After a lengthy winter break, I was ready to begin my second semester of Optometry school as a superstar. I imagined returning to school in a blaze of glory where I was more involved, a genius in the classroom, and basically a celebrity to my adoring classmates. I imagined my return to school a little something like this:

Derek opens the double doors to Starling Loving Hall and  a technicolor dream carpet unfurls before him leading him to the basement. As he descends the staircase to Room 22, puppies and land dolphins greet him with  fancy upper New York socialite double cheek kisses. Of course, each subsequent animal presents Derek with a bouquet of roses as he continues his descent down the staircase (and he magically lost 20 pounds the night before, so he’s looking fine as he works those steps). The paparazzi diligently wait at the bottom of the stairs and take pictures of Derek as he makes his way to the classroom, ready to tackle his first class of the semester. Derek calls the paparazzi vultures and banishes them, but in a likable way that increases his Twitter followers by 2 million. Suddenly the entire class of 2020 encircles Derek, and begins asking him about his holiday break and in general, attempts to bathe in his radiance. Suddenly, gold coins pour out from a crack in the ceiling and flood the halls. Derek looks around at his classmates and in a suave charismatic tone says, “Fellow optometry students. If you want to work your way into my good graces, collect these gold coins and donate half of them to starving children. Then take the other half and deposit them into my bank account so I can buy a Nintendo Switch this semester.” Then as the students collect the money, the faculty run up to present Derek with the ‘Student of the Eternity Award’. Derek graciously accepts and with humility says, “I couldn’t have done it without you, my esteemed professors.” Suddenly a pipe bursts spilling out rubies. “Professors, be a dear and collect these rubies for me. Donate half to spay and neuter pets, and place the rest in my bank account.” As the professors collect rubies, the lights dim and Johnny Superstar approaches and asks Derek to the Winter Harvest Festival and NOT because of a bet with the popular jocks that he could turn Derek into the Winter Harvest Festival Queen, but because he genuinely adores Derek’s eccentricities and quirky pigtails and glasses. 

That was my realistic expectation for the start of a new semester and I was determined to make it happen. Unfortunately, my reality was a bit of a let down. I began school with a week long stomach virus that caused me to miss a few days of class, my first clinic and I missed out on pledging Epsilon Psi Epsilon, which sounded like a lot of great fun. Worst of all, I received zero puppy kisses and only eighteen rubies. It was quite the let down, especially because I placed such an emphasis on starting this semester with a bang; however, things don’t always go as planned. It’s important to manage your expectations with school and recognize that there may be circumstances outside of your control that challenge you. What is nice though, is that there are always plenty of opportunities to recover when things don’t go your way. I was able to catch up on all my missed school work and my clinic was rescheduled. Now that I’m feeling better, I’m going to try my hardest to be involved in as many school sponsored events as possible, because I believe that the events outside of the classroom are just as important of an experience as the work you complete in the classroom. There are a number of awesome upcoming events, like a Night at The Races and The EyeBall, where I’m planning on having an awesome time (barring any unforseen illnesses).  My semester may have gotten off to a rocky start, but I’m optimistic that things will go much more smoothly from here on out, and who knows, maybe I’ll still get the land dolphin/gold coin rain/Winter Harvest trifecta. Or not. Yeah, probably not.

Tyra says “I’m not wearing these glasses because I have any underlying vision issues. I’m wearing these glasses so I can see myself twice as hard. That’s how glasses work, right?”

In May of 2003, Tyra Bank’s massive ego gave birth to an over the top display of self adoration, cleverly disguised as a modeling show titled America’s Next Top Model. The show involves models crying over the difficulties of walking a straight line, cutting their hair, and struggling to live surrounded by other people as shallow as themselves, all while Tyra Banks contemplates her immortality and feigns interest in the aspiring models’ grief. I find that after a week of intense mental stress (ie: finals) it is nice to turn off the brain for a week and immerse myself in a passive activity with no consequences or substance. This past week, I have celebrated my successful completion of the first semester of optometry college by binge watching America’s Next Top Model on Hulu. Although my brain was confused at the abrupt change in pace from learning about thyroid issues to learning about how eye contact at the end of the runway is essential for creating that special photo opportunity, it has been nice to decompress. Aside from watching trashy reality television from over a decade ago, I’ve also decided to reflect on my first semester of Optometry school. There have been lots of successes, but also a lot of areas where I can improve. For one thing, no situation ever warranted the amount of stress or anxiety that I experienced. The professors were always fair and my classmates were supportive and friendly. Being in a high pressure situation for long periods of time can sometimes lead to paranoia. I’ll try to remember that for next semester when I experience irrational fear that everyone is congregating after hours in some vast conspiracy to set me up for failure. Another valuable lesson I learned from my first semester is that grades, while important, are not the most important thing. Learning and understanding the material is so much more important. If I get an A from cramming the material, but I ultimately forget everything I learned, that is less ideal than receiving a lower grade but ultimately remembering everything. As hard as it is, I’m going to stop focusing so much on grades and more on if I really understand everything. That will ultimately make me a better doctor in the long run and eliminate some of the anxiety that accompanies the quest for a perfect GPA. Over the next two weeks it will be nice to continue to think about ways to make my next semester even more successful, but perhaps, even more exciting is the prospect of continued uninterrupted viewing of trashy television. Two weeks is actually quite a bit of time and some may (foolishly) argue that television is not the most important thing in the world; so, I look forward to doing a wide variety of enriching and fulfilling activities. Maybe I’ll make a muppet, go rock climbing, bowling, take a trip to the zoo or write a short story! I’m not sure exactly what I’m going to do for the next two weeks, but I’ll figure it out . . . after another episode of models screaming at each other because someone ate someone else’s grocery item without their permission. Maybe two episodes.

If you procrastinate too much, it won’t leave you time to get outside and enjoy the beautiful Ohio fall weather.

Yesterday, in the midst of a multi hour study session, I locked eyes with a chubby squirrel sitting on the fence outside of my window. I wanted to ignore the squirrel and look back down at my notes to continue educating myself on aqueous humor flow, but I couldn’t look away. For some reason, the squirrel couldn’t look away either. It was official: we were in a staring contest. A staring contest that I was determined to win. This inter species staring contest, much like my hour long session of tracking European weather patterns , was yet another manifestation of my procrastination. Whether it’s modelling old Halloween wigs in the mirror or composing ballads during an hour long shower, the temptation to procrastinate seems to increase exponentially the more midterms build up. A little procrastination is nothing to worry about, but too much procrastination can lead to low quality studying, which eats up a lot of time. For me, it isn’t easy to ignore the click-bait headlines of those articles advertised around the borders of popular websites, for example: “She just pulled WHAT out of this box of Oreo’s?!?” or  “Doctors Hate Him! Check Out This One Trick ….”. Who could resist clicking on those tantalizing albeit misleading article descriptions? Or what about those articles that claim “So and So Won Christmas” or “So and So Just Won Checking Out At The Supermarket.” I mean, what’s that all about? This whole concept of winning these imaginary competitions. What are the rules? Who are the authorities that get to decide who wins? I get that it’s just an expression, but I can’t stop thinking about it. Oh no, I’m in the middle of a procrastination episode right now! It’s such an easy trap to fall into, but I must remain strong. The opportunity cost of too much procrastinating is high, because there are a multitude of school sponsored events,  volunteering, and socials awaiting all optometry students. In addition, Columbus is incredibly vibrant and dynamic, so there’s incredible value in having enough free time to explore the city. Thanks to some efficient studying last night, I was able to go out and try Gogi bbq, a Korean bbq restaurant that’s about a 15 minutes drive from campus. The food was extraordinary and it was a satisfying experience to cook my own food on the grill that was built into the center of the table. From pinball bars, food truck festivals, gallery hops, strong man competitions, microbreweries, off Broadway productions, to stellar dining, there is a lot to experience in Columbus; so, staying on top of school really pays off. Regarding that staring contest with the squirrel? I lost. That disheveled tree rat would not take his eyes off of me and although bragging rights would be nice, I feel much better knowing that I was able to recover from my distraction and complete some good work that enabled me to enjoy my evening.