About two weeks ago, I successfully defended my dissertation proposal and passed my candidacy exam. I wanted to take this opportunity to share some reflections on that process and on my second year as a PhD student.
Drafting my dissertation proposal was a year-long process of preparation, and the part I struggled with the most was choosing the right methodology. It’s one thing to know what you’re interested in or what questions you want to answer, but it’s another challenge entirely to find the right methodological framework. I remember a professor once saying that to truly understand a methodology, you have to grasp it at a theoretical level before you can apply it effectively to your own situation. I found this to be incredibly true. In the literature, many papers explain what a methodology is but often gloss over the justification for why it was the best choice. The candidacy process, however, forces you to justify your choice. I had to dive deep into the theory behind my chosen methodology and articulate how it fit with my conceptual framework. This process truly sparked my thinking about my dissertation. I stopped looking at my dissertation as a product of simply choosing a common theory or method to fill in each section. Instead, I began to see it as a cohesive whole. To justify one choice I made, I had to connect it to all the other pieces in my proposal. I may have done this subconsciously while drafting, but writing for candidacy made this connection explicit and forced me to reflect more deeply.
I also want to point out that preparing for candidacy, while stressful, was a great adventure. I saw it as a process of introspection. As a research assistant, I was used to completing specific research and writing tasks, but I hadn’t yet seen the “backstage” decision-making of a large project. Writing my proposal and critically justifying my choices gave me a chance to truly reflect on my own thoughts and decisions. On the surface, the candidacy exam might seem like it’s all about defending yourself and your choices. However, it’s not just about being defensive. It’s more about the journey of arriving at a specific choice and exploring all the options and alternatives along the way. It’s about accepting critiques and embracing questions. Every question from a committee member became an opportunity for me to reflect and think more critically about my dissertation.
Finally, I want to reflect on my second year. I had a very stressful first year, and overcoming a period of depression was a significant challenge. Passing my qualifying exam at the end of that year was a crucial step that helped me better understand my own capabilities and weaknesses. Looking back now, while I haven’t published a ton of papers yet (I have one first-author publication so far, which is something I plan to focus on in the next two years), I feel content. As someone who took a few years off before starting my PhD, I wasn’t always confident in my ability to navigate the challenges and grow as a scholar. But looking back, I can clearly see my growth, and I have a better sense of what I need to do to keep moving forward.
I am so grateful for the support system I have: my advisor, my committee members, my peers in our research group and the department, and my family for all their support and love. But most of all, I want to thank myself for persevering and not giving up.
Passing candidacy is a huge relief, but it also signifies the start of new challenges and more fun to come. And I’m genuinely excited for what’s next.