The intricacies of my STEP signature project entailed a plethora of things, including enrollment in a course to discuss the history of science, a week-and-a-half long trip to Europe to be immersed in the experience of science history in Europe, and completion of a class project detailing our experiences while abroad and what we learned. While in Europe, we completed a combination of proposed and paid for activities by the university, and activities on our own that allowed us to focus on the parts of science that we were not interested in from the time we spent learning about science history in Europe. We explored the few cities we got to visit, ate food that showed us how different the world is from home, and saw things that transformed our understanding of how different branches of science formed throughout time.
At the start of the STEP transformational program, I was a much different person than I am today, and I think that’s due to the experiences I had both on that trip, and during the class I was enrolled in as a part of the program. In the beginning, I entered the STEP program as a naive and quiet sophomore, unsure of what I would use my fellowship for, and how that experience could be life changing for me. Over the time period of the STEP course, I realized that studying abroad sounded much more appealing to me than spending my fellowship on a research study. Hearing the pitch from OIA and the possibilities of the places I could go was enough to sell me on wanting to travel because I had wanted to do it my entire life. Further in the future, when the time came for me to actually travel to Europe and experience all that London and Edinburgh had to offer, I was extremely excited, but I was also nervous because I had never traveled outside the country before. Little did I know, my friendships would change, as well as my views of the world.
My time in Europe was transformative for my friendships because of how much I learned about myself, what I value, and what is important to me. I wasn’t completely sure who I was prior to this experience, and I still am not completely sure who I am now, but I have a clearer idea of the parts that were fuzzy after my time in Europe. I made friends on this trip and I lost them too, and that was a difficult experience for me. Our differences began to emerge when we realized we wanted different things and valued different things. I valued clear and honest communication, and healthy relationships, and openness with the people I love, including my friends. My time in Europe presented me with an independence I had never quite experienced before, and that allowed me to understand so much more about who I am as a person and what I want to do with my life, and who I want surrounding me while I do it. It taught me that change and exploration and not knowing the answer all the time is completely okay, which completely opened up my mind to a new way of thinking.
One of the specific activities that prompted this realization was the day we spent going to Cambridge or Oxford to see the schools that we had learned so much about in our quest to understand the history of science in Europe. My friends and I did not see eye to eye that day, or on the rest of the trip really, so that was the catalyst moment for how I would see things change both within our friendship and within myself. I proceeded to choose my own path for the rest of the trip when we had free time, and that was where the new sense of independence I previously mentioned came from. Finally giving myself the chance to really make all of my own decisions for myself in a new environment that I was not entirely familiar with was exhilarating.
Another interaction that helped my sense of independence develop was the constant advice and kind words given to me by my advisors on the trip while I was experiencing these friendship troubles and finding my own sense of self in a new place. They were kind and helpful and intentional in their advice and guidance when I went to them for advice on how to approach being in Europe, and what the best experiences to have would be, as well as with my own friendship troubles. Dr. Cogan and Dr. Bird were absolutely wonderful, and so pivotal in my learning during this experience. They shared thoughtful recommendations that truly helped me see the most important parts of what the history of science in Europe really looked like, especially with such a small amount of time to explore the scope of history there.
Lastly, the friendships and memories I made along the way were ingrained in my development throughout this experience. I met so many wonderful people within my cohort that became lifelong friends, and I lost some friends along the way, and I came to realize with time that that was okay. The memories will be some I never forget, like my friends meeting sheep in a random field in Downe, Bromley, or Dr. Cogan buying his dog treats in tesco while we waited for a bus. The group dinners and London eye rides, along with figuring out the tube and how to navigate London streets to get around, I gained a new sense of independence as well as camaraderie with the beautiful people I got to experience this trip abroad with. I learned so much from them, and those memories will forever be salient in my life as I move forward and navigate the developments within my own life.
This experience of realizing more about who I am as a person, and what losing friends feels like in adult life was incredibly transformational for me. Not only because it taught me so much about my own identity that I had yet to discover, but it also taught me how much I still have to grow as a person. One of my biggest goals in life is to become the best version of myself I can be for whatever era or time period in my life I’m in. This personal goal was furthered incredibly by this experience because I learned so much from the people around me both in positive and negative ways. They gave me things to think about that allowed me to really do some introspection and further myself into becoming that best version, and I am forever grateful to that. Becoming the best version of myself allows me to be the best version for my future clients and patients as a Clinical Psychologist, which is my ultimate goal in life. Knowing myself allows me to know how I can best interact with others to make them comfortable and help them in the way I know how, and that is incredibly valuable in my career.