I went abroad to London and Paris during spring break for the Scientific Roots in Europe trip. Most of our activities were based around the scientific history/discoveries of each country but we also had time to explore other landmarks and museums.
Growing up, I never really appreciated living in a bilingual household. When I was young, both of my parents spoke Chinese and English to me because they wanted me to be able to communicate with my grandmothers. I also went to Chinese school once a week where we were taught how to read and write Chinese but I quit after starting middle school. Before going on this trip, I had never been to Europe. I had studied French in high school but I never really had any exposure to English and French culture. After the London portion of our trip I was really excited to go to France. During high school it was one of my dreams to be able to go to France and speak to natives in French. However when I got there, I experienced culture shock and simply couldn’t keep up with the rapid French that everyone was speaking. Because Paris is such a fast-paced city, I ended up feeling overwhelmed. This experience really made me treasure the fact that I had grown up in a bilingual home and it made me realize that learning a language in a classroom really isn’t the same as going out and using the language.
The main event that led to my transformation was something I experienced within an hour of being in Paris. We had about an hour for lunch so a group of us decided to go to a nearby sandwich shop and grab a quick lunch. Being the only person in our group who understood and spoke a little bit of French, I was quickly elected the spokesperson. However, I felt very nervous and when the store owner could not understand me, I became very flustered. I ended up ordering by simply pointing and feeling quite embarrassed that I had wasted over four years learning a language that I could no longer communicate in. Throughout the rest of my trip in Paris, I struggled with communication and realized that I clearly needed to practice more. By the end of my trip I was honestly exhausted. It’s difficult to constantly feel out of place and unable to communicate freely with the people around you.
To be honest, I wanted to give up. I convinced myself that I never wanted to return to Paris, or even France. After stepping back, I realize now that it’s ok that I had difficulty communicating. I haven’t studied French for three years and it’s a miracle that I can even remember the verb conjugations and small nuances. In Paris, it was so easy for me to shut down but now I realize that I just need to practice more.
From this trip, I learned that when I feel overwhelmed or upset, I need to take a step back and realize that it is okay if I feel uncomfortable. The moment will pass and I will have learned things about myself that I would not have if I had been in a familiar place. I learned that stepping out of your comfort zone is necessary.
This transformation is valuable for my life because this summer I moved abroad for two months and lived about 7700 miles away from my friends and family. It has helped me realize that it is okay to want to better myself but to not bully myself when I can’t communicate fluently. This relates to my future immensely because in the fall I will be applying to colleges (again) to pursue a degree in nursing. There will be a time when I do not have a definite plan and that is okay. I have spent three years at Ohio State and here, I feel like I’ve created a community in which I am comfortable and familiar. Within the next few years, I will be out of my comfort zone, living in a new city, pursuing a new career, and constantly learning. There will be times I will want to give up but the best thing I’ve learned from this trip is that moments of struggle will pass and in the end, I will be okay.