I volunteered at the Stroll for Epilepsy, which was a very fun but eye-opening experience. As a pre-med student, I have heard about how “what you say” to a patient is the most important thing you do as a doctor. A large part of medical school interview processes is observing how you respond in difficult situations. I was not too worried about this because I am generally a fun and sympathetic person (at least I think I am), so I never thought I would turn into a cold and calculating doctor who only thinks of his patients as lab animals.
But after this experience, I realized that there is more to a situation than just sympathy. The pain and trauma some patients have to go through is so immense that what you say is more important than how you say it. Sure, the tone in your voice can be comforting or relaxing, but I found it hard to find the right sentences that were both reassuring and understanding, without sounding fake or accidentally offensive. The hardest part was not appearing as if I understood what they were going through, because I didn’t. I wanted to be their friend, but I didn’t want to seem obligatorily nice or, worse, naively condescending. There were so many things I needed to juggle when I was talking to them, and my question didn’t help. As these families of epilepsy patients walked around the mall, there were stations, such as the one I was at, where they could get a stamp if they answered a question we asked. My question was “Is it true that there is no cure for epilepsy?” I always found it brutal when all the kids would confidently answer “Yes!” for me to crush them and say “…Well, no…” And it always broke my heart when I heard a patient answer “Nope, trust me I would know.” And, honestly, I wasn’t sure what to say to them sometimes. Usually I just said “I’m so sorry,” which honestly might have been the best thing to say in hindsight.
This experience was very important for me because it taught me that talking to patients about their medical issues is very tricky because I don’t know what they’ve been through and the pain they have gone through. And it’s hard for me because I really want to help them or at least be there for them, but me being me I am not the smoothest person to talk to, especially in such a delicate situation. So this is something that I will definitely have to practice, and something I look forward to mastering. Thank you for the experience, it was a blast, and thank you to the families who came. Support is invaluable, and I am sure it means a lot to those who you walked for.