When I first started my first year of medical I did as most medical students do I found my core group of friends. Being a very goofy person also slightly introvert I found people who are like me. And all friendships eventually come with their ups and downs. They come with defining moments where showing up as a must. Unfortunately for my friends our friendship was put through trail by fire. Because early in our friendship I needed them far more than I ever thought I would. My mom passed away in March of our first year, less than a year into my friendship with any of these people.

My mother used to say: “when everything falls down around you, you would know who your true friends are”. And these people that I had met less than a year ago they showed up. After my mom passed away I was lost for a while and then I simply withdrew. It just seemed easier in many ways to be alone, to deal with my pain alone. I’m a very hard person to comfort I always have been. I’m not very good at leaning on other people or asking for help, its probably my kryptonite. I grew up in a family of seven children but i was the oldest girl. So while I was the 4th oldest overall I was the one everyone leaned on outside of my mother. My mother was not only my best friend but she was all also my confidant, MY shoulder to lean on. So when I lost my mother I lost the only support system I had.

But there were a few people in particular that did not leave me alone when I asked for it. When I requested the space and solitude to dwell in my own misery they refused. They saw through the fake smile and they knew I was not ok. And they cajoled, bribed, threatened and waited patiently until eventually I gave in. They shoved me until I had no choice but to lean on them. They made me recognize that what I was considering grief was not simply grief; I was depressed. And they made me get help. But they also did more than make me get help; they taught me a lesson the medical school had been trying to teach me from our numerous lectures and our yoga and meditation in LG. They taught me wellness. They pointed out that I would feel better if I was active so I exercised and I hiked. They encouraged me to take study breaks and start doing things I enjoyed, so I cooked.

One of my mothers favorite says was “You cannot pour from an empty cup” which is basically the principle of wellness. As a psychiatrist I will serve one of the most vulnerable populations in medicine. I will endeavor to always do everything I can to provide them with the best care. But this requires that I am at my best. It requires that I am a well rounded, balanced human being. And i have found what that means for me:  I don’t love yoga but i love hiking and thinking, I love writing and reflecting on my life. I know that wellness will be harder to maintain as I move along in my career especially as i move from medical student from intern but I also know vital it is. I also have a support system there to back me up when things get hard..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I read my brothers superheroes comics as a child and to this day they are still one of my favorite things in the world. I love the idea of superheroes – not in the cape wearing laser vision kind of way. But to me what makes a superhero is their story; they are inspiring, amazing people who embody characteristics we ourselves want to embody.

And that is who life was kind enough to allow me to find – 4 superheroes. They are not larger than life, they do not save the world in their free time — to my knowledge anyway. They do not have super human qualities they are loud, goofy, ridiculous people. But they are also simply amazing. And when they went on to 3rd year and I stayed behind I gained amazing mentors. So when I struggled in a rotation or simply needed words of advice or a laugh I didn’t have far to turn. And when I battled my sadness, my depression, and medical school they stood beside me and lent me their strength. They provided me a system of support and a foundation on which to stand . They have not only enriched my personal life but they have also taught me a fundamental principle that will enrich my future career.

My superheroes wear white coats not capes and they wield humor, love and friendship not swords. And in this stressful world of burnout and medicine im glad I have my fantastic four.

 

SNMA has also been a great experience in teaching me the importance of stories, heroes and having someone to look up to. SNMA as I always describe it is the minority association of medical students. It has thus far been one of favorite parts of medical school for the simple fact that representation matters. Its hard to see yourself in a career where you don’t see yourself. SNMA was one of the first organizations I joined in medical school. I have mentored fellow medical students and high school students and i have been mentored by residents and faculty that look like me. I am a black girl in medicine and that alone makes me part of a very small percent. But I also have a unique perspective in terms of my background.

I had a college student who once told me his biggest fear was that he wouldn’t fit in medicine. All of the black physicians and medical students he had met prior to me were all middle class and many had doctors as parents themselves. He was a very smart kid but grew up in a rough neighborhood. I was one of seven kids raised by a disabled mother. I grew up in the ghetto surrounded by abandoned houses, shady people and a neighborhood it wasn’t safe to walk in. I think talking to him was the first time it hit me how important our varied experiences are when it comes to mentoring. Our backgrounds, our childhoods and experiences are important; they help make us who we are. But they don’t determine our future and they definitely cannot and should not limit our future. But that is exactly the lesson I grew up being taught, it’s what many of us are taught – that doctors don’t come from neighborhoods like ours. One of main things I reiterate to myself as well as my mentees is: everyone’s story is important. The struggles, the failures, the success  –  all of it matters. And you never know who is waiting to be inspired by your story no matter how ordinary you think your story may be – everyone is someone’s hero. Each of us have fought and will continue fight our own battles, face off with our demons and in some cases we will take up the mantle for those who currently are unable to wage to their own defense. And though we may chalk this up as an ordinary life – someone will stand back and see a cape.

Systems Based Practice CEO 5.4: Identify and utilize professional role models as a means of growth and accept the responsibility of acting as a role model and teaching and training others