[Professorial Lecture series post two]
Another dilemma I had upon being promoted to the rank of full professor was how to act and present myself and act as a member of the professoriate. I took a few UPT (unassigned professional time) days and came up with the following research. As you will see, I have utilized all of the skills I have learned over the past 20 years to only identify only the highest quality literature.
Hair Migration Pattern of the Male Professoriat
The typical stereotype of a male professor is of one who wears a tweed blazers with reinforced elbows, perhaps a cable-knit sweater, drives a vintage two-seater convertible, and is prone to starting conversations with “When I was at Princeton…” However, I found research that indicates that the real way to identify a male professor is by through the hair migration pattern.
The Semiotics of Professor E-mail Signatures
I also found out through extensive research one that a professors can, and should express their mood and attitude towards others through ones email signature. By paying close attention to my email signature you will now be able to tell if I like you or not.
Professorial Trading Cards
In addition to getting new business cards and an updated Linked-In profile, apparently newly promoted full professors get their own trading cards. I’m still trying to find these in within the campus eStores system.
Ninjas vs. Professors
I also discovered through my painstaking research that professors have many things in common with Ninjas. So, if you don’t see me in the processional at graduation I may be lurking in the catwalk.
Seriously, it is both an honor and a privilege to have been promoted to the rank of full professor, so lets get back to the theme of my lecture, “A Scholar’s Dilemma.”