The dreaded day is nearly upon us…V-Day. If you’re perpetually single like me, you probably think of it as just another day. The only difference is people look at you with sad eyes when you tell them you have no plans. And you see a lot of people kissing and mild groping. Seriously couples, do you have to be so lovey-dovey all the damn time? I can’t keep walking around with a barf bag, it doesn’t fit my aesthetic.

If you are single, don’t worry because I’ve got your back! Here are some things you can do while all your friends go on awesome dates!

1. Netflix and No Chill. Watch a Rom-Com or a Horror, depending on your mood.
2. Avoid Fifty Shades of Grey. That’s my advice year round.
3. Eat copious amounts of chocolate from those fancy heart boxes. Unless you’re allergic to dairy, but I’m pretty sure you can still eat dark chocolate so HEY-O.
4. Go out with friends. Here’s your reason to drown your sorrows with alcohol!
5. Don’t be afraid to hang out with your family. Mom needs to feel loved today too!
6. AVOID DATING SITES AT ALL COSTS. I cannot stress this point enough. You’re vulnerable and kinda desperate, this is not the time to go searching for love.
7.  Throw an anti-Valentine’s Day party. If Jessica Biel and Jennifer Garner can do it in the movie appropriately called Valentine’s Day, then you can too.
8. Cry it out. R.E.M.’s “Everybody Hurts” plays in the background.
9. Realize you don’t need anyone to validate you. Cue Kelly Clarkson’s “Miss Independent.” (Can also be changed to “Mr. Independent”).
10. Do your homework! Yeah…I didn’t think so either. This isn’t the day to start kidding ourselves.

I hope these helped and if not, sorry about it.

1. “Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend yet?”
2. “Why are you still single?”
3. “They weren’t kidding about the Freshman 15, huh?”
4. “There’s no whip cream for the pumpkin pie.”
5. “How’s school going?”
6. “Hillary Clinton…”
7. “When are you going to give your parents grandkids?”
8. “Oh just wait until you get to the real You have it so easy now!”
9. “What are you going to do after graduation?”
10. “I think I lost my Band-Aid when I was making the mashed potatoes.”
11. “Yeah you’re 21, but you can still sit with the toddlers, right?”
12. “Donald Trump…”
13. “Let’s talk about how much you owe in student loans!”
14. “Sorry you have to sit by me, yams give me gas.”
15. “Not to alarm anyone, but I think Grandma’s on fire.”