My STEP project entailed traveling to Arizona then volunteering my time at the Coconino National Forest doing trail work. After Coconino National Forest, we backpacked for 4 days in the Grand Canyon and then white water rafted for the last 3 days out of the canyon.
Through my time volunteering for the forest service, I learned that I definitely want to live a life where I have the ability to work outside and with my hands. I was educated by the forest rangers about the importance of trails and how they are ‘sacrificial path through nature’ that is required in order to allow the general public to truly appreciate nature without causing excess harm to it. I was able to apply that logic to my career field as a hopeful wildlife and zoo veterinarian, as now I think of animals in captivity as a partial sacrifice for the general public to learn about the importance of conservation and the beauty of animals. I learned about how strong I am as an individual and as a woman— how capable I am of creating real lasting change for people to enjoy for years to come.
Matt Hartman, the leader of our group taught me so much about my relationship to nature and my relationship to others. Each morning, before work or before a hike, we would have a stretch circle where he would share a portion from his book on leadership and ask for our individual perspectives and thoughts. He made everyone feel truly heard and validated. He also was extremely patient with me as I berated him with questions on life advice and how to navigate internal debates between my mind and my heart. I would not have felt nearly as comfortable opening up to others without his presence, he made the trip as special as it was.
As for the backpacking portion of the trip, I learned about how strong I am as an individual and how I actually can do the things that I deem impossible. The hike out of the canyon was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done and I genuinely didn’t think that I could do it— but once it was finished, I truly felt like I could do anything. It was a feeling of elation and accomplishment that I’ve never felt before, and not sure that I’ll ever feel again. I gained a brand new sense of independence that will never leave me.
There was one point where my group and i went on a day hike which at one point got very dangerous and ‘chaucy’ (meaning lots of loose rocks and rubble). We were given the option to turn back around, and many did, but a few of us kept going and progressed forward— doing some of the most difficult and complicated rock climbing and hiking of the whole trip. When we made it to the top of the overlook— I couldn’t believe that I had done it or had the courage to do so. I was so proud of myself, and it was a wonderful moment to clearly see how much my confidence had grown.
When I left for the trip, I was battling with a ton of anxiety over my personal relationships, school, and work. If there was anything that could have snapped me out of the funk I was in— it was the Grand Canyon. It gave me a ton of perspective about the things that are real and that actually matter. Listening to a geologist talk about the massive scale of geologic time that is painted across Arizona and the west was eye opening and gave me a lot of perspective about how my life fits into the grand scheme of things.
Well, as soon as I got home from the trip I felt that something had really changed in me. I had a newfound sense of individuality and sense that I really could do whatever I put my mind to, and I could do things that I even thought I couldn’t. Ive brought that spirit into my work, into my studies, and into my personal relationships— which has led me to being a more authentic and genuine person, more confident in myself and my capabilities. I feel more comfortable putting myself out there, and trusting that the universe will guide me in the right direction.
