By: Lupita Cardenas
It is getting close to that time of the year again, and as some of us pack up and get ready to go back home we wonder what it will be like going home for the first time since being away at school. You have spent some time away from your family and become independent. With this newfound independence comes the freedom of making your own choices, getting to know yourself and abiding by your own rules. So you wonder, what will it be like going back home for the holidays? Will your parents treat you like the teenager that once occupied their home? Will their ideologies no longer coincide with yours? It is possible you might not agree on much anymore; don’t be alarmed if this is true, it is natural to reconsider your family’s ideas after this time at school. Since being away at college you have been exposed to different beliefs that better fit your purpose, and those ideas you grew up on no longer fulfill your sense of self and that is okay. Luckily for you I have developed some tips on how to enjoy your time with your family this holiday season even if conflict does arise.
This is: Your “Surviving my family this holiday season” survival guide:
Tip #1: While your away from school you might feel out of place, have some anxiety, and missing your home away from home. It is important you work on your mental wellbeing during this time. This might also help avoid conflict with your family.
- The student wellness center offers a self-paced guided meditation series that you can play anywhere you go. Meditation Resources : Student Wellness Center (osu.edu)
- Counseling and consultation services offers a series of mental health videos where you can find strategies to help anxiety, practice mindfulness, controlled breathing exercises, etc. CCS Drop-In Workshops | The Ohio State University Office of Student Life – YouTube
Tip #2: Address conflicts with a cool, level head. As I mentioned before, you and your family might not have much in common anymore so disagreements might happen. Here is how to handle those disagreements according to Thesaurus.com 7 Tips For Talking To Your Family During The Holidays | Thesaurus.com:
- Ask open-ended questions so your family feels heard.
- Find a common ground.
- State your stance on the issue at hand (if it feels safe to do so).
- Find positives within this topic.
Tip #3: Last but not least, set boundaries. Medical News Today, defines boundaries as limits a person sets based on what they consider acceptable, comfortable, and appropriate. Here are some ways to set boundaries according to MedicalNewsToday.com 8 ways to set boundaries: Relationships, parents, work and more (medicalnewstoday.com):
- Practice self-awareness.
- Name your limits.
- Express your limits.
- Be comfortable saying ‘no’.
- Get support.
If there is a topic or issue that arises you can kindly practice these tips if safe to do so or simply walk away. Your needs come first.
For some, going home for the holidays is highly anticipated; you can’t wait to eat your favorite meals you enjoyed as a kid. But for others this time can carry some stress and anxiety. You wonder, what your family will think of this new you. Don’t worry, I have now equipped you with some great tips for the holiday season in hopes you enjoy your time with family. I hope they relieve some of those stressors and hopefully gift you with a great holiday break. So, as you pack up and head back home remember that you are your own self, and you are in charge of your own life. Set boundaries and take care of your mental wellbeing. I wish you a great holiday season filled with love, happiness, and peace! Cheers to a new year!