Rob Dunay Narrative Values Reflection
I think we all want to be remembered by something. For some people, that’s financial success. For others, it may be that they were involved in an organization that helped people. But even more fundamentally than these, we want to be known for the type of person that we were. A great way to sum up a person is to just use a few adjectives to describe the way in which they lived. This is where Todd May’s narrative values come in. May describes his narrative values as themes to our lives when viewed as a story. I took it to be something that not only defines us, but as something that we can work towards. An example of this is someone who has committed many crimes and has a certain revelation which causes them to rethink their lives. He spends the rest of his life trying to change what people think of him, and in doing so, he actually changes who he is. So, while narrative values as defined by May are supposed to represent what a person, whether omnipotent or not, thinks about the values that the subject exhibits, they can be used to alter or maintain our selves.
There are two narrative values that I believe I have exhibited thus far in my life. They are wittiness and sincerity. Wittiness is not something I’ve always been known for, however without it, I wouldn’t be me. When I was young, I remember being rather shy. I lived in Hungary until I was 9 years old and I had 2 best friends outside of who I had no friends. In new situations, I was often unsure how to act. This behavior continued after I moved to the US until around middle school. I’m not sure how much of it came from how I was raised vs my natural ability that I was born with, but around high school, I began to notice the frequency and success of my quips. If it has always been a part of my identity, I wasn’t always aware of it. Nevertheless, it’s a narrative value that I choose to live by, and it is something I want people to remember me by. I think of my wittiness as a positive trait and something that I can’t see myself not being. It’s not as if every time I make a remark or a joke I am motivated by my desire to align with the narrative value of wittiness, I just make them because it’s who I am and what I do.
The other narrative, sincerity, is something I’ve been known for since I was very young. I choose not to lie or tell white lies because I find it a waste of time and energy. In my view, the best approach to nearly any situation is to tell the truth. If someone asks for criticism regarding something, I’ll tell them what I think, unless, of course, I’m trying to be funny, in which case I’m usually sarcastic. I’m often a goofy person, but if my account of something is needed, or my opinion regarding a certain matter is requested, I’m not going to “sugar coat” it. It is very unnatural to me. One of the things I noticed when I moved here from Hungary is that Americans value appearances and personal interaction much more than Hungarians. Here small talk is much more common, saying hello to strangers is not unheard of, and being able to speak in a way that benefits oneself or others is an important skill to have, and one which often requires bending the truth. Someday I may hone this skill and use it when it’s necessary, but it would greatly go against my character. Of course, there are also many people who value direct answers and sincerity, which I express naturally. The narrative value of sincerity is one that I will strive to embody throughout my life.
I can’t say May’s narrative values have definitively given my life meaning, but they exemplify what I had already wanted my life to lead to; that I want to exhibit certain traits throughout my life that the people who know me would remember me by. In fact, I strive for Rob Dunay to be viewed objectively as witty and sincere. These narrative values don’t give me meaning in life, but they’re a good reason to live.