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Building a Healthy Relationship with your Child

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Telling a parent how important it is to build a healthy relationship with their child may sound like something that’s covered in a “How-to: parenting” book or may just sound redundant if you’re not new to parenting, but the matter of the fact is that building a healthy relationship with your child really is that important.

You might think that you already have a good relationship with your child. After all, you know their favorite color, food, TV show, what their favorite toys are, or what kind of music their into, and you know almost all of their friends names. But are you sure you’re up to date? Children’s minds can change quickly and if you’re not keeping up they may feel like you don’t know or understand them and then begin to think it’s because you don’t care. All it takes is one incident where you think your daughter likes Barbie because she got one for her birthday, but her birthday was two months ago and she’s not into that anymore. Now you’ve offended her and if this becomes a regular occurrence it can damage your relationship.

“Recent research shows that children who spend time talking with their parents, taking part in family activities and meals, and building family traditions with their parents are less likely to engage in harmful activities”.  This time isn’t just the few minutes you spend talking your child after a long day of school, soccer practice, and homework. This time should be devoted to solely communicating with your child and there should be ample time allotted for it. Being a parent is a lifelong commitment. Once you’ve spent that quality time with your child in their younger years, don’t think that you’re somehow off the hook. During the teenage years, having time alone with a parent to talk can be just what they need to be reminded that they have a “safe haven”.  However, to get to that point in your relationship with your teenager, it’s important to start building your healthy relationship at a young age.

According to the article about building positive relationships with children, “all children grow and thrive in the context of close and dependable relationships that provide love and nurturance, security and responsive interactions ”.  You could read entire books on what kind of things you can do to build that kind of relationship, but it really isn’t necessary. The most important thing is that you’re constantly putting in full effort and as much time as you can afford to build a healthy relationship with your child. You can play games, eat meals, talk and listen, but you have to be devoted to it. In the same article it mentions that “adults need to invest time and attention up front with their children in developing a positive relationship before progressing to other interventions ”.

In a scholarly article that tests the effectiveness of a ‘Respectful Relationships’ program on middle-high school age youth, it reveals that participants in this program gain social-emotional confidence. This program was conducted over the times period of four years and is a good example of the kind of impact having good relationships can have on youth, specifically in a school setting. Which is important because your child spends a lot of their time at school. A good quote from this work is: 

“As human beings, we are biologically driven toward connectedness with each other and within
the various contexts that we live our lives. It is through these connections in which interactions
occur that can lead to positive growth and it is what makes human beings human.”

As a parent you just have to remember that it’s going to take time and that time will be never-ending, but in the long run it’s the best thing you can do for your child. In an article that focuses on what children gain from having positive relationships with adults it explains that, the younger the child, the more time they require. It will eventually get easier and your child will perform better in school and in social skills because of it. There are plenty or resources on how you can accomplish having a healthy relationship with your child. Like this article posted by partenting.org that tell you about what kind of relationship your child deserves and how it will make them happy. Healthy relationships take work, but the participants are happy!

Find extra tips for building a positive relationship with your child here.

  1. http://yec.sagepub.com.proxy.lib.ohio-state.edu/content/7/4/21.full.pdf+html
  2. http://go.galegroup.com.proxy.lib.ohio-state.edu/ps/retrieve.do?sgHitCountType=None&sort=RELEVANCE&inPS=true&prodId=AONE&userGroupName=colu44332&tabID=T003&searchId=R1&resultListType=RESULT_LIST&contentSegment=&searchType=AdvancedSearchForm&currentPosition=1&contentSet=GALE%7CA107754991&&docId=GALE|A107754991&docType=GALE&role=
  3. http://web.b.ebscohost.com.proxy.lib.ohio-state.edu/ehost/detail?sid=f7f17459-b162-4958-a8e7-a58a5c77f414%40sessionmgr111&vid=1&hid=124&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWhvc3QtbGl2ZQ%3d%3d#db=sih&AN=35347832
  4. http://web.b.ebscohost.com.proxy.lib.ohio-state.edu/ehost/detail?sid=c5be6e31-bf9a-4f01-ad12-264c2418d2ec%40sessionmgr114&vid=1&hid=124&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWhvc3QtbGl2ZQ%3d%3d#db=ulh&AN=5394703
  5. http://www.parenting.org/article/building-healthy-relationships
  6. http://esj.sagepub.com.proxy.lib.ohio-state.edu/content/5/3/207.full.pdf+html  

Building a Healthy Relationship with Your Child

Happy-family1

Telling a parent how important it is to build a healthy relationship with their child may sound like something that’s covered in a “How-to: parenting” book or may just sound redundant if you’re not new to parenting, but the matter of the fact is that building a healthy relationship with your child really is that important.

You might think that you already have a good relationship with your child. After all, you know their favorite color, food, TV show, what their favorite toys are, or what kind of music their into, and you know almost all of their friends names. But are you sure you’re up to date? Children’s minds can change quickly and if you’re not keeping up they may feel like you don’t know or understand them and then begin to think it’s because you don’t care. All it takes is one incident where you think your daughter likes Barbie because she got one for her birthday, but her birthday was two months ago and she’s not into that anymore. Now you’ve offended her and if this becomes a regular occurrence it can damage your relationship.

“Recent research shows that children who spend time talking with their parents, taking part in family activities and meals, and building family traditions with their parents are less likely to engage in harmful activities”.  This time isn’t just the few minutes you spend talking your child after a long day of school, soccer practice, and homework. This time should be devoted to solely communicating with your child and there should be ample time allotted for it. Being a parent is a lifelong commitment. Once you’ve spent that quality time with your child in their younger years, don’t think that you’re somehow off the hook. During the teenage years, having time alone with a parent to talk can be just what they need to be reminded that they have a “safe haven”.  However, to get to that point in your relationship with your teenager, it’s important to start building your healthy relationship at a young age.

According to the article titled Building Positive Relationships with Young Children, by Gail E. Joseph, Ph. D. and Phillip S. Strain, Ph.D., “all children grow and thrive in the context of close and dependable relationships that provide love and nurturance, security and responsive interactions ”.  You could read entire books on what kind of things you can do to build that kind of relationship, but it really isn’t necessary. The most important thing is that you’re constantly putting in full effort and as much time as you can afford to build a healthy relationship with your child. You can play games, eat meals, talk and listen, but you have to be devoted to it. In the same article it mentions that “adults need to invest time and attention up front with their children in developing a positive relationship before progressing to other interventions ”.

As a parent you just have to remember that it’s going to take time and that time will be never-ending, but in the long run it’s the best thing you can do for your child. The younger the child, the more time they require. It will eventually get easier and your child will perform better in school and in social skills because of it.

 

Find extra tips for building a positive relationship with your child here.

 

 

 

 

 

  1. http://yec.sagepub.com.proxy.lib.ohio-state.edu/content/7/4/21.full.pdf+html
  2. http://go.galegroup.com.proxy.lib.ohio-state.edu/ps/retrieve.do?sgHitCountType=None&sort=RELEVANCE&inPS=true&prodId=AONE&userGroupName=colu44332&tabID=T003&searchId=R1&resultListType=RESULT_LIST&contentSegment=&searchType=AdvancedSearchForm&currentPosition=1&contentSet=GALE%7CA107754991&&docId=GALE|A107754991&docType=GALE&role=
  3. http://web.b.ebscohost.com.proxy.lib.ohio-state.edu/ehost/detail?sid=f7f17459-b162-4958-a8e7-a58a5c77f414%40sessionmgr111&vid=1&hid=124&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWhvc3QtbGl2ZQ%3d%3d#db=sih&AN=35347832
  4. http://web.b.ebscohost.com.proxy.lib.ohio-state.edu/ehost/detail?sid=c5be6e31-bf9a-4f01-ad12-264c2418d2ec%40sessionmgr114&vid=1&hid=124&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWhvc3QtbGl2ZQ%3d%3d#db=ulh&AN=5394703