I progressed faster because I was not putting as much pressure on myself to succeed.
I have never liked being the center of attention. For school projects it was one thing, because it was for a grade and even if I were to stumble my words it never felt personal. Playing an instrument feels more personal. To me it feels like I am conveying a piece of myself through the keys. I connect with the music on a deeper level, so it feels like I am exposing a piece of myself if I play while others are around. When one plays an instrument it makes noise and draws attention. This took getting used to because I am not one to seek that type of attention. It still feels odd sometimes but I have also learned to be proud of myself and accept praise from people because I deserve it. This came with time and it got easier the more comfortable and confident I became at the bench.
I think that this experience has changed the way I view myself and the world around me. I feel like a more creative person. And I feel more confident and capable of trying new things and skills. Even if I have no idea where to begin and it feels overwhelming. I think that the things I learned about myself throughout my project will be with me throughout my entire life. And I plan to continue to practice the piano and continue improving every day!
Learning another strategy to help manage and alleviate anxiety is important to help my academic and professional performance. Practicing the piano allows me to set my worries aside and ground myself back to reality. This makes it easier to focus on tasks. I think I am a better, more developed person than I was before playing the piano. It took a lot of courage to try something that I was brand new to in front of a random stranger and try even though I knew I would fail, a lot. But I am proud of myself for persevering!
