Self-regulation:
Goleman describes self-regulation as an internal conversation. “It is like an ongoing inner conversation as a component of emotional intelligence that frees us from being prisoners of our feelings. People engage in such a conversation feel bad moods and emotional impulses just as everyone else does but they find ways to control them and even to channel them in useful ways.” (Goleman, 1999)
I continue to struggle with how I react to making decisions and responding to questions or criticism. It took a few times reading this article as well as a few videos on the subject to realize I struggle the most with this position of emotional intelligence. It is my weakness because I tend to reactively respond to questions instead of taking a moment or pause. The video below it talks about how a negative comment or thought may just be a true statement on something I need to work on. Pausing and thinking about what was said may remove any snap decisions or regrets later.
Strategies for Growth
- Pause before responding. Taking just a moment to reflect on what was said this may provide just enough clarity to provide a well thought out response
- I like the idea to have a “filler phrase” ready for incidence where you need to reflect on a comment. When a question is posed that you are not prepared for maybe acknowledging it by saying “that’s an interesting point of view let me think on that.” This will provide the chance for my body to seek an answer and not feel attacked.
Goleman, D. (1999). What makes a leader? Clinical Laboratory Management Review: Official Publication of the Clinical Laboratory Management Association, 13(3), 123–131.