A notice goes up on the company bulletin board:
“All those who have not already received their subsistence allowance this week should report to the Deputy Assistant Bursar (D.A.B.) at 9 am next Monday, unless they also failed to get it last week, in which case they should not report to anybody anywhere, unless they are over 21 and/or have a maternal grandmother who is still alive, in which case they should either report to the Substantive Acting Registrar at 10 pm on Tuesday or to the D.A.B. at 12 noon on Wednesday according to whether their surname begins with a letter in the first half of the alphabet or not, unless their paternal grandmother does not have or did not have a passport, in which case they should report to the Warden as soon as possible, unless they have already passed their driving test and/or do not have a bicycle, in which case they should take a couple of aspirins and go quietly home to bed.”
Ms. Zola Hooberry, age 20, has not received her subsistence allowance this week or last. She has a bicycle but has not passed her driving test. Both her grandmothers are still alive and have passports.
What should she do?
Ms. Hooberry, having received no subsistence this week or last, would not report to anybody, except that she has a living maternal grandmother, so with a surname in the first half of the alphabet, she should report to the Substantive Acting Registrar at 10 pm on Tuesday. None of the subsequent exceptions apply to her, so she should not go to the Warden or stay at home in bed.